:Surgeons on fire
After undertaking successful surgery on Captain Pugwash following his freak accident last week, Doctors Chad, Dave Wa, Dave Wi, Jenny, Michael and Sharrin choose to get away from the Market Cross hospital and take a relaxing ride to Hornsea. But what’s this? Stephen Powers has infiltrated surgeons corner on Slack and laid down the scalpel for the Hornsea and back in under two hours challenge. It’s windy. The surgeons are already knackered after putting the good captain back together. But Doctor Dave Wa and Doctor Dave Wi are amongst the peloton. This is going to be a quick procedure. But not painless….
Dr Michael is lucky to not find himself under the knife himself. Approaching his fellow surgeons at the Market Cross hospital rendezvous, a white van cuts him up. Dr Michael slams all on whilst simultaneously hurling out abuse to white van man. Mid-vitriol, he realises that WVM had the right of way after all and it was his own mistake. Profusely apologetic, Dr Michael is very lucky that his brakes were in good working order. Disaster averted and they’re off.
Wind in their favour, the six happy surgeons deliver a smooth operation. Little time for the usual Friday chit chat; the two hour challenge is clearly taking precedent. Luckily, the two most experienced practitioners are happy to share the brunt of the work, whilst Doctors Jenny, Chad, Michael and Sharrin gratefully tuck in behind. One or two expressions (from wife to husband) of dissatisfaction with the incessant pace does not go unnoticed. But does go ignored. Twenty’s plenty is clearly a mantra for another day.
The fast and furious 6 (copy-write Sharrin Powers) arrive in Hornsea with a dilemma. Which operation is most appropriate given the condition of the patients? Operation 1: Carry on back to MC hospital with no waiting room stop in a bravadorious (just made that word up) attempt to break the 2 hour challenge. Or Operation 2: Stop for a cup of tea and food. Doctor David Wi is outvoted by 5 surgeons to 1. Cafe stop it is. An array of delicious and nutritious offerings go under the surgeons’ knives. Beans on toast, cake, scones. Delicious.
Dr Michael enquires if the two hour challenge still applies if you pause your GARMIN stethoscopes whilst eating. The answer is somewhat ambiguous. Apparently It doesn’t count, but you can still do it. Doctor Dave Wa expresses his desire to take it nice and sedate on the way home, much to the chagrin of Doctor Wi, who will not give up on the sub-2-hours, even if it doesn’t count. The plan is that we all take turns at the front and if you’re utterly exhausted and can go no further, it doesn’t matter. Man (or Woman) up. Now that’s a plan!
Leaving the tranquility of Hornsea mere cafe, Dr Wa and Dr Wi quickly lead their more junior surgeons home. Doctors Jenny and Sharrin are close behind, with the relative newbies, Doctors Chad and Michael taking up the rear, with seemingly little appetite for moving up the chaingang of command. Approaching 25 MPH against the wind, this is just as well.
Doctor Chad is called in for an emergency in his home village of Leven and the remaining 5 surgeons take the cycle lane back to Beverley. Ably led by Doctor Sharrin, the wind has little detriment to speed as sub 3 minute mile follows sub 3 minute mile. Approaching Tickton and having taken a free ride for much of the route, Doctor Michael takes a token turn at the front.
We approach Beverley and check our respective stethoscopes. Doctor Dave Wi has 1 hour 45, Doctor Michael a somewhat contrived 1 hr 59 mins, 59 seconds and Doctor Dave Wa 2 hours 6 minutes. This not insignificant difference is the result of:a) Doctor Dave Wi switching on/off his stethoscope at the ‘stupid’ roundabout. b) Doctor Michael switching his device on at MC Hospital, pausing said device at Hornsea and deliberately keeping on pause until safely on the fast Bewholme road turnoffc) Doctor Dave Wa playing it by the medical book