The rallying cry went up from St George for volunteers to ride out and hunt for a “Dragon” said to be devouring everything in its path and leaving pestilence and devastation sweeping the countryside in its wake. Within hours we had sixteen gallant Knights “booted and spurred” ready for the challenge.

Overwhelmed by the response, St George was all a fluster. “I’ll get back to you with a plan” he said “I’ve been busy all day”. Later, fortified by a hearty meal (and possibly a glass of wine) he formulated a plan. Splitting our numbers into three groups, we had the “Cornettos” as the advance scouts followed by the “Cappuccinos” and leading from the rear the “Gruppetto”.

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Setting off at five minute intervals from Manor House, the Knights gee’d their steeds in the direction of Newbald. The sun shone brightly but the air remained cool so it was interesting noting the choice of “armour” with many Knights opting to go without “vambrace” and “greaves”. The Cappuccinos consisted of Pugwash, Matt, Heather, Colin and Andy G. Making our way through Hotham we caught our first glimpse of the Cornettos.

After waiting a few minutes at the bottom of Common Hill to reestablish a suitable gap, we continued to North Cliffe. Keeping the Cornettos in sight ahead, we passed through Harswell, Everingham and Bielby. Soon after that, the Cornettos split with Steve G, Chris Shep and Sharrin heading home, leaving Mark and Karl as the sole scouts. A swift effort from Matt made “the catch” as we turned onto the main road leading to Allerthorpe. The “venom spewing dragon” was reported to be living in a nearby lake demanding to be fed sausage rolls.

Mark was one of the first on scene. “Right where do we get service?” he enquired, completely missing the massive sign saying “ENTRANCE” by the nearest door. Sympathy was in short supply as everyone ribbed him terribly for his observational skills. Matt had just polished off his sausage roll when St George arrived. “I hope you’ve left me some sausage rolls” he glared directly at Matt only to appear a few minutes later “armed” with a bacon and egg roll.

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With no sign of the “Dragon” and the only hungry things in the lake being some massive carp, we decided to take our leave and head for home. The two groups headed for Pocklington then Burnby where we had to “negotiate” our way passed the ongoing roadworks. On reaching our turn off to Londesborough we found the road closed. Faced with the prospect of continuing upwards to Nunburnholme top, Mark went over to speak with one of the workmen to see if we could safely pass through.

Obviously “safely” is a relative term as we found ourselves heading off road to get round work vehicles parked across the road. Shortly after passing the closed section we faced the short sharp ramp. It was just then that the “Dragon” decided it’d had enough being chased and decided to throw a spanner in the works. With an ugly crunching noise Matt ground to a halt to find his front derailleur completely buckled. After a few adjustments, he was able to limp home running on single gear.

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From Londesborough we headed towards Market Weighton and Goodmanham. While running along the Spring Road the “Dragon” struck again. This time it was Colin’s turn as he suffered a puncture. While he effected the repair, the rest of us hung around watching a buzzard circling overhead, or was it a Kite?

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The rest of the ride fortunately passed without incident as we headed home through Etton and Cherry Burton to end another great adventure. Perfect weather, sun and light winds, lovely route and great company. What more could we want?

No, not the colourful little things with wings 🐝, but the Blues of Beverley Knights buzzed round Beverley, Brandesburton, Bewholme, Beeford, Bainton, Bishop Burton. Two groups assembled at Market Cross with James G, Paul, Mark and Brian making up the “Advance” group. In the “Rear Echelon” we had Neil, Heather, Mike, Matt, Colin and Pugwash.

The “Advance” group set off at 0930 while the “Rear Echelon” waited a few minutes for the rest to arrive. When I say “rest”, I meant Mike, who managed to avoid the photo opportunity. Perhaps he’s camera 📸 shy or he wants to lay claim to Colin’s “Last Minute” title.😉

Setting off through town towards Weel Bridge, Matt took up the early pace setting duty alternating with Pugwash as we headed through Tickton and along the cycle path to Whitecross roundabout and on to Brandesburton. Once onto the nice new road surface heading to Bewholme, Mike then “took up the cudgels” as we proceeded to Skipsea Brough (I knew there was another “B” somewhere).

At Beeford, it took some time to cross the Bridlington road with an almost constant stream of traffic. Eventually we arrived at North Frodingham where Mike left the group to return home while the rest continued to Wansford. Suddenly in the distance we spotted a “swarm” of Blues. Surely we hadn’t “caught” the “Advance” group? The final catch occurred when they had to stop for the traffic lights at Wansford Bridge. Their excuse was the extra distance (1 mile) ridden as they had passed through Foston-on-the-Wolds on the way to Wansford. 😁

When the lights changed, the “Rear Echelon” decided to “let” the Advance group take the lead once more. Continuing along the road through Skerne to Cranswick we kept the Advance group in our sights. Heather took to the front at this point and head down appeared determined to catch up again. Matt had similar ideas, hoping to overtake and arrive first at the cafe. The two groups however, did come together once more as we had to wait at the railway crossing in Cranswick for a train 🚃 to pass.

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After a pleasant sunny lunch break, it was time to hit the road once more. The “B” team with Neil, Heather and Colin decided to take the direct route home via Bracken while the new “A” team followed the original plan to Bainton. Crossing the B1248 at Bainton proved difficult as we encountered another almost nonstop flow of traffic. Four of our team managed to find a gap but Paul and Pugwash missed the chance and had to wait for what felt like hours (well, a number of minutes) before another safe opportunity.

Thus far, our ride had been over fairly flat ground, but from North Dalton we were faced with a few “lumpy” bits. Cue start of “wacky races” as Mark set off at a pace up the first hill triggering a spurt from everyone else. A brief respite then we were onto the next lump. Despite all our best efforts, Mark managed to claim the best time of the day for the run to Middleton-on-the-Wolds. Things calmed down then as we headed to Lund, however climbing out of Lund it was James who kicked things off again as he made a surge to the front chased closely by Pugwash.

Normal service was resumed once more as the “B’s” returned to the “Hive” through Holme-on-the-Wolds, Etton and Cherry Burton. Heading along Finchcroft Lane we were spotted by the paparazzi in the form of Mrs Pugwash.

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🎶Just one cornetto, give it to me🎶 And so, it came to pass, there was only one “Cornetto” lovingly named by Raymondo as the 2nd group while retaining his group title of “Gruppetto”. The lead group on the road were the “Early Starters” consisting of Mark, James N and Matt, setting off at 0915 for a shorter ride than the one proposed.

The 2nd two groups set off at intervals from Manor House at 0945 to follow a similar starting route to the Easter Sunday ride but with a different cafe destination. The “Cornettos” included Mike, Pugwash, Iain, Michael plus his friend Tom joining us for trial run.

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Soon after setting off, while still “warming up” the Cornettos were overtaken by two other gentlemen. I’m not sure, but I felt that the “ignominy” of being “scalped” crept into Mike’s psyche causing him to increase power, thereby keeping his “prey” in sight (ably assisted by Pugwash). We continued to follow said gents through Cherry Burton and Etton, however as we made our way to Holme-on-the-Wolds we began to close in on our “prey”. Eventually, Pugwash decided it was time for us to pass and regain our “scalps”.

Heading along the road towards Middleton-on-the-Wolds, we spotted another group of cyclists ahead. Judging by the “colours” it looked like Mrs Pugwash’s group of WOW ladies. We caught up with them when they stopped to regroup at a lay-by. Recognising our “colours” they started cheering us on. “Allez , Allez, Allez” rang through the ether. However, as we passed, it seems that attention wandered with eyes taking in the magnificent “view” causing Iain to run into the back of Pugwash bringing both to the ground.

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Only superficial injuries were incurred, however the same could not be said for Iain’s bike. The front disc brake rotor was completely buckled rendering his bike unusable. As we discussed what to do next the Gruppetto arrived to lend further assistance. Iain decided to call a taxi to get him back to Beverley.

With time pressing to reach the Fiddle Drill for our 1130 table booking, the rest of the Cornettos decided to continue onwards leaving Iain in the capable hands of the Gruppetto. Instead of continuing to Huggate, we decided to take a slightly shorter route and head to Nunburnholme top along the Warter road from Middleton-on-the-Wolds. This must be one of the worst road surfaces in our area, full of potholes, rough surfaces and loose gravel. Luckily we proceeded without incident.

A quick zoom down to Londesborough before we hit our next challenge on Intake Hill then on to Market Weighton. The “smell of the coffee” wafted down from the Fiddle Drill egging us upward on the final climb (at least in my imagination) if not reality. Having taken a shorter route, we now found ourselves 15min early but were still able to take our table. The Gruppetto with Steve, Raymondo, Norm, Russel and Seadog turned up a little later.

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We were just about to leave when Michael asked where we should pay. I’m glad someone had remembered, as the rest of us were about to head off, wallets still intact. Embarrassment avoided thanks Michael.

The return home saw the two groups taking slightly different paths. The Cornettos turned down to the Kiplingcotes road to South Dalton through Dalton Park while the Gruppetto went back via Holme-on-the-Wolds and South Dalton and home.

Today’s route was suggested by Pugwash taking the Knights out to Huggate then Market Weighton for a cafe stop before returning home. “How far are going?” wailed Chris “I want to do around 50 miles”. An arbitrary distance had not sprung to mind, so to avoid him throwing his “toys out of the pram” I carefully created a route matching his criteria. Unfortunately when allocating the groups I somehow managed to leave his name off the list. Oops! No offence intended.

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We gathered at Market Cross at our normal time of 0930. “Are we all here now?” asked Pugwash. “We’re still missing Michael” came the reply. Just at that moment a sheepish🐑 looking Michael appeared heading the wrong way 🚫 down the one-way system. “I thought I’d meet you in North Bar” was his feeble excuse.

It was a cold start but with the sun shining it promised to be a great day for cycling as we set off towards Cherry Burton and Etton and up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. The “lead” group clearly had other things on their mind as they then deviated from the “script” by taking the usual (slightly shorter) road to Middleton-on-the-Wolds instead of heading over to Bracken Lane and looping round North of Lund.

At Huggate we could feel the full force of the wind as we neared the top. The climbing continued for a little longer as we made our way along the Warter road before eventually hitting the downslope into the village. It was only a brief respite as the next climb up Bailey Lane soon followed. As we were huffing and puffing our way to the top, visions of a “tour pro” came to mind as Steve G on his new e-bike went sailing by, hardly breathing and with a cheery grin “Hello boys” he cried out trying not to sound too smug. Kudos to Chris however, as he claimed the best time of the day even beating the e-bike by 1 sec.

At Market Weighton we stopped at the Gelato Lounge for a welcome break and chance to take on some sustenance. The “lead” group were just finishing their refreshments when we arrived. James G and Michael left the group at this point to head home while Neil Z and Chris headed down the Cliffe Road to North Cave with group 2 following shortly after.

Our final “big climb” came at Beverley Road from South Cave (aka “The Clump”). On reaching the top, Chad and Matt peeled off leaving Pugwash, Seadog and Colin to complete the original course. Another great Sunday ride, with a good mixture of hills and flat bits to keep everyone happy. Looks like turbo weather for the next few days, so hopefully we’ll get together again when the temperature picks up once more.

This week has seen the return of group riding. Monday night heralded the first club ride of the year following the relaxation of pandemic restrictions. Right on cue, 🎶Here comes the Sun🎶 Two groups set off for a 25 mile loop around via Lund. Unfortunately with the pubs still closed they had to forgo the usual post-ride pint🍻.

Then on Tuesday, a further two groups were blessed with a “taste” of summer as the sun☀️ beamed down and temperatures🌡️soared. On this occasion they completed a 48 mile loop out to Ulrome and back with a cafe stop at Cranswick garden centre.

By the time of the Friday ride, the weather “Gods” had dialed back the thermostat and turned the “fan” 💨 back round to the north. 🥶 Olivier was first to propose a ride following the route of the “HTRC Big G 100km”. He was joined by Michael, James N, James G and Paul departing from Market Cross at the earlier time of 0830.

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Meanwhile a second group with Pugwash, Heather, Sarah, Andy G and Colin met at Manor House for a shorter ride of around 60km. The first part of the route took us through Cherry Burton, Etton, Holme-on-the-Wolds and along Bracken Lane. Despite the cold head wind, it was a pleasure to be riding in a group once more where we can take turns on the front.

As we reached Bracken top, a shout went out “Hang on, wait for Sarah!” Turns out she’d got her “knickers” in a twist and were causing some chafing. While she stopped to adjust her wardrobe, there was a “blinding flash 📸” of brilliant white leg as she adjusted the leg warmers to a more comfortable position. Just at the same moment, a tractor 🚜 passed by so we could only imagine what “images” filled the farmers brain as he was confronted with such a sight.

Continuing our way towards Cranswick, the pace picked up as the wind was now more from the side. However, the respite did not last long. Turning onto Meggison’s Turnpike, once again we “battled” cold northerly. On reaching Skerne, we took the road to Wansford where finally, the wind was now generally behind us. (Oh yes it was Sarah). Hitting speeds of 20mph+ we soon arrived at North Frodingham.

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After discussing our various clothing options to keep out the cold, we resumed our journey home through Brandesburton and Leven.

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It was a pleasure to be out riding in a group again and hopefully soon all the cafes will reopen. Today was just too cold to sit outside for takeaway. Here’s looking forward to the next outing.

Here we are in “lockdown 3” and coupled with a prolonged icy spell 🥶 it has severely curtailed our outdoor activities. However it has not dented our enthusiasm to “boldly go where many have gone before, to seek out new ways” to feed our “fix” to get on two wheels. Many of our “crew” have opted to create an indoor pain cave and head off into the virtual world.

The biggest virtual world to which many members subscribe is Zwift. Here you can immerse yourself in the original imaginary world of Watopia or simulation of real world roads. With training programs, races and group rides there’s something for everyone. But wait, who’s that hanging around trying to Bkool?

Come on in he says, join our community for free he says….. but!…. only after handing over your credit card details 💳. What’s this? Hotel California? One plus for this app is the ability to upload your own Strava rides and ride them virtually.

“Hey man, that’s Rouvy” Here we find real roads you can ride as an avatar, no not that blue thing alla James Cameron but 3d computer generated images to represent yourself and other riders. If you think you’re good enough you can even compete for the annual $10,000 💵 prizes.

“🎤And in the blue corner, please welcome on stage…. Fulgaz!” A knockout🥊 real world experience. Featuring video shot in 4k resolution makes for a stunning visualisation and with the “bike computer” at the bottom of the screen it is easy to imagine you are actually riding outside. You know you’re hooked when you start waving your arms and shouting at people to get out of the way. 😂

There are many other apps which could be explored, RGT, Sufferfest, Trainer road, Veloton and Tacx (an exclusive club only available for Tacx trainers). All of these apps offer structured training programs. Most offer some form of group riding and racing. Whichever world you decide to inhabit, it is going to result in a bucket of sweat🥵 as you strive to improve your performance. Hope to see you all on the road again soon! Mi

LADEEEEZ and GENULMEN welcome to the inaugural (and hopefully only) socially distanced Annual Awards. Your hosts for this evening are Less Galey and Cloudier Winteringham. “Good evening everyone” gushed Less “Let’s dive straight in…. Cloudier”

“Yes thank you Less, the first category for this evening is the ‘King of the Mountain’ challenge. This took place on a Strava segment called ‘Chris’ s Hill’. A 2km climb averaging around 3.3% with maximum 7%……. Less”

“Thank you Cloudier, in 3rd place we have Chad Bradley with a time of 4:59, in 2nd place James Miller with a good time of 4:46 but with a runaway time of 4:26 and an average speed of 28.2kph the winner of the Polkadot Pants is” …… Boom boom…. Boom boom……. Boom boom….. “Olivier Whettem!” “Thank you” he uttered embarrassingly as he was presented the award going on to add “I was fortunate to have a strong following wind”

Grabbing the mic from his hands, Cloudier continued “Now we come to the Sprint Challenge. This year it was held once again on the Ionians Pass. A short flat section of 0.85km. Unfortunately some roadworks appeared near the end curtailing the number of attempts……over to you Less”

“Thank you Cloudier. In 3rd place we have Neil Ziemski with a time of 1:14, in 2nd place Michael Kerrigan with a time of 1:04 but topping them all with a time of 1:02 and an average speed of 49.9kph, the winner of the Green Pants Award is” …………. Boom boom………. Boom boom………. Boom boom……. wait for it…… “Chris Shepherd!” “Thank you everyone. I’m sure I could have gone quicker as I eased off before the end” he claimed.

Cloudier retrieved the mic giving him a sceptical look in the process. “The final challenge this year was the Individual Time Trial following a course called ‘The Shark’s Tooth’. It is a lumpy circular section covering 10.8km starting and finishing at the Walkington traffic lights…… Less”

“Thanks again Cloudier, in 3rd place with a time of 19:04 is Michael Kerrigan, in 2nd place with a time of 19:02 we have Chris Shepherd but topping them all with a time of 18:38 and an average speed of 34.8kph is…… Boom boom……. Boom boom……. Boom boom……. Olivier Whettem!”.”What, no trophy” he exclaimed as he gazed forlornly at the empty hands of Less Galey.

“Well ladies and gentlemen that leaves only one award to be presented and that is the Yellow Pants award” continued Cloudier. Just about then there was a kerfuffle in the audience as Sarah fought her way onto the stage with ruffled feathers claiming “Point of Order Mr Chairman!” “Where are the Ladies Awards?” she cried as her eyes hooked on on Neil who was currently shrinking into his chair. “I bust a gut round that Shark’s Tooth” she said accusingly. “Maybe next year Sarah” he replied meekly.

“Well” said Cloudier “by the magic of modern technology we can at least acknowledge your effort of 21:43 giving you an average speed of 29.9kph and bagging the Queen of Mountain title at the same time”. Clutching her imaginary “Shark’s Tooth” Sarah proceeded with her prepared speech “I’d like to thank my Mum, my dad, my kids, my dog… ” just as the tears were forming in her eyes a voice from the audience called out “Hey get off, those tears will dilute my beer!” Searching around in the direction of the heckle, her stare fixated on Chris, “Just you wait till I get you home” she muttered as she headed back to her seat.

“Getting back to the matter in hand” said Less Galey “The Yellow Pants Award. This is awarded to the person considered to have made the most of their membership throughout the year, either by regular contribution or attendance. This year the award goes to….. Boom boom……. Boom boom…… Boom boom……. Paul Walker. “Brilliant thanks a lot” he said as he took hold of the award “I’ll hang this up in pride of place”

“Well folks that’s about all we have time for except to confirm the ‘leading lady’ for both Chris’s Hill and Ionian sprint was Heather. A big thank you to all who made attempts. Get your thinking caps on for next year’s challenges. So it’s goodnight from Cloudier” “And it’s goodnight from Less” “Goodnight”.

… and the Knights are drawing in….. to Market Cross. “And lo, a star 🌟appeared in the east to indicate our direction of travel” said Santa Claus🎅. “Give over” cried the elves and reindeer🦌 “You’ve been playing with that magic dust again haven’t you?” they cried. “No really, we need to make a beeline to Cranswick Farm Shop…. Brandesburton, Bewholme, Beeford Back By Bracken”

Five reindeer set off first, leaving Santa and four elves to follow behind. “Prancer” (Matt) led the way through town to Weel Bridge whereupon “Dasher” (Mike) began to lift the pace as we made our way to Tickton. After a brief stop at the Grange we were joined by “Donner” (Andy). Once again “Dasher” set off like a man on a mission, and aided by a favourable wind we soon arrived at Brandesburton.

The road to Bewholme was reportedly “closed” to traffic 🚧 but undeterred by such trivialities, the reindeer pressed ahead and were able to pass safely through. Meanwhile, Santa and his elves took the slightly shorter route directly to North Frodingham. Soon it was time for “Comet” (Mark) to “take the reins” as we flew onwards to Bewholme.

Our first taste of adverse winds🌬️ came as we turned towards Beeford with only a brief respite when we headed north through Foston-on-the-Wolds then Wansford. The three leading reindeer continued to set a strong pace from Skerne, while “Cupid” (Colin), “Blitzen” (Pugwash) and “Donner” tried their best to cling onto their tails.

On reaching the Farm Shop, it was clear that “there was no room at the Inn”. “You’ll have to shed a tier or two before we can accommodate you within” the innkeeper informed us. “But we have come bearing presence” wailed the reindeer “Cold, Frankly-no-sense and Brrr”. Dasher took this as his cue to continue home alone and was shortly followed by “Cupid” while the other four reindeer shivered their way through coffee ☕ and cake🍰 hiding in the “stable” behind the building like schoolkids lurking by the Bike shed. Just as we were finishing up, Santa and his elves arrived, no doubt looking for some mince pies and wee dram🥃 to warm themselves.

The return journey was hampered by the increasing wind strength with only the thought of getting home before the forecast rain, driving us onwards and so here endeth the last Friday ride for 2020. Well done “Santa” Raymond for organising the routes throughout this exceptional year. Look forward to seeing you all next year.

Ding Ding, Ding Ding went the bell signifying the midnight hour and the end of “Lockdown 2”. It was not quite fireworks but the moon was very bright. The “headmaster” had originally suggested our return to group riding for Thursday but with a poor forecast we opted for a Wednesday ride.

Like kids freed from school the motley crew “ran” to be first out. “I’ll be there” “Me Too” “And me!” Heather proposed the route taking us to North Cave Wetlands centre. After meeting at Manor House, we set off to Walkington then Little Weighton.

Mike set off full of vim and vigour leading the way. However, he’d not been paying attention to the pre-ride briefing and with “autopilot” engaged headed up Bluestone Bottoms instead of continuing onwards to Little Weighton. Having made our way to the top there was a mixed reception to Mike’s excuse that “he loves that hill”.

To get us back on track we headed downhill and round Rowley Road to the “Medieval Village of Riplingham”. It was here that Raymond decided he was not feeling at his best and headed for home while the rest of continued south towards Welton. After climbing the High Road we are normally greeted with a fantastic view southwards over the River, however on this occasion we were presented with a panoramic blanket of grey “driech”.

Matthew assumed “point duty” as he led us through Elloughton along the main road to Ellerker before being “usurped” by Mike as we made our way through South Cave to North Cave Wetlands. On arrival, as everyone parked their bikes, Mark grabbed his chance to place his order first. “That’s a good idea” thought Pugwash and promptly joined him.

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We spent a pleasant interlude catching up and watching the local wildlife as we munched our way through our lunch. However, despite the warmth of the banter, the cool damp air started to seep through to the bones and it was time to head home. “Mega-ride” Mark tried his best to persuade everyone to continue on to Market Weighton then home but the consensus saw us taking the shorter option through Hotham.

At Newbald we were just getting ready to wave goodbye to Matthew who looked like he was heading for Trundlegate before making a last minute adjustment. “It’s all downhill from the top” he said. Whichever way we decide to go, there’s still a bit of climbing to contend with on our way home.

It was a joy to be out group riding again even though we are still limited to groups of six and unable to meet indoors. With the weather forecast set to take a downturn over the next week, it may be a while before our next opportunity.