The Beach Boys

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“Well I’m off to ‘training camp’ this week” cried Raymond “Someone else will have to ‘step up to the plate’ to organise a ride”. Not sure what sort of training camp it is, but I suspect it will involve a lot of “hydration” training 😆

Pugwash was first to chip in with “Anyone fancy a trip to the seaside?” With overnight temperatures down to 3°c there would be less chance of icy patches nearer the coast…. or at least that was the thinking. Eventually six Knights turned out at Market Cross for the later start time of 10am. With the wind ‘filling the topsails’ and even the traffic lights turning in our favour, we ‘breezed’ through town and out towards Weel Bridge.

The swift pace continued through Tickton and onwards to Routh where we waited for a gap in the oncoming traffic to cross the road. When the first two riders made to cross, a lorry in the distance decided to make his presence known by blasting his horn. Not sure what he was ‘trying to say’, it’s not as if we could miss the sight of him thundering towards us. Once we were all safely across we headed south into the wind through Meaux to Kidhill Lane still maintaining a good tempo pace causing the peloton to become somewhat strung out. “Are you sure this is Friday?” asked one breathlessly “Where’s Raymond when you need him?”. Fortunately the ‘leadout’ backed off somewhat after that to a more conversational endurance pace.

In a change to our usual route we decided to head to Swine and Coniston then across to Sproatley where we picked up the road to Burton Constable and New Ellerby. With the wind again in our favour the pace crept up once more as we headed to Withernwick and on to Cowden and along the coast road through Mappleton into Hornsea. “Is it much further?” asked Barry “I could murder a scone right now”.

After a very pleasant stop at the Floral Hall it was time for the return journey. This time we followed our usual route back via Bewholme. Just as we were passing Catfoss, Michael got caught up in the thrill of the chase. “Tally Ho” he cried as he made his way to the front. His stint did not last long though, as his exhilaration deflated along with his rear tyre and he slowly trickled back through the pack like a Pooh Stick drifting downstream. “Carry on” he said as he stopped to inspect the damage. While Barry stayed to help out, the lead group unaware of what happened continued to the next junction before returning to see if help was needed.

Once repairs were completed it was time to hit the road again, unfortunately the ‘repair’ only lasted two minutes before going flat again. While making another tube replacement there was a lot of banter about the ‘dodgy shop keeper’ that sold him the tyres. “You’ll never have another puncture” he was told confidently. “Ooh look here, I’ve only got these left” 😂. It’s never any fun to suffer a puncture but…. four in two rides? 🤔

Once on our way again we returned to Beverley through Brandesburton, Leven and along the cycle path to Tickton. It was a chilly day but with the sun shining brightly it made for a pleasant outing with some great company.

Noah’s Farm Shop

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The clouds were rolling away and the wind easing down when Noah’s wife bellowed down from her lofty perch “Right you animals! The floods are receding and it’s time to get you back to the farm(shop) . Assemble at the bottom of the gangplank in Etton at 10am sharp and we’ll follow the ‘usual’ route over Bracken”.

And lo, it came to pass, twelve ‘animals’ gathered for the start of the ‘procession’. Just as the ‘anaconda’ slithered in unannounced and trying to make himself inconspicuous, “Wait a minute” cried Noah’s wife “I count thirteen, but I’ve only reserved twelve places at the ‘trough'”. However at that moment the ‘flying fox’ saved a ‘corporal Jones’ moment by declaring he’d not be stopping, so no need to amend the booking.

The ‘animals’ set off two by two with Noah’s wife leading the way while the rest were happy to tail along behind at a leisurely pace. On reaching South Dalton, the great ‘silverback’, beating his pedals like Phil Collins on the drums, sailed on past the turn to Mere Lane until a chorus of shouts brought him back into the fold. “I thought we were going to Holme-on-the-Wolds” he explained sheepishly. With order restored, the ‘animals’ continued east until reaching Bracken lane. “Ooh that’s a cold wind” they all agreed as they turned North to pass Bracken farm.

On reaching the junction of Burnbutts Lane there was an attempted ‘escape’ when the ‘stallion’ made a bolt for it racing down towards Southburn. It seems that the ‘usual‘ route is not the same for everyone. “Where’s he going?” enquired Noah’s wife. While the ‘giraffe’ went chasing after the runaway, the ‘animals’ outlined the alternative route . “Well he can go that way if he wants, we’re going this way” said Noah’s wife indignantly.

Arriving at the Farm(shop) the ‘animals’ were greeted by a ‘smorgasbord’ of goodies of biblical proportions ready for our delectation. While chomping merrily a discussion regarding the return route ensued. “There’s two options” declared Noah as we began to leave the ‘trough’. “Back into the wind to Huggate or round by Watton” he declared before adding “I’m going by Watton”. In the end three ‘animals’ decided to venture further out to Huggate while the rest followed Noah.

It wasn’t long before another ‘escape’ attempt was made. This time it was Noah’s wife who was about to take the turn off to Skerne instead of straight on to Watton. On reaching the main road, the ‘animals’ split into two groups of four for the short dash to the Kilnwick junction. Just as we started to turn left towards Lockington, Noah’s wife commented with a puzzled look “Why are we going left? I thought we were going to Brandesburton for Ray”………Nurse!

After Lockington we returned to Bracken lane to follow our ‘usual’ route home via South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton. Back in the ‘ark’, all the animals agreed it had been a very pleasant day out despite the cool northwesterly wind.

Five Go To Gilberdyke

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Matty, James, Colin, Michael and their faithful dog Puggy set off on another adventure. “First I’ll tell you How, Den I’ll tell you where” announced Matty. “Come round to my place at 0930” he suggested before adding preemptively “Unless Michael has any other ideas”. “No No No” cried Michael feeling somewhat defensive “There will be no challenge from me!!” (this time 😉😁

Colin was first to arrive, “Oh good there’s nobody here yet” or so he thought as he approached the shelter next to Walkington Pond only to find Matty inside hiding from the wind. “Just thought I’d surprise everyone and be early for a change” Colin explained. As the appointed hour approached the four of us looked around to see a breathless Michael turn up on the dot. “It doesn’t matter how early I start” he began to explain “I always end up rushing”

James took the lead as we set off towards Howden up Kirk lane and onto Bluestone Bottoms. The climbing continued to the top of Comberdale hill with Matty on the front setting the pace before plummeting down to South Cave. “Wheeeee” we all yelled inwardly as we recovered from our earlier efforts. On reaching Water Lane Matty asked “Shall we take the first or second right?”. “I don’t think there’s much difference” advised Puggy “OK we’ll take the second one” suggested Matty.

At this point, Puggy took up the front running. As we approached the junction to Norfolk Bank Lane, partially blinded by the low lying sun (at least that’s my excuse) Puggy almost cut across the path of another group of cyclists coming at speed in the opposite direction. “Hoy you lot keep your dog on a lead” they shouted as they zoomed by. On the way to Broomfleet we took advantage of the shelter from the wind provided by the few hedges before coming into the flat open ground where there was no hiding place.

The ‘adventure’ continued through the pot hole riddled road leading to the Brickyard and eventually bringing us to Faxfleet. As we then dodged our way around the pot holes and damaged road surface there was a shout from Michael “Puncture!”. “Not again!” we all cried.

“That’s it” wailed Michael “I’m done with tubeless tyres” as he set about looking for the leak. “It’s supposed to be self sealing”. After pumping up the pressure we were on our way once more but it was not for long as he had to stop again. This time he set about putting a ‘plug’ in the tyre. “I saw this on U-Tube” he explained as he set about ‘stabbing’ the tyre like he was skewering a piece of meat. With the time we’d lost, we decided to cut short and head to Gilberdyke instead of Howden. “How far is it to Gilberdyke?” asked Michael as he continued to get that “sinking” feeling before stopping a third time. “You lot carry on and I’ll catch you at the cafe after I put a tube in” he suggested.

The “Five” set off home after the cafe stop but now the wind was generally behind as we flew through Newport to North Cave. On the way to Hotham we briefly lost contact with Colin who’d stopped to fasten up his helmet strap. When we arrived at South Newbald the “Five” started playing “cat and mouse” at the bottom of Trundlegate with nobody ready to take the initiative. “Are we going this way?” asked Michael. “Well that’s what was agreed at the cafe” informed Matty before we set off in earnest up the “mountain”. “At least it is over and done with quickly” said Michael helpfully.

On reaching Littlewood road, Michael was reluctant to take that route as he’d suffered a puncture 🤔 there recently due to hedge cuttings on the road so instead we headed back towards Little Weighton before bombing down Bluestone and back into Walkington. Overall we had a great ride out and the predicted wind gusts of 30mph never materialised.

The Fantastic Four

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The Fantastic 4 set out to explore the unknown dimensions of life in the frozen wastes. The Thing arrived early for a change (2 mins) and the Invisible Man only just appeared in time. We set off along Middlehowe Road at a good pace passing two hardened runners turning out to be Mrs Fantastic and friend. The Human Torch found it tough to get ignited so the others had to slow for him. The ride to Fiddle Drill was quite fast paced and there were some icy moments, which slowed the pace. Mr Fantastic had to forgo the repast as he had more inventions to create back at base. The Thing and Invisible Man ate well but the Human Torch tried to set things alight with the flapjack. Invisible Man made his meal disappear quickly. The Thing then made a remarkable complaint about the Invisible Man making him wait at the start as he was so late! Methinks just jealous that it was the first time anyone had arrived after The Thing in history! We managed to get back from the icy realms safe and well, having enjoyed sunny aspects.

Cast James Gilbert, Colin Garvin, Michael Kerrigan, Matt Meade. Can you guess their characters?

Round the Hornsea

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Commodore Greybeard rose from his bunk following a recent ‘skirmish’ with the latest round of ‘pestilence’ to once again rally the ‘fleet’ for our latest ‘commission’. “Huzzah Huzzah” we all cried relieved to see our beloved Commodore back ‘on deck’. “Thank you men but I’m still not feeling 100% so for our next adventure I’d like to propose a ‘smooth waters’ trip to the east and a ‘raid’ on the Floral Hall. All those in favour say Aye!” Within hours, fourteen ‘ships’ had responded to the ‘signal hoist’ with some gathering at the central anchorage of Market Cross while others proposed to join up en-route at the Tickton Grange anchorage.

The slight chill of an early Friday morning in January did nothing to dampen the spirits of the fleet as we all scuttled out like maggots from a ships biscuit. It was a sight to behold as twelve ships assembled at Market Cross before navigating ‘in convoy’ through the ‘tricky waters’ out of town via Weel Bridge to Tickton to join our Commodore and another three vessels.

Prior to ‘setting sail’ the commodore announced that he was still ‘covered in barnacles’ and short of a ‘few sails’ so would not be completing the full journey and returning to his ‘home port’ from Bewholme. It wasn’t long before the ‘fleet’ split up with the ‘clipper ships’ making full use of their ‘top-gallant sails’. When we arrived at Nag’s Head we found a huge obstacle in our path in the form of a monstrous ‘battleship’ aka articulated truck. This was a test our handling skills as first we ‘hauled on the larboard stays’ and shortly after ‘tacking’ back round to starboard as we rounded the stern of the hulk.

After regrouping at Leven we ‘sailed’ onwards towards Brandesburton and Dunnington eventually coming to our most northerly ‘reach’ at Skipsea Brough. ‘Beating’ our way south we soon parted company with the commodore and a few other vessels at Bewholme. The remaining eleven ‘ships’ continued the eastwards journey to Hornsea where they gratefully ‘dropped anchor’ at the Floral Hall.

Having taken on board suitable ‘provisions’ for the return journey it was time to head back to home port. The ‘fleet’ split in two shortly after ‘weighing anchor’ with one group heading home via Bewholme while the second group continued to ‘beat’ southwards until reaching Mappleton at which point we turned to the west sailing on a ‘broad reach’. The ‘passage’ got somewhat bumpy as the road surface was not in good condition. Shortly after passing Great Hatfield we ran into ‘muddy waters’ (no not the singer). It was like sailing through a ‘slurry pit’ but without the stench. So much for my nice clean ‘hull’ we all thought dolefully as the mud splattered everywhere making our sparkling ‘uniform dress’ look like khaki polkadots.

As we continued on towards Long Riston, Karl and Michael took up the ‘flagship’ position setting a strong pace with everyone ‘trailing in their wake’ wondering where the ‘tow rope’ was. The ‘formation’ continued as we made our way through Arnold to the Meaux Road. When we turned ‘close hauled’ north to Routh, Karl maintained his position as the ‘vanguard’ while Michael dropped to the rear. Every so often Karl ‘glimpsed over the taff rail’. I’m not sure if he was checking to see if we were still ‘alongside’ or if he’d managed to lose us 😉😂

Overall we had a great ride out. The day was dull with light winds but the company was bright and breezy. The forecast over the next week does not look conducive to safe riding which possibly accounts for such a good turn out. Take care everyone if you do go out.

🎶Cold As Ice🎶

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And not a “Foreigner” in sight (unless north of the border falls into that category😁) and a very happy New Year to you all. “Cold in the Wolds” was one description while Michael chimed in with “Bitterly Cold” you kind of get the picture of what we faced as we gathered at Etton for a ride out to Millington. I suppose it is to be expected, it is January after all. Following what seems like months of rain, finally we had a dry day with light winds, no ice and even a hint of sunshine in the forecast.

Five Knights were all in good spirits as we set off towards Holme-on-the-Wolds catching up on the latest gossip and swapping Xmas stories. Along the ‘back straight’ we encountered our first “flood” with a stream of water running across the road, fortunately not deep and easily passable. A little further along as we approached the Goodmanham junction we almost had a pile up when Mel went into “dance mode” and decided to turn left while everyone else continued ahead. In the process he almost collided with Matt on his left before realising his mistake then when turning back overdid the correction almost running into Pugwash on his right.

From Middleton-on-the-Wolds we continued up to North Dalton ready for everyone’s ‘favourite’ climb up to Huggate. Thereafter we plummeted down into Millington pastures. Our next challenge was to climb the switchback near Millington Wood before the final run down to the Ramblers Rest cafe. Once again Mel’s “sat-nav” sent him the wrong way as he sailed on past the turn into the village despite the shout from Matt. Fortunately he didn’t get far before realising his mistake and turned up at the cafe just as we were about to send out the search party. While having lunch with a lovely cracklin’ log fire in the background we were joined by Colin who’d overcome his earlier “mechanical”

While discussing which way to return home avoiding closed/flooded roads around Goodmanham we initially thought to return along Millington Pastures until Colin came up with an alternative route back to Huggate. For most of us this was a completely new section, leading first up “The Balk” onto Givendale hill before joining with the York road and back into Huggate.

Rather than return the way we came, we continued on to Tibthorpe and Southburn before making our usual way home over Bracken to South Dalton and Etton. A very enjoyable ride despite the cold. Although we were glad to be out we were also looking forward to getting home to a warm bath/shower.

An Alternative 12 Days of Xmas

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Oh the first knight of Christmas, he proposed to me, A flat ride out to Hornsea.

Oh the second knight of Christmas, he advised to me, wear two pairs of gloves on a flat ride out to Hornsea.

Oh the third knight of Christmas, truly said to me, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea.

Oh the fourth knight of Christmas, he did cuss to me, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea.

Oh the fifth knight of Christmas, he complained to me, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the sixth knight of Christmas, pointed out to me, Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the seventh knight of Christmas, whispered in my ear, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the eighth knight of Christmas, shouted out to me, wait shades are melting, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the ninth knight of Christmas, shouted out to me, my buddies panting, wait shades are melting, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the tenth knight of Christmas, shouted out to me, tend brakes are squeaking, my buddies panting, wait shades are melting, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the eleventh knight of Christmas, shouted out to me, heavens summers coming, tend brakes are squeaking, my buddies panting, wait shades are melting, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

Oh the twelfth knight of Christmas, shouted out to me, twelve riders riding, heaven summers coming, tend brakes are squeaking, my buddies panting, wait shades are melting, the peloton is grinning , Slicks they are fraying, My old limbs, four swear words, we’re best friends, wear two pairs of gloves, on a flat ride out to Hornsea

King Raymond and the Knights Around the Table

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Feeling better after his ‘battle’ against the ‘lurgy’ King Raymond was keen to ‘rally his troops’ for a flat ‘sedentary’ ride to Hornsea. “I’m keen to get back in the saddle so suggest our usual route to the Floral Hall” he called before adding a small caveat, “May not make the whole ride but will be strong for the start”. After some further thought he added the option for anyone to suggest an alternative “more adventurous/challenging⛰️🚵‍♂️ route” should they so wish.

Like a chorus from the Four Tops the Knights sang out “🎶I’ll be there🎶” with nobody wanting to “raise the stakes”. The only ‘fly in the ointment’ was a report that Ings Lane leading to Arnold was still flooded and we should consider an alternative route. “Well let’s play it by ear and take our chances” suggested the king.

Ten Knights made the ‘start picture’ however just as we were about to set off “Sir Lastalot” turned up “on the dot” confirming everyone’s suspicion that he waits around the corner out of sight staring at his watch as the seconds count down to the start time before, in the manner of a prima-Donna, making a dramatic entry.

After negotiating our way through town we headed up the Weel road to Tickton where Sir Chad and Sir Jim were waiting to join in the fun.

Resuming our journey, we set off towards Routh before heading south on the Meaux Road then turning onto Kidhill Lane. Just as we reached the junction to Ings Lane we found a “Road Closed” sign. “Well what do we do now?” we wondered. “Why is the road closed?” asked one disbelieving Knight. “I guess the road is still flooded” we surmised. “We can go to Skirlaugh then Rise before returning to our original route plan” suggested one Knight.

By the time we reached Rise, two of the Knights couldn’t contain their excitement and had to make a ‘wee’ stop (“Don’t look Heather!”) while everyone else ‘debated’ which route to take next. Eventually the Knights remounted and rode off towards Great Hatfield and Mappleton then the final ‘dash’ along the coast road into Hornsea.

As the Knights queued to place our cafe order, Neil thought we looked like the sketch from the Full Monty minus the music. Seated around two tables, the Knights were pleased to see our orders arriving. “Bacon Sandwich anyone?” asked the waitress “Anyone?” “Oh that’ll be mine” said King Raymond when nobody else claimed it. Shortly after, King Raymond’s face adopted an expression of shock and horror almost like a case of rigor mortis. “I think I ordered a sausage sandwich” he said. There was a brief pause before the table burst into gales of laughter when we realised his predicament. Having already taken a huge bite out of the bacon Butty he could hardly pass it over to its rightful owner. “Do you mind having sausage instead of bacon?” he asked those still waiting. However the said sausage bap never appeared so we could only surmise that he’d ordered the wrong thing.

As we clamboured back onto our steeds, it felt as if the temperature had dropped a few degrees. The route home was planned to take us to Bewholme, however at the Seaton road junction, we found the road closed with barriers and machinery blocking the way. Just as we were planning an alternative route, a very kind workman opened the barrier to let us through. The final leg of the journey then took us through Brandesburton and Leven before returning home with everyone happy to put on the road once more.

An Immaculate Concept

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After weeks of wet and/or icy weather, today on the “Feast of the Immaculate Conception” we saw a brief lull in the inclement weather allowing this Friday’s ride to Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop to go ahead. Eight Knights turned out at Etton for a 10am start including Michael who, after three punctures in four rides, was rather eager to show off his brand new tubeless tyres. “They told me in the shop that I’d never suffer another puncture” he proudly declared. Well that would be an immaculate concept.

We set off in good spirits, pleased to be out on the road once more and a chance to catch up on all the “goings on”. Our first “objective” was the climb up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. From there we made our way along to Lockington dodging the odd pool of water here and there along the way. As we approached the junction to Kilnwick Lane we found the road strewn with gravel and other detritus washed down the hill from the recent rainfall. After gingerly picking our way through, conditions did improve slightly until we reached Crabtree lane.

Making our way around Cawkeld, the road surface was more akin to a ploughed field with potholes and damaged tarmac everywhere and much of it covered with pools of water or mud from the surrounding fields. Just before we reached Watton a shout went out “Stopping!” As we gathered round to investigate the reason….. “No! It can’t be! Michael’s got another puncture”. Seems his concept of punctureless tyres was not so immaculate after all.

Despite several attempts to “self-seal” it appeared that the hole may be too big and the only answer was to fit a spare inner tube. Meanwhile, Neil was conscious of time ticking on and having booked a table, suggested he’d stay to assist Michael while the rest of us continued onwards. However, instead of heading to Watton and round by Tophill Low to Hutton Cranswick we tracked back to the junction to Bracken lane arriving at the Farm Shop with time to spare where we were met by Heather who’d cycled up to join us.

For the journey home it seems that we all had differing ideas with some wanting to add extra miles while others wanted to get home before any rain. At the junction of Burnbutts and Bracken lane, Michael, Colin and Graham headed to Bainton while the rest took the more direct route home via South Dalton and Etton.

Let The Sun Shine

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🎶Let the sun shine in 🎶. This Friday’s ride was blessed with a brief respite between the many showers and storms of recent weeks to present us with almost perfect cycling conditions. Thirteen Knights turned out for the start at Walkington Pond to take advantage of the wall to wall sunshine and light winds to ride out to the Fiddle Drill at Goodmanham.

Our route took us initially to South Cave taking on the climbs of Bluestone Bottoms and Comberdale Hill along the way. Next up was a quick blast over to North Cave and onto the Cliffe Road leading into Market Weighton. After wending out way through town traffic we came to our next challenge with the climb to the Fiddle Drill where we were joined by SteveG.

For the route home, we continued to climb up Cross Gate until reaching the Kiplingcotes Race Course road where Mike and Steve left the group while the rest continued to Middleton-on-the-Wolds….. Well I say the rest, but Iain and Martin decided to leave shortly after by turning off to Lund while a few others also went their own way. By the time we reached the Kilnwick road the group was down to seven.

Approaching the Bracken junction we spotted two cyclists up ahead. “That’s Iain and Martin” cried someone “Why didn’t they stay with us?” we wondered. From Bracken we followed our usual route back to South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton to end another very enjoyable ride.