“Shiver me timbers, it’s cold out there” thought Captain Pugwash as he arrived at Market Cross where ready, keen and waiting was the latest addition to the fleet, cabin boy Cueball Dave. A hardy looking soul judging by his choice of outfit. Next to join the assembly was quartermaster Brainfeeder Brian who’d never sneek up without being heard given the rattling noise made by his freewheeling cassette (or should that be castanets). Timing his arrival to the exact second was able seaman Paul Blackbeard. No doubt not wanting to hang around any longer than necessary before the fleet set off.

Today’s ride saw the fleet seeking the flavours of the east at the Hornsea Mere cafe. Taking the Weel road to Tickton the fleet cruised steadily with a fair wind in the sails. The sun shining, while extremely welcome, did not do much to raise the ambient temperature as it stubbornly hovered around 1-2°c.❄️

Sailing happily along the cycle path Brainfeeder came under attack by a barrage of thorns and suffered a breach in the hull. After careening his vessel it was time to effect some repairs. This was easier said than done. Despite all the videos showing how easy it is to remove a tyre, Brainfeeder struggled to carry out the said removal, eventually breaking his plastic “tyre lever” in the process. The look of horror on his face as Captain Pugwash offered metal levers was a picture to behold. “I can’t use those on my carbon rims! ” he exclaimed. Things always seem more difficult when there is an audience and you are trying to do the job as quickly as possible. When he’d eventually removed the tyre, it turned out the valve on his spare tube was the wrong size for the deep rims so now he needed to repair the damaged tube. On completion of repairs we were off again.

We did not get far before it became apparent the repairs had not been successful and Brainfeeder decided reluctantly to call time and return home to effect repairs in the warmth of his home. The now diminished fleet continued on to Long Riston and then headed for Great Hatfield. It was at this point that Captain Pugwash led the fleet astray, taking the wrong turn and ended up on the outskirts of Withernwick. Realising his mistake the fleet then changed track through Cowden before picking up the main coastal route to Hornsea.

Progress on the final leg was swift with a light breeze on the port quarter as Captain Pugwash led the way. We soon arrived at our designated anchorage at the Mere cafe where it was time to refuel. Just as we finished, the fleet Admiral arrived to inspect the colours and meet Cueball.

Our return route saw us passing the Honeysuckle Farm and on to Bewholme before turning back into the wind towards Catfoss and Brandesburton. Despite the head wind, a good pace was maintained with each taking turns on the front. On reaching Hull Bridge it was then time for each to head to their home port. An enjoyable ride with conditions slightly better than expected given the temperature.

You say windy, I say windy let’s not call the whole thing off. After a lot of humming and heying and hedging bets, we saw six Knights turn out at Market Cross. Pugwash was adopted as route master for the day after suggesting the Spotted Duck cafe as the destination, and he was the only one with a sextant!

Starting at the later time of 0945 to allow for Jim to join us put AndyS in a stew as he missed the message and waited in the cold from 0930. Seems like Jim is now in cahoots with Raymond to sow confusion. “It’s windy today” said Matt, “I thought it was Thursday” said Jim. “So am I, let’s have a cup of tea” responded AndyS. With that it was time to set off.

Our route saw us take the Weel road out to Tickton, much to the chagrin of AndyG who’d just battled his way from there against the wind in order to join us at Market Cross. At least the return was a lot easier as we cruised our way along with the wind assisting. At Routh we headed south towards Meaux.

As we twisted and wound our way along, the wind generally assisted but occasionally hindered until reaching the road to Benningholme. Then it was full gas as we breezed along. Speaking of gas, comedian Matt insinuated that Pugwash had added to the breeze by adding some odious gas. The proximity of the local pig farm had nothing to do with it he said.

From Skirlaugh we headed for Old Ellerby and passed Burton Constable. On reaching Moor Lane, the wind turned on the beam giving us a very strong broadside making it difficult to stay upright. Visions of our return journey began to sink in. The sextant worked well as we soon found out destination without hesitation or deviation.

Matt’s usual sugary laden latte was not on offer today so opted for the equally calorie laden milk shake. This poor example influenced Paul who chose the same. Unfortunately (for them) they both appeared disappointed with said choices. The rest of the fare however went down very well.

The navigationally challenged guy in the black top offered to lead the way back but was unanimously outvoted as we did not want to end up in Howden. Following the same road back till reaching Pasture Lane we then headed round the west side of Burton Constable.

The proposed chain gang for the return, did not work as envisioned as we virtually split into two groups before coming together again at Routh. The dreaded head wind took its toll but did not seem as bad as feared due to the twists and turns in the road and some shelter from roadside hedges.

Grey skies and cold air did not prevent a good turn out for Friday’s ride. Eleven Knights turned out at Market Cross, including one newbie. Oh no not another David! Nickname will be required if he signs up. At least he will help to lower the average age of the club! In the absence of our esteemed Friday route master, the destination of Millington was proposed by Rear-admiral Heather.

Our starting time 0945 was slightly later than normal. I’m sure our route master is trying his best to keep us on ours toes with all the recent changes to meeting points and times. No one fancied the climb over the Westwood and instead opted to head out to Cherry Burton along the slightly easier Molescroft road. We had not been going very long when a lorry pulled up to the side of the road in front of us. Whether by design or just blind ignorance, the driver opened his door and jumped out just as our group were passing, forcing the leading riders to take emergency avoiding action and in the process very nearly causing those behind into a pile up. A few choice words were exchanged before continuing on our way.

After clearing Molescroft we headed onto the cycle path to Cherry Burton, except for Jim who followed his own script and stayed on the road. At Cherry, we were joined by Dave and Jenny bringing our numbers up to 13. Hope no one was superstitious. The group were soon strung out with Mike setting the early pace as we headed to Etton and onwards through South Dalton and Home-on-the-Wolds.

After regrouping we were off again. Unfortunately Leslie had to leave for an early bath and returned via Kiplingcotes while the rest of us continued to Middleton-on-the-Wolds. Next up was the relentless climb through North Dalton and up to Huggate. It was here that lack of match fitness began to take its toll on those who have not been out regularly or those who are gravitationally challenged.

On reaching Huggate, Alan decided to return home via Tibthorpe. Must have balked at the prospect of tackling Nunburnholme Hill with his single gear bike set up. Once we were all together again, it was breeze along Millington Dale. As we were cruising along, we came upon a pheasant shoot with a number of the “tweed set” giving both barrels to the the poor unfortunate creatures. “Time for the tin hats Mr Mannering” as the birds came tumbling to ground all around us.

The Ramblers Rest cafe was a welcome sight, as was the warmth of the fire as we placed our orders. In fact the fire was so comfortable that there was some reluctance to leave.

A quick vote (or a Straw poll as some might say) ruled out returning via Nunburnholme Hill, instead heading for Burnby then Londesborough before tackling Intake hill and on to Market Weighton. We then followed our normal route back to Etton and Cherry Burton. Heading along the Kiplingcotes road to the top of Etton ramp a mini sprint ensued between the front runners, Steve, Pugwash and Mike. With a tremendous final burst of acceleration, kudos went to Ironman Mike.

A superb ride with enough hills to suit a mountain goat, but I’m sure there were a few tired legs by the time we reached home.

Six Knights assembled at Market Cross before setting off over the Westwood to meet up with another four at Manor House. Today’s route was proposed by Heather, however the North Dalton proposal was kicked into touch as a step too far for a cold winter’s day, instead we decided to follow a similar route to Friday’s ride but with a few variations thrown in.

The hunt set off towards Cherry Burton and Etton under a dull grey sky. The scent led us on to South Dalton where the first quarry was spotted darting up the hill towards the church. The chase was on, as the lead group soon ran the three foxes down, leaving them trailing in their wake. The burst of pace however caused a split in the hunt so a re-mustering was required at Holme-on-the-Wolds.

It was during this brief stop that the three foxes passed by again with a cheery hello. Never let it be said that cyclists are not competitive, as Jim replied with “We’ll get you again”. When we were all together, it was off on the chase once more. The leading group eventually passing the three foxes from Brough on the long climb towards Goodmanham however the pace again causing a spilt, forcing another stop at the junction to Enthorpe where the foxes passed by a second time eventually giving the hunt the slip as they went to ground at the Fiddle Drill.

After passing through Market Weighton, it was onto the Cliffe Road when another fox was spotted. This time wearing a Cliff-Pratt racing shirt. It was just too much for Brett who set off in hot pursuit hoping to gain some kudos with the catch. Tucking in behind him were Andy, Pugwash and Heather who managed to cling onto Brett’s wheel until one by one dropped off the pace. Brett did eventually make the catch before turning off onto Common Hill.

At the top of the hill, Heather used the regrouping as an opportunity to investigate what was rubbing on her wheel. While we waited for the tail enders to catch up, however it seems they did not read the script and missed the turning and continued on to North Cave before heading for Hotham. Realising the error of their ways, we soon received a message from Matt saying they’d meet us at the cafe.

Next challenge for the depleted hunt was the climb up Trundlegate and a chance for Jim to show age is no barrier as he posted the 3rd best time of the day on Strava for the full climb.

After the final regrouping at High Hunsley it was nearly all downhill to Little Weighton where we were briefly held up by a tractor who’d slowed down while passing a group of horses in a nearby courtyard. The sight of the Folly Lake café was welcome, as hunger and cold needed to be assuaged. The tail enders joined shortly after as we settled down for refreshments before the final journey home.

There was sunshine ☀️ after the rain ☔ so the song says and so it proved. Wet roads and bright sun greeted the seven dwarfs at the later starting time of 10am. Sneezy suggested heading out to Newbald and……. (atishoo) Hotham then North Cave, South Cave with cafe stop in Little……. (atishoo) Weighton.

Following our usual route over the Westwood the initial pace was taken up by Bashful until the slope headed skywards allowing Dopey to take to the front. His turn was short lived though as first Doc closely followed by Happy squeezed past to create a mini breakaway.

The merry band regrouped at Manor House before Dopey resumed the lead on the road up to Newbald. Bashful having overcome his initial shyness, headed to the front again accompanied by Doc, Happy and Sleepy as we cruised down into Newbald. Tis the season to be jolly or so it appeared as we came across a running group all dressed up in ?Santa outfits?. Must have been elves in training!

Sleepy leading the one man breakaway

The peloton featuring, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, Doc & Dopey, 

The dwarves continued on to South Newbald where the discussion turned again to the cafe stop. Sleepy suggested an alternative which had been spotted on previous rides where a large sign welcoming cyclists had been displayed. As we would be passing anyway it was decided to give it a try. 

On the way to Hotham, Grumpy started flapping his wings to indicate he was stopping, unfortunately the road at this point was covered in previously unnoticed sheet ice ❄️causing Dopey to hit the deck. Dopey can confirm Mathew’s assertion that the road is quite hard if you hit it. No damage done though, only to his pride.

After passing through Hotham, we entered the park estate leading to North Cave where we were greeted by the sound of church bells ringing out from All Saints⛪. Our souls being more in need of physical sustenance rather than of the spiritual kind, we ignored the call to prayer and continued on to South Cave.

Our destination was soon on the horizon. Situated next to the car and van hire was a furniture and antique shop recently converted to include a café, along with ample bike parking outside. Together with another cycling group from Cottingham we almost filled the place. With some rather tempting things on the menu it may be a place to come back to without the bike. Most of us settled for the usual light bites with the exception of Doc who opted for the pancake stack. Dinner table chat covered the potential sections for next year’s sprint and King of the mountains and other prizes. However it was soon time to move on before we were mistaken for antiques and put into the storage hall.

The return route saw the happy band heading through South Cave before tackling the Beverley “clump”. The pancake stack did not seem to harm Doc as he made the best time to the top, just goes to show why he won the “Spotty Pants” award 2018. After all that effort it was time for the reward with a long downhill sweep on Comberdale Hill and Bluestone Bottoms. The final leg on the way home taking us to Walkington and back to Beverley. 

Eight hardy souls turned out to make the most of the benign winter weather and to work off some calories before the big Xmas party bash. A slight change to the normal start point with everyone meeting at Manor House. 

The lure of the caveman breakfast at Driffield proved a draw for some as the preferred choice of cafe stop. We set off towards Cherry Burton at a rather cautious pace owing to the damp and chilly conditions.

With no sign of ice, the pace began to pick up as we made our way through Etton and on to South Dalton. A quick stop along Mere Lane we took a show of hands to confirm the choice of cafe before continuing onwards to Hutton Cranswick. Even the lure of a nice warm log burner at TJs was not enough to deter the group from their chosen destination.

It proved a turning point for Steve as he left the group to return home while the remaining seven carried on through Cranswick to Skerne. Another brief stop at Bellsmill gave us a chance to phone ahead with the food order. No takers for the caveman breakfast on this occasion though. With bacon sandwiches or egg on toast it was more like caveman lite!

Suitably refreshed it was time to return home, but not before Heather ran back into the shop to rescue Neil before he did too much damage to his credit card. Our return route saw us retracing our steps (almost) to Etton where Mike left the group to take the main road home while the rest of us took the usual road back to Manor House and home. 

Six members of the select Committee met at Market Cross on a bright sunny but cold morning. Mother Theresa had suggested we follow her Beverley-Routh-Exit plan, which would lead eventually to Burton Constable. Last to arrive on the scene was “See You Jimmy”, SNP representative for Beverley South & East, still sporting the after effects of his last bruising encounter. Boris was quick to take the lead as we headed along Hengate and on to Norwood.

Progress was smooth as the members all towed the line to the Swinemoor roundabout, leading to the Tickton cycle path. Waiting in the wings near Tickton Grange was Jeremy, the right honorable member for Tickton South, keen as mustard and ready to join the delegation as we continued onwards to Routh. Heading south towards Meaux the pace remained steady as Nigel, UKIP member for Keldgate and Lord Such, member for Molescroft assisted Boris and Theresa at the front. Turning onto Kidhill Lane caution was the watch word, especially on corners, in case of any residual ice.

After Skirlaugh, Nigel was given an encouraging “toot” from a passing lorry just before we left the main road heading for Old Ellerby. Vince Cable almost missed the next turn off, but a shout from the rest of the steering committee had him back on track. Part way along this section, Boris rode ahead to set up a photo opportunity as the group passed by.

On reaching the next junction by St James Church at Old Ellerby, there was dissention in the ranks, as some turned to the right, until Jeremy dragged everyone back to the left. 

Arriving at Burton Constable, Boris with his usual panache was soon to discover the intransigence of the establishment as he tried to get access to the rear, through the shop. Angela Merkel confronted him saying “ze back door ist nein negotiable”, before turning on some Gallic charm and continuing “however, si vous avez beaucoup de change, you can take a seat on our gravy train”

The seven members gathered appropriately around table 7 to enjoy the hospitality on offer. Bacon sandwiches a popular choice once again.

All too soon, it was time to return. Fortunately the temperature outside had climbed marginally making the journey back to Beverley a little more pleasant. From Sproatley we took the Park road behind Burton Constable leading to Coniston and Swine before retracing our steps to Tickton. At this point the members returned to their constituencies to recommend this ride to their supporters.