The “troops” gathered on the “parade ground” outside the Light Dragoon at Etton. The sun was shining and all was well with the world as we watched and waved to the many passing cyclists while waiting for the “roll call”. Today’s “action” would take place at the Farm Shop at Hutton Cranswick. “Before we set off” uttered Lord of the Cardigan “I have a confession to make….. I don’t have any mudguards today” he explained. A look of utter disbelief crept onto the face of Michael who had finally managed (after much cajoling) to arrive with mudguards attached. “AND the roads are wet!” he exclaimed indignantly.

“The table is booked for 11.30am” advised Cardigan “.. so no hanging around”. Setting off along Etton main street our platoon were immediately “bombarded with light flak” from the westerly wind. The blasts continued to hamper our progress as we “ducked and dived” our way through Kiplingcotes to Market Weighton, occasionally “taking cover” at the side of the road to allow some “enemy tanks” to pass.

At Market Weighton the reinforcements arrived in the form of Zog. “Wow another one ‘sans’ mudguard” observed Michael. “I’ll form the rearguard then shall I?”. The next stage of the “battle” was a long upwards slog. Starting with Intake Hill then onwards to the top of Nunburnholme. Not an overly steep climb but doesn’t it just “drag…oon”.

At the top, we took a chance for a brief respite to regroup. “We should have the wind behind us now… ” advised Lord of the Cardigan “and we’ve got 50 minutes to get there.. 49….48” he counted down as Heather vainly tried to get a photograph of us all before the platoon charged off. Taking no prisoners, Lord of the Cardigan led from the front ably assisted by Michael and James. By the time the platoon reached Dalton Dale the charge had turned into a full on gallop taking us through North Dalton and Bainton and onto Neswick Lane. At this point the platoon split into two with the “vanguard” heading through Southburn and Hutton while the “rearguard” took to Burnbutts Lane attacking the Farm shop from two sides. Our mission was accomplished with a few minutes to spare.

On the return journey it was straight back into the wind once more. As the platoon pushed forward, Pugwash began struggling at the back dropping further and further away. “Wow I must have used all my ammo in the earlier charge” he thought “why is this such hard work?”. When we’d regrouped someone spotted that there was a problem with my mudguard. The anchor point had come loose allowing it to rotate round the wheel and drag on the ground. “No wonder it was so difficult” said Pugwash as he rotated it back into position. Unfortunately it refused to remain in place and when a little further along the road at the top of Bracken it was necessary to make a better “fix”. Huge kudos to both Neil and James for the assistance which got me home.

The remainder of the journey followed our usual route back through South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton.

The “teams” gathered round the Market Cross for this year’s biennial “Rider Cup”. While the “players” milled about waiting for their introduction to the “first tee” it was over to the “Starter” to get proceedings underway. “Starter! Oh where’s the starter?” we all cried. The “players” looked around at each other puzzled, “Are we sure he’s meeting us on the first tee?” A quick check on “slack” to make sure there was no last minute change of message showed nothing. “Well the ‘match’ always starts on time” suggested one competitor. Just as we were “daring” to set off without him, a breathless “Starter” hove into view. “Sorry, sorry” he implored “I had a puncture on the way in”. “You did well to get here then” suggested one competitor. “Not really” replied the starter “I was close enough to home to return and collect another bike”.

The “first hole” was a tricky par four where the competitors had to negotiate a number of dog-legs on the way to the “green” at the ‘magic roundabout’. The “second hole” was a long part five heading over the “famous” Weel Bridge towards Tickton. Along the way there were a number of “bunkers” to avoid. The “home side” took advantage of their local knowledge and raced into an early lead.

On reaching the “par three third” we came across an “injured spectator” trying to repair a puncture. After lending a hand, the “match” continued. Several competitors went “out of bounds” ignoring the “no cycles” sign as we all crossed the busy main road at Tickton.

Next up was the “par five fourth” leading to White Cross roundabout. A long straight forward “fairway” with a few minor obstacles to negotiate. On reaching the “green” there was no sign of the “back markers”. Turned out that one competitor had trouble with his “buggy” when the chain came off.

The “fifth hole” was a long “par four” with a few doglegs leading through Leven and Brandesburton. The “home” team continued to press their advantage opening an even bigger gap while the “away team” got bogged down by “spectators” at the Brandesburton roundabout.

The “sixth hole” was a short “par three” along the Bridlington road to the Catfoss junction where once again several competitors went “out of bounds” slicing the wrong side of the “Keep Left” dividing markers. Perhaps they were hoping to make up some ground on the “home team”.

The “seventh hole” was another long “par four” over a beautifully laid out “fairway” leading to Dunnington. Unfortunately there was a “temporary” green in place here forcing the “players” to take a short run along the main road to Beeford.

The “eighth hole” was another long “par five” with doglegs through Foston-on-the-Wolds eventually reaching Wansford. Along the way the various “competitors” jockeyed for position as each headed to the front for brief periods.

The final “hole” before the “halfway house” was the “par four ninth” leading through Skerne and into Hutton Cranswick. It was made even longer by the fact that the “teams” were now “driving” into the wind. The sight of the Farm Shop was therefore welcome and a chance to take on some refreshments. At this point the “home team” had a small advantage.

The “second nine” would prove somewhat more difficult as the “teams” continued to battle against the wind. The “tenth” was a standard “par four” with doglegs across open ground leading to the top of Bracken hill. The “eleventh hole” was relatively easy downhill “par three” through Bracken farm.

The “twelfth hole” was a straight up “par four” leading the teams south along Bracken lane to the “par three thirteenth” which consisted of a short “drive” to South Dalton. The “fourteenth hole” in contrast to the previous sections of the “course” was rather hilly. The “drive from the tee” was initially downhill followed by a short steep ramp before a final drop to the “green” at Etton.

The easy short “par three fifteenth” gave the players a brief respite from the head winds as the “fairway” led through Etton village. The “par four sixteenth” began another hilly section as the “players” faced the ramp up to Rootas Lane followed by a second bump over the old railway bridge before arriving at Cherry Burton.

The “seventeenth hole” was another hilly “par four” featuring “Amen Corner” (aka Granny’s Hump) so called for the number of players who offer up a prayer on reaching the top, usually in the form of “I hate that Hill”. The “final hole” was a dogleg “par four” leading along Finchcroft Road then back to the clubhouse. At the end of a closely fought contest the “honours” were even with both “sides” having enjoyed a wonderful day despite the cool winds.

SUNDAY 29th JANUARY

Sunday saw five Knights venturing out to the east coast for a ride to Hornsea. With a wind from the west-south-west progress was brisk as we headed to Leven, Brandesburton, North Frodingham, Beeford and Bewholme before arriving at the Mere Cafe in Hornsea.

The return journey however was a very different affair, “battling” our way back into a head wind, passing through Great Hatfield, Long Riston then over the exposed road of Kidhill Lane before returning to Routh and home.

TUESDAY 31st JANUARY

Seven (fool)hardy souls decided to risk the even stronger winds now blowing from the west at 20mph. A short hop to the Farm Shop cafe at Hutton Cranswick was proposed. Getting there was the “easy” bit with the wind mostly from the side but some shelter from roadside hedges until reaching Bracken.

By the time we’d left the cafe, the wind was beginning to gust up to gale force. Retracing our route back over Bracken we were exposed to the full brunt of the wind. Riding directly into such a strong wind was akin to wading through treacle (though not as sweet)! On turning the first corner the wind suddenly was now on the side making it extremely difficult to stay upright and in a straight line. At this point two of our group abandoned and took the train home from Cranswick. The remaining five continued slowly back.

FRIDAY 3rd FEBRUARY

Twelve Knights set off from Market Cross for Ray’s presentation ride, “Blowin’ in the Wind” he called it. An apt and “Fitling” title as the westerly winds continued to blow at a “gentle breeze”. Our destination was the Spotted Duck cafe at Fitling giving a flat ride of around 45 miles. Progress there was relatively easy with the wind helping most of the way. Unfortunately four of our group suffered punctures, one on the way out and three on the way back.

After weeks of sub-zero temperatures, the “bears” emerged from their virtual hibernation feeling somewhat hungry for action. Daddy Bear roared out the rallying cry. “Anyone out this Friday?” he asked. It was not long before the responses came. Like snowdrops poking their heads from the wintery ground a chorus of replies rang out “I’m coming out!”, “Me too!”, “And me!” until we had a sloth of nine bears.

Gathering at Manor House, the bears milled around checking their winter coats, scratching backs and comparing appendages…….. on the end of their mudguards. “Pooh! Was that you?” cried one bear. Establishing some sense of order Daddy Bear called out “Right you cubs, there is a good food source at Goodmanham. Let’s get on the road”.

Setting off towards Newbald the bears “shuffled, walked and ran” up hill and down Dale until reaching the junction at Stoneknowle hill where they all regrouped.

Following a brief recovery it was time to head for the dizzying heights of High Gardham. After “clawing” their way to the top the “bears” were treated for their efforts with lovely long descent to Low Gardham leading to a flat section towards Etton. Such joy was short lived though as the “bears” turned uphill to the “spire in the sky” that is South Dalton Church a beacon standing visible for miles around.

Continuing upwards, the “bears” arrived at Holme-on-the-Wolds before turning west on the Middleton road. Hunger pangs started to take effect as the “bears” began to sniff the air for the scent of food. The next leg of the journey took us back south towards Kiplingcotes before heading back uphill on the Kiplingcotes Race Course road then “galloped” down to Goodmanham.

While the “bears” filled their stomachs, Daddy Bear outlined the route back to the “den”. “If anyone is time pressed they can find their own way back” he suggested. Then after trying to outline what sounded like a long and winding road home, a chorus of “bears” cried out mockingly “Oh, I think I need to be home early!”

Fully sated, the “bears” were once again on the move. Heading firstly back along Cross Gate towards Middleton Road and then retracing their “steps” back to Holme-on-the-Wolds. The final leg took us back through Etton and Cherry Burton before returning home for a well earned afternoon nap.

“Right men, today is going to be another ‘local derby’. This time the ‘match’ will be against our eastern neighbours ‘The Spotted Ducks’ at Fitling.” outlined ‘coach’ Raymond before adding “but we’ll take a different tack for this game”. After outlining our ‘tactics’ the ‘team’ set off.

The initial ‘phase of the game’ saw a lot of ‘duckin and divin’ as we made our way through the myriad of defences in the form of cars, traffic lights etc until reaching Weel Bridge. The ‘team’ then began to settle into their task maintaining a nice steady rhythm as we continued on to Tickton and Routh.

On the next ‘phase’ through Meaux, the pace picked up with the five strong “attack force” surging forward desperately seeking the first ‘goal’. On reaching the junction of Swine Road there was no let up in the pace as the ‘team’ sailed on towards Swine aided by a generally helpful wind. It felt like no time at all when we reached Coniston. “Shouldn’t we wait for the ‘midfield’ and ‘defence’ to catch up?” enquired one of the ‘attack force’. However, sensing ‘victory’ not far away they decided to keep ‘pressing forward’ to Sproatley.

Another burst of pace from Mark our ‘No.9’ for the ‘first half’ had Barry all flustered. “I only came out for a gentle ride” he said before racing onto the front as we approached Humbleton. As then Mark continued to set the pace, it later became apparent there may have been an ulterior motive. No… not to be first in the queue but as he explained later “I don’t eat breakfast if I’m only doing 50 miles”. No wonder he was in such a hurry for the ‘half time whistle’. I’m sure he could have eaten the whole duck not just a spot of it!

For the ‘second half’ the team mixed things up a bit with some of the ‘attackers’ dropping back to ‘midfield’ or ‘defence’ while others looking for ‘promotion’ spread their wings and headed up to the front. The new formation battled their way into the head wind as we passed Burton Constable and onwards to Old Ellerby.

By the time we’d reached Skirlaugh there was no sign of the “attack” force. Leading the “rear guard”, Matty side swerved the Skirlaugh defence leading us onto Cawood Drive before returning to Beningholme Lane. Still no sign of the attackers left us wondering if they were ahead of us or waiting at the end of Beningholme Lane. Fortunately the attackers had spotted the ruse and were able to bring the team together once more.

By this time the wind had “parked the bus” in front of the “goal” making progress difficult. Things were not helped when Pugwash began to feel a little “deflated” and realised his rear tyre had gone flat. Luckily the “stretcher” was not needed but with lots of teamwork and great assistance from team doctor Neil, we were soon back on the road once more. Buoyed by the brief interlude, the team set off along the Meaux Road to return to Routh. This time with the wind briefly at our backs, Matty raced to the front and hit a “screamer” in an effort to find the ‘opening goal’.

The “opposition” however was not giving up easily and as we turned back towards Beverley the “holding role” of the wind made progress difficult. When the “final whistle” blew, the crowds began heading for the exits to make their way home reflecting on what had been a “beautiful game” regardless of the “teams” having drawn a “duck”.

🎶How many roads must a Knight ride down, before they call him a fan?🎶 No amount of wind blowin was about to spoil our day out with fifteen Knights turning out for a flattish ride to Allerthorpe. Well at least that was the plan until our maestro route master gave an option of “long and flat” or “short and hilly”. “Short and hilly to the Fiddle Drill it is then. How about this route?” asked Raymond as he outlined the “new” route. 🎶How many times must a man repeat himself, before the message sinks in?🎶 After the third time of singing the same song we’d finally “got it”.

Just as we were about to set off, Michael appeared in the distance along the road. He’s obviously trying to earn himself the title of lastminute.com. As he got closer, shouts went out “Keep Going! Don’t stop!” Unfortunately for him he’d missed the “briefing” and started to set off in the wrong direction. Luckily for him, we were feeling in good spirits and shouted to advise him of his error.

Splitting into two groups, the first leg of our journey headed directly into the wind with a steady incline towards Newbald making it feel like cycling through treacle. The genius of our route master soon became apparent when we turned onto Stoneknowle hill with the wind now behind giving a little gentle push to help us on the way. The climbing however continued until eventually reaching High Gardham before a long descent towards Etton.

Next on the agenda was the climb up to Holme-on-the-Wolds with the wind blowin’ on the side. The full brunt of the wind was somewhat tempered by the hedgerows just watch out for the “broadside” when passing the gaps. Turning west on the Middleton road it was time for head winds once more. This however was only a “taster” of what was to come. Our route master had thrown in a “curve ball” opting to turn back towards Kiplingcotes. Now we were facing the full force of the wind directly ahead. Fortunately the initial climb was a short sharp ramp before dropping down to Kiplingcotes.

The final section to the cafe took us onto more familiar territory along the gravel strewn Spring Road before heading upwards on this year’s hill climb challenge to reach the Fiddle Drill.

On leaving the cafe, we headed back uphill along Cross Gate to the junction to Kiplingcotes. Turning onto the downhill we were fully exposed to a strong cross wind which made for a rather dodgy descent. It was like being shoulder jostled in an invisible peloton until we reached the shelter of the hedgerows further down. In a further route variation we then did a zig-zag to pass through Dalton Park Estate.

On reaching South Dalton it was back to our usual return route through Etton and Cherry Burton. It had been a superb roller coaster of a ride enjoyed by all despite the strong wind. 🎶How many hills can the knights climb, before they reach the sky? The answer my friend, is blowin in the wind 🎶

Eleven witches🧙‍♀️ and wizards🧙‍♂️ gathered at Market Cross for this Sunday’s ride to Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop. “Double double, toil and trouble….” and that’s just the route. “Is Grovehill Road open?” asked one wizard. Looking around at the sea of puzzled faces nobody knew definitively so Pugwash offered up an alternative way to reach Weel Bridge. Then at the “witching hour” we mounted our “broomsticks” and set off. “Follow Puggy” cried head wizard.

On passing the end of Grovehill Road there were no signs of closure but we kept going on the alternative mystery tour. Eventually we arrived at the “magic roundabout”. “Now I know where we are!” cried out one wizard. Progress to Tickton was fairly swift aided by a following wind.

Just as we approached the road crossing at Tickton, we caught up with “Gandalf” plodding slowly along the cycle path. Due to the amount of traffic we didn’t all manage to cross together. 🎶”Should I stay or should I go” 🎶 If we wait we’ll have pass “Gandalf” again, thought Mark as he continued along the cycle path pursued by Pugwash. “We can wait at Whitecross roundabout to regroup”.

The “coven” then continued through Leven and Brandesburton taking ‘spells’ on the front eventually taking the road to Dunnington. The pace remained quick until reaching Skipsea Brough where we then turned westwards and our first taste of headwinds through to Beeford. Turning off towards Foston-on-the-Wolds we had a brief respite from the wind.

When we reached the Frodingham Road the “coven” stopped to regroup, all except Mark who suddenly shot off towards Brigham. “Where’s he going?” we all asked. “Has he gone the wrong way?” “Perhaps he’s going to try the Brigham sprint”. It soon became clear as he rested his “broom” against a nearby tree. Meanwhile, Head Wizard suggested phoning the cafe when we reach Wansford and began a head count. “Why don’t you phone now?” suggested Head Witch followed by a chorus of “Yes Neil, why don’t you phone now? The Head Witch has spoken”. The “incantations” however fell on deaf ears as he shot off up the road.

After another brief pit stop at Wansford Bridge it was now full on into the wind as we continued to Skerne and Hutton Cranswick. “Did he call the cafe?” someone asked. Turns out four of the “coven” were not stopping.

After refuelling at the Farm Shop, the remaining seven set of to battle into the wind heading towards Bracken farm. Just as we reached Bracken top, there was a loud pop. “Oh oh, curses, PUNCTURE!” cried Mark. In effecting the repair he was ably assisted by Matthew and we were soon on our way again. However less than a mile further down the road once again “BANG phssst” was heard. “Double curses” wailed Mark as he pulled up to inspect the damage. “Looks like that hole in your tyre is the cause” we all suggested before adding “You’ll need a new tyre now but here’s a tyre patch to get you home”. “What!” cried Mark “I’m a Yorkshireman, there’s another 1000 miles in that tyre”.

Once on our way again, we continued battling into the wind as we followed our usual route home through Holme-on-the-Wolds to Etton and Cherry Burton.