Masters of the Fairways

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The day opened with with a light sou’westerly wind and a grey blanket of cloud blocking out any spring sunshine and the warmth that might have come with it. Still, with no rain in the forecast it encouraged a great turn out. Only decision to be made was “Shorts or Longs, Summer bike or Winter bike?….🤔

As is traditional with the ‘Masters’, the ‘veterans’ take the ‘honour’ and lead the ‘field’ off on the ‘first tee’. The first ‘hole’ was a ‘par 4’ right hand dogleg taking us from Etton uphill to Holme-on-the-Wolds. ‘All square’ after the first, the second was a long straight ‘par 5’ with a number of undulations which managed to stretch the ‘field’ out as we approached the twisting snake-like ‘par 4 third’ leading us into Middleton-on-the-Wolds.

Next up was the ‘par 3 fourth’, a short up and down through the village. Some confusion reigned at the start of the ‘par 4 fifth’ when some ‘competitors’ misread their ‘course notes’ and tried to miss out the next section of the ‘course’ by turning onto Warter road instead of continuing to North Dalton.

Setting off on the ‘par 3 sixth’, a long straight heading directly into wind on the Dale road towards Warter. On reaching the ‘par 4 – 7th tee’ the terrain took another upward turn as the various groups climbed towards the highest part of the course at Nunburnholme top.

Next up was the ‘par 5 8th hole’ taking the ‘competitors’ from Nunburnholme top downhill through Londesborough with a sting in the tail climb of Intake Hill towards the end.

The ‘par 4 ninth’ meandered further downhill towards Market Weighton before a dogleg left heading to Goodmanham and the climb up to the ‘half-way house’ at Fiddle Drill cafe.

Following refreshments the ‘groups’ set off for the ‘back nine’. The ‘par 4 tenth’ continued the climb upwards along Crossgate. As we approached ‘Amen Corner’ and the ’11th Tee’ heaving in great gulps of air, a waft of “eau-de-manure” drifted across from the neighbouring field tantalising our olfactory nerves. “Ooh the joys of the countryside!” (either that or someone was letting rip 🤭)

At the 12th Tee a few competitors abandoned to find their own way home while the remaining ‘players’ tackled the fast downhill run along Kiplingcotes Race Course. The 13th was a short ‘par 5’ featuring a 5% average climb at the beginning followed by a short dip and another climb before the long straight ‘par 4 14th’ bringing the competitors back towards Etton.

The ‘par 5 15th’ led back through Etton village with a dogleg right and a short climb over the old railway line and into Cherry Burton. The next stage to tackle was the fearsome ‘par 3 16th’ with the infamous “Granny’s Hump”, a short climb averaging 5.2% but touching 9% briefly.

Once the ‘players’ managed to get over the ‘road crossing’ the ’17th’ was a relatively easy ‘par 4’ taking us back towards Manor House. The final ‘par 4’ 18th saw the ‘players’ taking various routes back to their own ‘clubhouse’ to end another extremely enjoyable ride around the East Riding.

Fiddly Wind Hilly Drill

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“Forecast looks good” proclaimed Raymond “Meet at Walkington 10am for a hilly ride which includes a ‘Fiddle’. Route to follow”. “Ooh I love a mystery tour”. DJ was first to respond “Ding Dong I’m free!” Matty followed up with “Yes, I’m on the Fiddle!” though I’m not sure he meant that literally. Seadog then piped in with “I’m up for a bit of drilling”. Ooh er missus, not sure we want to know what you sailors get up to.

Fourteen Knights turned out to be greeted with a blanket of lovely spring sunshine. Things were going really well…. but then we had to mount up. It wasn’t long before we were heading directly into the wind along Middlehowe Road. A gentle incline up to High Hunsley but with the westerly wind it felt like wading through treacle, though not as pleasant. Conversation was somewhat staccato as the wind snatched away words and instead filled the ears with a cacophony of sound.

After a brief respite we headed off to North Newbald. Still into the wind but at least it was now mostly downhill. “Regroup at the village green” Raymond had advised however that message seemed to fall on deaf ears as the ‘leading group’ took the shortcut down Townend Lane to wait near the local school instead.

Setting off once more it felt like bliss with the wind now on our backs giving us a gentle push along as we approached Stoneknowle hill. Any thoughts of PBs were soon quashed however, as we came face to face with a massive tractor with escort straddling the road, forcing us to pull into a nearby lay-by. At Gardham top we crossed the main A1079 with one of our group ‘earning’ a blast of the horn from one entitled miffed driver. “How dare you cross in front of me!”

With everyone safely across, it was time for another downhill run followed by a wind assisted blast towards Etton. Our next challenge was the climb up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. With the wind now on our left flank it was not so much of a hindrance unless we passed a gap in the hedgerow. It was a different story when we turned into the Middleton road as we were once again exposed to the full force. The only hiding place was on the back wheel of the rider in front and just pray that you could ‘hold the wheel’.

The final run in to the Fiddle Drill cafe was an ‘up and over’ Cross Gate with the wind now on the starboard bow. The leading group consisted of Michael, Colin and Matty with Pugwash hanging on their tails. I suspect there was a bit of an undeclared race going on between Michael and Colin with neither willing to be the first to ‘ease off’. There was one advantage being in the lead group though… first dibs at the cafe.

The journey back was somewhat easier with the wind generally assisting as we returned via Kiplingcotes, Etton and Cherry Burton. It was great to see so many members turn out to take advantage of the dry weather and making it a very enjoyable ride. Looking forward to our next outing.

Hutton Cranswick Hurdles

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Ladies and gentlemen welcome to this months running of the Hutton Cranswick Hurdles. It was touch and go whether todays meet would go ahead, however the early morning rain fizzled out leaving the course wet but rideable. It’s approaching 10am and the jockeys and their mounts are assembling at the start line by the Light Dragoon in Etton. Hold on, here’s one jockey arriving with his head almost hanging on his mounts head. Looks like Iain. “Well that was ***** hard going” he said in some sort of Anglo Saxon vernacular referring to the head wind he faced on the way to the start.

And they’re off! Raymond makes a quick getaway for an early lead as the riders approach the first hurdle in the climb up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. Luckily the wind is slightly behind and all the riders make it safely over.

Rounding the next turn, the riders were faced with an adverse wind heading along the ‘back straight’ towards the Goodmanham road hurdle where the riders can build up momentum on the slight downhill before trying to maintain the impetus for the short climb that follows. Once all the riders were safely over the obstacle they arrived at the Middleton-on-the-Wolds turn.

It was not long before the riders were confronted by the next few hurdles on the way to North Dalton. Finally, on reaching the ‘top end of the course’, with a following wind there was a bunch sprint along the main road to Bainton. It was here that the ‘chase’ came to a brief halt as the riders (except for Kamikaze Matty) had to wait for a break in the constant stream of traffic before crossing the A164.

The ‘chase’ then continued along the Neswick straight to Southburn leading the riders to Hutton Balk and the final dash to Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop where the riders were ‘fed and watered’ ready for the return leg.

After a short break, it was time to face the head winds on the way home. While the main bunch took the Bracken route, Michael and Colin however decided to take their mounts a different way home through Skerne and Wansford. There was no hiding from the wind as the riders set off along the initial section of Burnbutts lane. Fortunately it was not long before they found some shelter with the hedgerows.

Heading down Bracken lane the ‘chase’ was exposed once again but at least this section was downhill eventually leading along Mere lane before facing the next ‘hurdle’ of South Dalton Ramp. There was then a brief respite as the riders returned to Etton almost freewheeling with the wind on our backs to the penultimate ‘hurdle’ Etton ramp. The riders then all ‘bunched’ together along the Cherry Burton ‘straight’ girding their loins ready for the final challenge. You could almost hear the strains of Frank Sinatra 🎶and now the end is near, it’s time to face the final hurdle 🎶 😁 Yes it’s everyone’s favourite “Grannies Hump” not a difficult climb in the scheme of things but as usual it comes just when the legs are getting tired.

The ‘course’ was rather damp and quite muddy in places but at least the riders stayed dry with the sun trying to poke through the clouds towards the end. Another very enjoyable day out…. though I suppose I’ll have to clean my mount before the next outing.

The Best Laid Plans..

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.. Of mice and men, oft go astray. Raymond freshly returned from his winter “training camp” was full of enthusiasm to get back into the saddle. After issuing our detailed route instructions he then followed up with a list of “training camp rules”. Well who could resist such tempting rules… G & Ts, Wine, beach loungers, reading, music. What’s not to like? Perhaps that was what drew so many out of winter hibernation to gather at Market Cross.

We set off towards Tickton into a nippy easterly wind. “Feels like we’ve overdone the ice in the G & T” we thought as the chill seeped through our gloves. Raymond’s plan was to head to Leven and Brandesburton then loop through Dunnington. “Last time we were out that way, the Dunnington road was closed” advised Pugwash. “If that’s the case we can continue direct to Bewholme.” replied Raymond. Sure enough the road was still closed.

From Bewholme we headed north towards Skipsea Brough. After regrouping one encouraging voice cried out “The wind’s behind us now” as we continued towards Beeford. Our minds filled with joy at the thought of ‘Flying’ along with the wind at our backs as we headed through Foston-on-the-Wolds, Wansford and Skerne. Unfortunately our ‘joy’ was shortlived as we reached the Wansford road we were faced with “ROAD CLOSED” signs.

“Well what do we do now?” we asked looking around at each other. “Perhaps we can squeeze through or walk past” suggested one. When a car went past the barrier, we decided to follow and see what the situation was. However it was not long before the car returned like a dog with its tail between its legs. Just at that moment a burly workman confronted us to explain that the road was closed and there was no safe way through. “And who’s insurance is going to pay up if you run into one of us?” he added officiouslly.

Eventually we decided to change our cafe stop and head back to North Frodingham and Brandesburton. Unfortunately we were now heading back into the wind. There are times when that road feels like it goes on forever, even more so with an adverse wind. I guess that “training camp” has taken its toll on the legs. 🤔

Six Knights decided to call into the 10th Hole cafe at High Farm on the way home, while the remainder continued without stopping. After enjoying some great banter and a lovely lunch we set off on the short journey homeward.

The Beach Boys

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“Well I’m off to ‘training camp’ this week” cried Raymond “Someone else will have to ‘step up to the plate’ to organise a ride”. Not sure what sort of training camp it is, but I suspect it will involve a lot of “hydration” training 😆

Pugwash was first to chip in with “Anyone fancy a trip to the seaside?” With overnight temperatures down to 3°c there would be less chance of icy patches nearer the coast…. or at least that was the thinking. Eventually six Knights turned out at Market Cross for the later start time of 10am. With the wind ‘filling the topsails’ and even the traffic lights turning in our favour, we ‘breezed’ through town and out towards Weel Bridge.

The swift pace continued through Tickton and onwards to Routh where we waited for a gap in the oncoming traffic to cross the road. When the first two riders made to cross, a lorry in the distance decided to make his presence known by blasting his horn. Not sure what he was ‘trying to say’, it’s not as if we could miss the sight of him thundering towards us. Once we were all safely across we headed south into the wind through Meaux to Kidhill Lane still maintaining a good tempo pace causing the peloton to become somewhat strung out. “Are you sure this is Friday?” asked one breathlessly “Where’s Raymond when you need him?”. Fortunately the ‘leadout’ backed off somewhat after that to a more conversational endurance pace.

In a change to our usual route we decided to head to Swine and Coniston then across to Sproatley where we picked up the road to Burton Constable and New Ellerby. With the wind again in our favour the pace crept up once more as we headed to Withernwick and on to Cowden and along the coast road through Mappleton into Hornsea. “Is it much further?” asked Barry “I could murder a scone right now”.

After a very pleasant stop at the Floral Hall it was time for the return journey. This time we followed our usual route back via Bewholme. Just as we were passing Catfoss, Michael got caught up in the thrill of the chase. “Tally Ho” he cried as he made his way to the front. His stint did not last long though, as his exhilaration deflated along with his rear tyre and he slowly trickled back through the pack like a Pooh Stick drifting downstream. “Carry on” he said as he stopped to inspect the damage. While Barry stayed to help out, the lead group unaware of what happened continued to the next junction before returning to see if help was needed.

Once repairs were completed it was time to hit the road again, unfortunately the ‘repair’ only lasted two minutes before going flat again. While making another tube replacement there was a lot of banter about the ‘dodgy shop keeper’ that sold him the tyres. “You’ll never have another puncture” he was told confidently. “Ooh look here, I’ve only got these left” 😂. It’s never any fun to suffer a puncture but…. four in two rides? 🤔

Once on our way again we returned to Beverley through Brandesburton, Leven and along the cycle path to Tickton. It was a chilly day but with the sun shining brightly it made for a pleasant outing with some great company.

Noah’s Farm Shop

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The clouds were rolling away and the wind easing down when Noah’s wife bellowed down from her lofty perch “Right you animals! The floods are receding and it’s time to get you back to the farm(shop) . Assemble at the bottom of the gangplank in Etton at 10am sharp and we’ll follow the ‘usual’ route over Bracken”.

And lo, it came to pass, twelve ‘animals’ gathered for the start of the ‘procession’. Just as the ‘anaconda’ slithered in unannounced and trying to make himself inconspicuous, “Wait a minute” cried Noah’s wife “I count thirteen, but I’ve only reserved twelve places at the ‘trough'”. However at that moment the ‘flying fox’ saved a ‘corporal Jones’ moment by declaring he’d not be stopping, so no need to amend the booking.

The ‘animals’ set off two by two with Noah’s wife leading the way while the rest were happy to tail along behind at a leisurely pace. On reaching South Dalton, the great ‘silverback’, beating his pedals like Phil Collins on the drums, sailed on past the turn to Mere Lane until a chorus of shouts brought him back into the fold. “I thought we were going to Holme-on-the-Wolds” he explained sheepishly. With order restored, the ‘animals’ continued east until reaching Bracken lane. “Ooh that’s a cold wind” they all agreed as they turned North to pass Bracken farm.

On reaching the junction of Burnbutts Lane there was an attempted ‘escape’ when the ‘stallion’ made a bolt for it racing down towards Southburn. It seems that the ‘usual‘ route is not the same for everyone. “Where’s he going?” enquired Noah’s wife. While the ‘giraffe’ went chasing after the runaway, the ‘animals’ outlined the alternative route . “Well he can go that way if he wants, we’re going this way” said Noah’s wife indignantly.

Arriving at the Farm(shop) the ‘animals’ were greeted by a ‘smorgasbord’ of goodies of biblical proportions ready for our delectation. While chomping merrily a discussion regarding the return route ensued. “There’s two options” declared Noah as we began to leave the ‘trough’. “Back into the wind to Huggate or round by Watton” he declared before adding “I’m going by Watton”. In the end three ‘animals’ decided to venture further out to Huggate while the rest followed Noah.

It wasn’t long before another ‘escape’ attempt was made. This time it was Noah’s wife who was about to take the turn off to Skerne instead of straight on to Watton. On reaching the main road, the ‘animals’ split into two groups of four for the short dash to the Kilnwick junction. Just as we started to turn left towards Lockington, Noah’s wife commented with a puzzled look “Why are we going left? I thought we were going to Brandesburton for Ray”………Nurse!

After Lockington we returned to Bracken lane to follow our ‘usual’ route home via South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton. Back in the ‘ark’, all the animals agreed it had been a very pleasant day out despite the cool northwesterly wind.

Five Go To Gilberdyke

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Matty, James, Colin, Michael and their faithful dog Puggy set off on another adventure. “First I’ll tell you How, Den I’ll tell you where” announced Matty. “Come round to my place at 0930” he suggested before adding preemptively “Unless Michael has any other ideas”. “No No No” cried Michael feeling somewhat defensive “There will be no challenge from me!!” (this time 😉😁

Colin was first to arrive, “Oh good there’s nobody here yet” or so he thought as he approached the shelter next to Walkington Pond only to find Matty inside hiding from the wind. “Just thought I’d surprise everyone and be early for a change” Colin explained. As the appointed hour approached the four of us looked around to see a breathless Michael turn up on the dot. “It doesn’t matter how early I start” he began to explain “I always end up rushing”

James took the lead as we set off towards Howden up Kirk lane and onto Bluestone Bottoms. The climbing continued to the top of Comberdale hill with Matty on the front setting the pace before plummeting down to South Cave. “Wheeeee” we all yelled inwardly as we recovered from our earlier efforts. On reaching Water Lane Matty asked “Shall we take the first or second right?”. “I don’t think there’s much difference” advised Puggy “OK we’ll take the second one” suggested Matty.

At this point, Puggy took up the front running. As we approached the junction to Norfolk Bank Lane, partially blinded by the low lying sun (at least that’s my excuse) Puggy almost cut across the path of another group of cyclists coming at speed in the opposite direction. “Hoy you lot keep your dog on a lead” they shouted as they zoomed by. On the way to Broomfleet we took advantage of the shelter from the wind provided by the few hedges before coming into the flat open ground where there was no hiding place.

The ‘adventure’ continued through the pot hole riddled road leading to the Brickyard and eventually bringing us to Faxfleet. As we then dodged our way around the pot holes and damaged road surface there was a shout from Michael “Puncture!”. “Not again!” we all cried.

“That’s it” wailed Michael “I’m done with tubeless tyres” as he set about looking for the leak. “It’s supposed to be self sealing”. After pumping up the pressure we were on our way once more but it was not for long as he had to stop again. This time he set about putting a ‘plug’ in the tyre. “I saw this on U-Tube” he explained as he set about ‘stabbing’ the tyre like he was skewering a piece of meat. With the time we’d lost, we decided to cut short and head to Gilberdyke instead of Howden. “How far is it to Gilberdyke?” asked Michael as he continued to get that “sinking” feeling before stopping a third time. “You lot carry on and I’ll catch you at the cafe after I put a tube in” he suggested.

The “Five” set off home after the cafe stop but now the wind was generally behind as we flew through Newport to North Cave. On the way to Hotham we briefly lost contact with Colin who’d stopped to fasten up his helmet strap. When we arrived at South Newbald the “Five” started playing “cat and mouse” at the bottom of Trundlegate with nobody ready to take the initiative. “Are we going this way?” asked Michael. “Well that’s what was agreed at the cafe” informed Matty before we set off in earnest up the “mountain”. “At least it is over and done with quickly” said Michael helpfully.

On reaching Littlewood road, Michael was reluctant to take that route as he’d suffered a puncture 🤔 there recently due to hedge cuttings on the road so instead we headed back towards Little Weighton before bombing down Bluestone and back into Walkington. Overall we had a great ride out and the predicted wind gusts of 30mph never materialised.

The Fantastic Four

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The Fantastic 4 set out to explore the unknown dimensions of life in the frozen wastes. The Thing arrived early for a change (2 mins) and the Invisible Man only just appeared in time. We set off along Middlehowe Road at a good pace passing two hardened runners turning out to be Mrs Fantastic and friend. The Human Torch found it tough to get ignited so the others had to slow for him. The ride to Fiddle Drill was quite fast paced and there were some icy moments, which slowed the pace. Mr Fantastic had to forgo the repast as he had more inventions to create back at base. The Thing and Invisible Man ate well but the Human Torch tried to set things alight with the flapjack. Invisible Man made his meal disappear quickly. The Thing then made a remarkable complaint about the Invisible Man making him wait at the start as he was so late! Methinks just jealous that it was the first time anyone had arrived after The Thing in history! We managed to get back from the icy realms safe and well, having enjoyed sunny aspects.

Cast James Gilbert, Colin Garvin, Michael Kerrigan, Matt Meade. Can you guess their characters?

Round the Hornsea

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Commodore Greybeard rose from his bunk following a recent ‘skirmish’ with the latest round of ‘pestilence’ to once again rally the ‘fleet’ for our latest ‘commission’. “Huzzah Huzzah” we all cried relieved to see our beloved Commodore back ‘on deck’. “Thank you men but I’m still not feeling 100% so for our next adventure I’d like to propose a ‘smooth waters’ trip to the east and a ‘raid’ on the Floral Hall. All those in favour say Aye!” Within hours, fourteen ‘ships’ had responded to the ‘signal hoist’ with some gathering at the central anchorage of Market Cross while others proposed to join up en-route at the Tickton Grange anchorage.

The slight chill of an early Friday morning in January did nothing to dampen the spirits of the fleet as we all scuttled out like maggots from a ships biscuit. It was a sight to behold as twelve ships assembled at Market Cross before navigating ‘in convoy’ through the ‘tricky waters’ out of town via Weel Bridge to Tickton to join our Commodore and another three vessels.

Prior to ‘setting sail’ the commodore announced that he was still ‘covered in barnacles’ and short of a ‘few sails’ so would not be completing the full journey and returning to his ‘home port’ from Bewholme. It wasn’t long before the ‘fleet’ split up with the ‘clipper ships’ making full use of their ‘top-gallant sails’. When we arrived at Nag’s Head we found a huge obstacle in our path in the form of a monstrous ‘battleship’ aka articulated truck. This was a test our handling skills as first we ‘hauled on the larboard stays’ and shortly after ‘tacking’ back round to starboard as we rounded the stern of the hulk.

After regrouping at Leven we ‘sailed’ onwards towards Brandesburton and Dunnington eventually coming to our most northerly ‘reach’ at Skipsea Brough. ‘Beating’ our way south we soon parted company with the commodore and a few other vessels at Bewholme. The remaining eleven ‘ships’ continued the eastwards journey to Hornsea where they gratefully ‘dropped anchor’ at the Floral Hall.

Having taken on board suitable ‘provisions’ for the return journey it was time to head back to home port. The ‘fleet’ split in two shortly after ‘weighing anchor’ with one group heading home via Bewholme while the second group continued to ‘beat’ southwards until reaching Mappleton at which point we turned to the west sailing on a ‘broad reach’. The ‘passage’ got somewhat bumpy as the road surface was not in good condition. Shortly after passing Great Hatfield we ran into ‘muddy waters’ (no not the singer). It was like sailing through a ‘slurry pit’ but without the stench. So much for my nice clean ‘hull’ we all thought dolefully as the mud splattered everywhere making our sparkling ‘uniform dress’ look like khaki polkadots.

As we continued on towards Long Riston, Karl and Michael took up the ‘flagship’ position setting a strong pace with everyone ‘trailing in their wake’ wondering where the ‘tow rope’ was. The ‘formation’ continued as we made our way through Arnold to the Meaux Road. When we turned ‘close hauled’ north to Routh, Karl maintained his position as the ‘vanguard’ while Michael dropped to the rear. Every so often Karl ‘glimpsed over the taff rail’. I’m not sure if he was checking to see if we were still ‘alongside’ or if he’d managed to lose us 😉😂

Overall we had a great ride out. The day was dull with light winds but the company was bright and breezy. The forecast over the next week does not look conducive to safe riding which possibly accounts for such a good turn out. Take care everyone if you do go out.

🎶Cold As Ice🎶

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And not a “Foreigner” in sight (unless north of the border falls into that category😁) and a very happy New Year to you all. “Cold in the Wolds” was one description while Michael chimed in with “Bitterly Cold” you kind of get the picture of what we faced as we gathered at Etton for a ride out to Millington. I suppose it is to be expected, it is January after all. Following what seems like months of rain, finally we had a dry day with light winds, no ice and even a hint of sunshine in the forecast.

Five Knights were all in good spirits as we set off towards Holme-on-the-Wolds catching up on the latest gossip and swapping Xmas stories. Along the ‘back straight’ we encountered our first “flood” with a stream of water running across the road, fortunately not deep and easily passable. A little further along as we approached the Goodmanham junction we almost had a pile up when Mel went into “dance mode” and decided to turn left while everyone else continued ahead. In the process he almost collided with Matt on his left before realising his mistake then when turning back overdid the correction almost running into Pugwash on his right.

From Middleton-on-the-Wolds we continued up to North Dalton ready for everyone’s ‘favourite’ climb up to Huggate. Thereafter we plummeted down into Millington pastures. Our next challenge was to climb the switchback near Millington Wood before the final run down to the Ramblers Rest cafe. Once again Mel’s “sat-nav” sent him the wrong way as he sailed on past the turn into the village despite the shout from Matt. Fortunately he didn’t get far before realising his mistake and turned up at the cafe just as we were about to send out the search party. While having lunch with a lovely cracklin’ log fire in the background we were joined by Colin who’d overcome his earlier “mechanical”

While discussing which way to return home avoiding closed/flooded roads around Goodmanham we initially thought to return along Millington Pastures until Colin came up with an alternative route back to Huggate. For most of us this was a completely new section, leading first up “The Balk” onto Givendale hill before joining with the York road and back into Huggate.

Rather than return the way we came, we continued on to Tibthorpe and Southburn before making our usual way home over Bracken to South Dalton and Etton. A very enjoyable ride despite the cold. Although we were glad to be out we were also looking forward to getting home to a warm bath/shower.