Our Easter Sunday ride turned out to be quite the adventure for our gang of gallant riders. Led by our imaginative Route Master Michael, stepping into the breach in place of our intrepid leader. The group consisted of Michael, Puggy, Paul, Andy, Zog, James, Iain and rare appearance of Brian in summer shorts despite the slight chill in the air. The proposed route took in Middlehowe Road, North Newbald, Hotham, North Cave, Broomfleet, and Ellerker Garden centre for a cafe stop returning via Melton, Raywell, Cottingham and Dunswell. Well it would have been if the cafe was open. Various suggestions for alternative destinations were discussed but no decisions were forthcoming, so we set off to follow the planned route and make it up ‘on the hoof’.

The first part of the plan went well with a pacy ride. We soon found ourselves approaching Ellerker. “Now where do we go?” we all asked looking pointedly at Michael. “A pub?” suggested Puggy wistfully. “Only if they’re serving food!” retorted Michael, piercing the encouraging look which had appeared on Iain’s face at the thought of a pint of ‘nectar’. Revising our plan we steered ourselves towards South Cave with the hope that the Zoom cafe would be open, “If not, there is garden centre across the road” suggested Zog. While making our way through South Cave, heads turned to check out the Westend cafe in the forlorn hope of some refreshment….. closed! Arriving at the Zoom cafe the place was completely deserted with nothing but dust blowing in the slight breeze.

Pulling up at the South Cave Plant Centre we found the doors were also locked. Our spirts threatened to falter, but hope was still in sight, as we were given word from a passer-by that the “Butty Bus” at North Cave Wetlands was open. Undaunted by our lack of success we bravely set off towards the Wetlands returning to the road we’d just left half an hour previously. At this point Paul, Brian and Andy left the group to return directly home via Hotham while the remaining four went in search of some much needed sustenance.

While we were being served, the “Butty” lady commented that she’d had a lot of cyclists calling in today. “Is it because we are the only place open?” she asked with a happy smile. Not wishing to intimate the thought that the Butty Bus was the ‘last chance saloon’ James thinking quickly added “We do come here when it’s a bit warmer”. Having consumed our lovely hot sandwiches thoughts turned to how we get home from here. “How about heading to Sancton then up the hill to Kiplingcotes?” suggested Michael. “Sounds like a good plan” we all agreed.

As we mounted up the ‘Butty Lady’ cheerily wished us a “Safe journey home”. Setting off along the Cliffe Road with the wind at our backs, the pace picked up. I’m sure at one point Michael and Zog indulged in a little friendly ‘head-to-head’ with James tucking in as well leaving Pugwash and Iain vainly trying to keep up. “That was quite fast” commented Iain breathlessly as we regrouped.

When we reached Sancton, Zog decided to part ways and head home into the wind while the remaining four set off uphill towards Kiplingcotes and finally back home via Etton and Cherry Burton.Though the day had not gone entirely as planned, the challenges and camaraderie only made the journey all the more memorable.

“East is East and West is West” said Raymond quoting Rudyard Kipling, before asking “but which one is best?”. “Meet at Market Cross 0930, text back if you’re up for it”. As the replies came rolling in there was still no answer to his question until AndyG chipped in with “Well if you’re coming east I’ll meet you at Tickton”. That was enough to sway the balance as Ray went on to outline the route for the day.

“East it is then. Usual route to Farm Shop, Leven, Brandesburton, Dunswell, Beeford, Foston etc” he said. “DUNSWELL!!??” we all thought. Fortunately we all knew he meant Dunnington.

The day dawned feeling like a lovely spring morning, leaving many of us wondering if we’d overdressed. As the we gathered at Market Cross there was an atmosphere of “Cheltenham Races” with two groups of cyclists meeting up in the “paddock”, the “Fillies” of Women on Wheels and the “Colts” from Beverley Knights. When the “appointed” hour arrived, “What time are you leaving?” asked one inquisitive filly followed by “Which way are you going?” “OK Ok we’re going, come on Iain! Pay attention!” “Beasts before Beauty”.

Ten Knights set off towards Weel Bridge along Grovehill Road. Splits in the group soon appeared as some managed to pass the various traffic lights while others got held up. “Regroup at Tickton” we suggested. Just as we were passing the Crown & Anchor we spotted the leading group of “fillies” coming over the Hull bridge. Our “field” was increased at Tickton as we were joined by an additional five Knights. As we mulled around “waiting for the starter” to resume proceedings, the “WOW group” were spotted crossing the road coming toward us. “Come on guys, better get going before those Fillies arrive”.

“And we’re off!” First up was a gentle “canter” along the cycle path to Whitecross roundabout then a “gallop” along the “Leven straight” followed by the “Brandesburton Sprint”. When we turned onto the Catfoss Road there was a call for a “Stewards Inquiry”. “Better call the Farm Shop and book our place” said veteran jockey Raymond. As Matt “did the honours” the rest of the group continued onwards.

The “tail enders” then galloped on to catch the rest of the “field” as they headed for Dunswell…… oops I mean Dunnington. When the “race” reached the “outward turn” at Skipsea Brough the “going” got a little “heavier” as the wind was now in our face. The “field” then continued at a “breeze” along the “back straight” through Beeford then trading the turn to Foston-on-the-Wolds.

When we’d all regrouped at the Driffield road junction the “clerk of the course” decided to split the “field” in two groups. “We’ve only got 20 minutes to make our booking time” cried “Flash”. The first group set off on a “strong gallop” to Wansford and Skerne led mainly by the “in form” Colin while the rest tried valiantly to hang onto his tail.

Following a short break at Cranswick Farm Shop it was time for the “home stretch”. The first section took us along Burnbutts lane and onto Bracken lane where once again we split into two groups. After the mostly “flat racing” it was time to add in a few “jumps” in the form of South Dalton Ramp, Etton ramp and everyones favourite Granny’s Hump. With the final “furlong” in sight the “field” reduced as each rider headed for their own “stable”.

“Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Let’s bring this meeting to order!” cried chairman Neil. “Today’s agenda is a ride to Langlands Garden centre at Shiptonthorpe. Meet at Walkington Pond 0945, out via North Newbald, Hotham, South Cliffe, Market Weighton to Langlands. All in agreement say Aye!”

As hands started to be raised in favour, one dissenter cried out “Point of order! The weather forecast is showing 70% chance of rain 🌧️ and only 4-5°C 🥶 so it’s a Nay from me”. Not sure which forecast he was looking at but it prompted a comment from another member questioning whether his sanity had been affected by the sun on a recent holiday. 🤔 In the end six Knights turned up to brave the cold air.

Just as we were beginning to climb our way along Middlehowe Road, Michael noted a problem with Heather’s rear……. mudguard that is. Seems it had snapped in two pieces so to be on the safe side it was better to remove it entirely. “I’m taking that back to the shop for a refund” uttered Neil expectantly hopeful.

On reaching the junction at the north end of Middlehowe Road, Neil stopped to look for a “pond” in the Memorial wood, obviously fed up with all the ridicule heaped in his direction for his constant mentioning of the “memorial pond”. After trudging through the wood the only thing he found was a muddy pit. As we got set to continue, someone asked “Which way are we going now? Straight on or to the right?” “Let’s put it to the vote. Who wants to go right?” asked Neil raising his hand hopefully. Unfortunately for him the “motion” was defeated by 5-1 so we continued along Littlewood Road to High Hunsley.

On reaching the next junction it was time for another vote. “Straight on down Trundlegate or right to North Newbald?” “Ooh! I’ve never been down Trundlegate” said Graham, however on this occasion the “motion” for North Newbald was carried unanimously. Heading directly into the cold westerly wind we plummeted to the bottom. By the time we turned to South Newbald our faces had assumed a style of “rigor mortis” due to a combination of speed of descent and the cold. From there, we made our way across to Hotham.

Setting off along the Cliffe Road, Michael took up the “chair” position. “Are we turning left somewhere?” he asked. “No, all the way to Market Weighton”. The “chain gang” didn’t quite work textbook style but as each took a turn in the “chair”, we soon reached the junction to Giant Bradley Way. Heather, displaying a momentary lapse in the navigation department, was about to turn left onto the main carriageway before shouts from the others put her back on the “right path”. Thereafter it was a short hop through Market Weighton to Langlands.

On arrival at the cafe, we were just “parking” our bikes in the outside seating area when an assistant came to advise us “You can’t be in this area, it’s dangerous” pointing to the partially collapsed wall. “But we’re only leaving our bikes” we insisted. Eventually Common sense prevailed. After a brief “lunch break” it was back to “business”. The next item on the “agenda” was the return journey. The first proposal was back through Goodmanham to Holme-on-the-Wolds while the second option was via Kiplingcotes. When Option 1 was “passed” unanimously, “I love democracy” declared Michael enthusiastically. Great when things go the way you want!

After negotiating our way back to Market Weighton we turned onto the Londesborough road. At this point chairman Neil, still recovering from a bout of lurgy, decided to take the easier “option 2” route home at his own pace. “I’ll meet you again at Etton” he advised. The first major climb of the day came as we passed through Goodmanham rising around 85m over 4.8km giving a good test of lungs and legs. Over the top and there was a chance for recovery as we headed downhill to the Middleton road.

Turning towards Holme-on-the-Wolds what little wind there was now came from behind making progress relatively swift. On the next “leg” we headed downhill once again through South Dalton. Just as we were building up momentum to tackle Dalton ramp, a car on the road ahead decided to stop in the middle until realising we were fast approaching before edging over to the side leaving just enough room for us to squeeze. Despite the interference, Michael was not to be outdone and proceeded to wind up the big gear racing to the top with the best time of the day.

True to his word, chairman Neil was waiting at the top of Etton ramp like David Bailey camera in hand. “There’s only six minutes difference in the routes” he declared as he rejoined us for the final “item on the agenda”. The route home, taking us from Etton through Cherry Burton and everyone’s favourite hill sprint of “Granny’s Hump”. As the meeting drew to a close, the AOB item consisted mainly of the expected weather forecast for the next week or two, leaving the date for our next meeting open.

The “troops” gathered on the “parade ground” outside the Light Dragoon at Etton. The sun was shining and all was well with the world as we watched and waved to the many passing cyclists while waiting for the “roll call”. Today’s “action” would take place at the Farm Shop at Hutton Cranswick. “Before we set off” uttered Lord of the Cardigan “I have a confession to make….. I don’t have any mudguards today” he explained. A look of utter disbelief crept onto the face of Michael who had finally managed (after much cajoling) to arrive with mudguards attached. “AND the roads are wet!” he exclaimed indignantly.

“The table is booked for 11.30am” advised Cardigan “.. so no hanging around”. Setting off along Etton main street our platoon were immediately “bombarded with light flak” from the westerly wind. The blasts continued to hamper our progress as we “ducked and dived” our way through Kiplingcotes to Market Weighton, occasionally “taking cover” at the side of the road to allow some “enemy tanks” to pass.

At Market Weighton the reinforcements arrived in the form of Zog. “Wow another one ‘sans’ mudguard” observed Michael. “I’ll form the rearguard then shall I?”. The next stage of the “battle” was a long upwards slog. Starting with Intake Hill then onwards to the top of Nunburnholme. Not an overly steep climb but doesn’t it just “drag…oon”.

At the top, we took a chance for a brief respite to regroup. “We should have the wind behind us now… ” advised Lord of the Cardigan “and we’ve got 50 minutes to get there.. 49….48” he counted down as Heather vainly tried to get a photograph of us all before the platoon charged off. Taking no prisoners, Lord of the Cardigan led from the front ably assisted by Michael and James. By the time the platoon reached Dalton Dale the charge had turned into a full on gallop taking us through North Dalton and Bainton and onto Neswick Lane. At this point the platoon split into two with the “vanguard” heading through Southburn and Hutton while the “rearguard” took to Burnbutts Lane attacking the Farm shop from two sides. Our mission was accomplished with a few minutes to spare.

On the return journey it was straight back into the wind once more. As the platoon pushed forward, Pugwash began struggling at the back dropping further and further away. “Wow I must have used all my ammo in the earlier charge” he thought “why is this such hard work?”. When we’d regrouped someone spotted that there was a problem with my mudguard. The anchor point had come loose allowing it to rotate round the wheel and drag on the ground. “No wonder it was so difficult” said Pugwash as he rotated it back into position. Unfortunately it refused to remain in place and when a little further along the road at the top of Bracken it was necessary to make a better “fix”. Huge kudos to both Neil and James for the assistance which got me home.

The remainder of the journey followed our usual route back through South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton.

The “teams” gathered round the Market Cross for this year’s biennial “Rider Cup”. While the “players” milled about waiting for their introduction to the “first tee” it was over to the “Starter” to get proceedings underway. “Starter! Oh where’s the starter?” we all cried. The “players” looked around at each other puzzled, “Are we sure he’s meeting us on the first tee?” A quick check on “slack” to make sure there was no last minute change of message showed nothing. “Well the ‘match’ always starts on time” suggested one competitor. Just as we were “daring” to set off without him, a breathless “Starter” hove into view. “Sorry, sorry” he implored “I had a puncture on the way in”. “You did well to get here then” suggested one competitor. “Not really” replied the starter “I was close enough to home to return and collect another bike”.

The “first hole” was a tricky par four where the competitors had to negotiate a number of dog-legs on the way to the “green” at the ‘magic roundabout’. The “second hole” was a long part five heading over the “famous” Weel Bridge towards Tickton. Along the way there were a number of “bunkers” to avoid. The “home side” took advantage of their local knowledge and raced into an early lead.

On reaching the “par three third” we came across an “injured spectator” trying to repair a puncture. After lending a hand, the “match” continued. Several competitors went “out of bounds” ignoring the “no cycles” sign as we all crossed the busy main road at Tickton.

Next up was the “par five fourth” leading to White Cross roundabout. A long straight forward “fairway” with a few minor obstacles to negotiate. On reaching the “green” there was no sign of the “back markers”. Turned out that one competitor had trouble with his “buggy” when the chain came off.

The “fifth hole” was a long “par four” with a few doglegs leading through Leven and Brandesburton. The “home” team continued to press their advantage opening an even bigger gap while the “away team” got bogged down by “spectators” at the Brandesburton roundabout.

The “sixth hole” was a short “par three” along the Bridlington road to the Catfoss junction where once again several competitors went “out of bounds” slicing the wrong side of the “Keep Left” dividing markers. Perhaps they were hoping to make up some ground on the “home team”.

The “seventh hole” was another long “par four” over a beautifully laid out “fairway” leading to Dunnington. Unfortunately there was a “temporary” green in place here forcing the “players” to take a short run along the main road to Beeford.

The “eighth hole” was another long “par five” with doglegs through Foston-on-the-Wolds eventually reaching Wansford. Along the way the various “competitors” jockeyed for position as each headed to the front for brief periods.

The final “hole” before the “halfway house” was the “par four ninth” leading through Skerne and into Hutton Cranswick. It was made even longer by the fact that the “teams” were now “driving” into the wind. The sight of the Farm Shop was therefore welcome and a chance to take on some refreshments. At this point the “home team” had a small advantage.

The “second nine” would prove somewhat more difficult as the “teams” continued to battle against the wind. The “tenth” was a standard “par four” with doglegs across open ground leading to the top of Bracken hill. The “eleventh hole” was relatively easy downhill “par three” through Bracken farm.

The “twelfth hole” was a straight up “par four” leading the teams south along Bracken lane to the “par three thirteenth” which consisted of a short “drive” to South Dalton. The “fourteenth hole” in contrast to the previous sections of the “course” was rather hilly. The “drive from the tee” was initially downhill followed by a short steep ramp before a final drop to the “green” at Etton.

The easy short “par three fifteenth” gave the players a brief respite from the head winds as the “fairway” led through Etton village. The “par four sixteenth” began another hilly section as the “players” faced the ramp up to Rootas Lane followed by a second bump over the old railway bridge before arriving at Cherry Burton.

The “seventeenth hole” was another hilly “par four” featuring “Amen Corner” (aka Granny’s Hump) so called for the number of players who offer up a prayer on reaching the top, usually in the form of “I hate that Hill”. The “final hole” was a dogleg “par four” leading along Finchcroft Road then back to the clubhouse. At the end of a closely fought contest the “honours” were even with both “sides” having enjoyed a wonderful day despite the cool winds.

SUNDAY 29th JANUARY

Sunday saw five Knights venturing out to the east coast for a ride to Hornsea. With a wind from the west-south-west progress was brisk as we headed to Leven, Brandesburton, North Frodingham, Beeford and Bewholme before arriving at the Mere Cafe in Hornsea.

The return journey however was a very different affair, “battling” our way back into a head wind, passing through Great Hatfield, Long Riston then over the exposed road of Kidhill Lane before returning to Routh and home.

TUESDAY 31st JANUARY

Seven (fool)hardy souls decided to risk the even stronger winds now blowing from the west at 20mph. A short hop to the Farm Shop cafe at Hutton Cranswick was proposed. Getting there was the “easy” bit with the wind mostly from the side but some shelter from roadside hedges until reaching Bracken.

By the time we’d left the cafe, the wind was beginning to gust up to gale force. Retracing our route back over Bracken we were exposed to the full brunt of the wind. Riding directly into such a strong wind was akin to wading through treacle (though not as sweet)! On turning the first corner the wind suddenly was now on the side making it extremely difficult to stay upright and in a straight line. At this point two of our group abandoned and took the train home from Cranswick. The remaining five continued slowly back.

FRIDAY 3rd FEBRUARY

Twelve Knights set off from Market Cross for Ray’s presentation ride, “Blowin’ in the Wind” he called it. An apt and “Fitling” title as the westerly winds continued to blow at a “gentle breeze”. Our destination was the Spotted Duck cafe at Fitling giving a flat ride of around 45 miles. Progress there was relatively easy with the wind helping most of the way. Unfortunately four of our group suffered punctures, one on the way out and three on the way back.

After weeks of sub-zero temperatures, the “bears” emerged from their virtual hibernation feeling somewhat hungry for action. Daddy Bear roared out the rallying cry. “Anyone out this Friday?” he asked. It was not long before the responses came. Like snowdrops poking their heads from the wintery ground a chorus of replies rang out “I’m coming out!”, “Me too!”, “And me!” until we had a sloth of nine bears.

Gathering at Manor House, the bears milled around checking their winter coats, scratching backs and comparing appendages…….. on the end of their mudguards. “Pooh! Was that you?” cried one bear. Establishing some sense of order Daddy Bear called out “Right you cubs, there is a good food source at Goodmanham. Let’s get on the road”.

Setting off towards Newbald the bears “shuffled, walked and ran” up hill and down Dale until reaching the junction at Stoneknowle hill where they all regrouped.

Following a brief recovery it was time to head for the dizzying heights of High Gardham. After “clawing” their way to the top the “bears” were treated for their efforts with lovely long descent to Low Gardham leading to a flat section towards Etton. Such joy was short lived though as the “bears” turned uphill to the “spire in the sky” that is South Dalton Church a beacon standing visible for miles around.

Continuing upwards, the “bears” arrived at Holme-on-the-Wolds before turning west on the Middleton road. Hunger pangs started to take effect as the “bears” began to sniff the air for the scent of food. The next leg of the journey took us back south towards Kiplingcotes before heading back uphill on the Kiplingcotes Race Course road then “galloped” down to Goodmanham.

While the “bears” filled their stomachs, Daddy Bear outlined the route back to the “den”. “If anyone is time pressed they can find their own way back” he suggested. Then after trying to outline what sounded like a long and winding road home, a chorus of “bears” cried out mockingly “Oh, I think I need to be home early!”

Fully sated, the “bears” were once again on the move. Heading firstly back along Cross Gate towards Middleton Road and then retracing their “steps” back to Holme-on-the-Wolds. The final leg took us back through Etton and Cherry Burton before returning home for a well earned afternoon nap.