Well that’s not quite the way Matty put it when he proposed our route for today although there was a sense of urgency intimated in his “thinking of a quick easy ride“. Is that not an oxymoron? ‘Quick’ and ‘easy’ don’t quite seem to fit together in cycling terms. Ten Knights rallied to the meeting point at Etton.

The ‘fleet’ set off towards Holme-on-the-Wolds with the wind slightly ‘abaft the port beam’ led by Capt Pugwash alongside Lieutenant ‘Hawkwind’. The initial ‘passage’ was relatively benign until the fleet ‘hardened up’ onto a ‘close haul’ towards the west. “The deck is all yours Mr Hawkwind” said the captain as he dropped astern into the ‘wake’. The rest of the fleet followed suit until reaching the Goodmanham ‘strait’. After tacking downwind towards Middleton-on-the-Wolds the big guns of Battleship ‘HMS Colvin’ and Cruiser ‘HMS Gramor’ made their way to the front.

The next leg of the journey saw the fleet return to a ‘broad reach’ as we continued north towards North Dalton where we regrouped at the ‘anchorage’ near the Star Inn.

When the fleet ‘weighed anchor’ the Admiral and Vice Admiral headed towards Bainton while the main fleet continued on a ‘broad reach’ north towards Huggate. At the next waypoint HMS Matelot was first to ‘hoist full sail’ as the fleet ‘gybed’ through the wind heading towards Tibthorpe. With the fleet now ‘scudding’ along in a following wind some care had to be taken to avoid the ‘shoals’ in the turbulent surface. Continuing with the following wind, the ‘flotilla’ soon arrived at their ‘port of call’ in Hutton Cranswick.

The ‘mariners’ disembarked to enjoy a brief period of ‘liberty’ except for HMS Gramor who decided to keep a ‘weather eye’ on the gathering dark clouds and head directly back to home port. Meanwhile in the local ‘hostelry’ waiting patiently to rejoin the fleet were the Admiral and Vice Admiral along with HMS Greybeard. While the crews were enjoying their ‘grog’ and ‘hard tack’ another ‘ship’, the HMS Chadley ‘hove into view’ to further ‘bolster’ the fleet. Mindful of the gloomy weather forecast the fleet set off on the return leg.

While ‘tacking close-hauled’ along the ‘Burnbutts strait’ HMS Careen used her hidden power to jump into ‘point position’ with HMS Marwal scrabbling behind searching for a tow rope while HMS Russage moved up and down the ‘line’ keeping the fleet together. The closer the fleet came to home, the darker the clouds became. The impending doom was too much for Lt Hawkwind who hoisted full sail and scuttled off to make his way home alone.

After sailing by the ports of South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton the fleet began to feel the first drops of the wet stuff. It was not much more than a little spray over the bow to begin with but by the time we reached the home port of Beverley it was becoming a little more persistent. Fortunately for most of us we returned home before the rain got heavier, those who lived out of town were not so lucky. Despite the wind and threat of rain, today’s ride was most enjoyable.

The “runners and riders” gathered at the start in Etton ready for Raymond’s extravaganza of hills and thrills. After our “host” outlined the days proceedings the “show” got underway.

The “opening act” of the day saw the Knights climbing up on the stage to Holme-on-the-Wolds with a gentle breeze and a watery sun at our backs. After gathering at the top, the “entertainment” continued with a gentle “rendition” leading the troupe to Middleton-on-the-Wolds. With the “warm up acts” completed we were ready for the next climb to North Dalton where the troupe split in two groups.

The larger group continued upwards to Huggate while a smaller breakaway headed for Bainton. While the breakaway battled into the wind the main group continued to gently climb. Heather set off as pace maker with everyone else happy to wallow in “the accolades” behind her until nearing the top when Matty decided to push on a bit quicker leaving the rest to decide if they should follow or not. On reaching the top, we stopped briefly to bask in the warm sun and reflect on our pleasant ride so far.

After the short “interval” we headed towards Tibthorpe and then realised our easy climb had been wind assisted. The next “act” was a bit like “dueling banjos” as Puggy and Matty vied for the “limelight” cutting their way through the wind at the front. “Well that was hard work” we all agreed. However our work was not yet done as we continued to Kirkburn.

There was some confusion as we reached the first “turn” to Southburn. Some carried on regardless to the next junction ignoring the advice that the road was closed. Some people just love to find a way through closed roads! 😂 Luckily on this occasion it was accessible for cyclists. There were some sighs of relief when we reached Hutton Cranswick and found some protection from the wind, then finally the moment we’d all been waiting for…. the winner of the Beverley Knights Cafe 2024 is…..Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop!

When it came time to return home Raymond asked which way we should go home. The wind direction became the deciding factor as we’d have the wind behind on the way to Bracken. Later when the “troupe” were approaching the pond on Mere Lane there was a shout from behind “Car Back!” After singling out Neil waved the vehicle through. However what we didn’t expect was a large truck pulling a trailer loaded with portaloos almost squeezing us off the road in the process. We had such a fright (at least I did) that those portaloos would have come in handy! Still, it did nothing to dampen the enjoyment of what was a wonderful day out and well attended.

“It was the best of rides, it was the worst of rides…” Which one were you on? I suppose it depends on whether you’re in for the “long haul” or a “Hedge Fun” manager. The “long haulers” met up at “a different time and a different place” with the intention of meeting up at the cafe. Meanwhile the “Hedge Funders” congregated at Tickton Grange to celebrate the return of Ray (“Dalio”) from his “winter training camp” 🕶🍹🍻⛱️.

Ten Knights “invested” in the “shorting” following the usual route out to Leven and Brandesburton before taking the “standard deviation” via Dunnington to Skipsea Brough. After continuing through Beeford the “investors” found themselves with some “directional exposure” as there was a certain amount of “liquidity” reported on the road to Foston-on-the-Wolds. Shortly after clearing the mud strewn section, Neil suffered a “run on his fund” causing his tyre to deflate.

Repairs complete, the “investors” continued through Wansford and Skerne before pitching up at Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop. While the group were enjoying the “fruits of their investments” the five “long haulers” turned up dripping in sweat and looking exhausted having completed a hilly 40 miles. “Where have you been then?” enquired someone cheekily.

When it was time for the “investors” to leave, we left the “long haulers” to finish refuelling. While returning along Burnbutts Lane we encountered a ROAD CLOSED sign. “Now where do we go?” As we discussed options, Heather set off to see if there was a way through. Full of enthusiasm, she returned with the news that yes there was a way past the road block but “we’d have to go around the farm house“. Merrily we followed along behind her, however as we approached the road block expecting to find a farmyard or similar it was with dogged determination that Heather “ploughed” on through the farmer’s field while the rest followed like 🐑 🐏 🐑. As if that wasn’t bad enough we were suddenly confronted by a prickly hedge blocking the way.

Now we know what it is like to be be dragged through a hedge! “Who’s idea was this anyway?” was the general consensus not looking at anyone in particular. I’m not sure this sort of off-roading was included in the risk assessment. (At least the “long haulers” saw sense and took the alternative route.) Once safely back on the road we carried on with the ride returning home on our usual route via Bracken, South Dalton and Etton. The temperature had become quite pleasant with the sun making a bid for freedom through the clouds creating perfect cycling conditions and despite the “hedging”, the ride was most enjoyable and gave us all something to remember.