“Hello Kevin; Hello Kevin” – sometimes we need something as simple as that to think of a theme for the latest blog. How Puggy keeps thinking of different, fresh themes week in week out I’ll never know. Anyway, Python Neil and Python Mark are on top form as they reel off joke after joke, getting filthier and filthier as we enjoy our beans with brown toast (which I’ll never view the same again….) The parrot joke is probably the cleanest we can consume on our fine website, and it goes something like…. Wife buys parrot at a bargain priceOwner says “it’s cheap because it used to live in a brothel”. Wife brings parrot back home, Parrot sees husband and says “hello Kevin, hello Kevin”. I know – not that funny – but it’s the way Python Neil tells them. There’s a space open for you on the comedy circuit Neil!
So, 9 Knights gather on time at Manor House. We have………….Python Matt, Python Dave, Python Heather, Python Mark, Python Routemaster Ray, Python Russ, Python Neil, Python Karl, Python Michael. The Pollyton sets off down our usual route to Middleton, via Cherry, Etton, South Dalton and Holme on the Wolds and the weather is wonderful; the sky a delightful Norwegian Blue. Arriving at Middleton, Python Routemaster Ray shouts “don’t miss the first turn left”. “What do you mean miss?” shouts the Pollyton right back – “we know where we are going!”. And we are going an alternate route to the top of Nunburnholme hill, one which this author says he’s never done before but will no doubt go back home and find he’s got several previous Strava segments to his name from this same route. If you want to get where you want to be, do not follow Michael (or Heather for that matter)…
The front group wait at the usual spot at the top of the hill with total lack of movement due to being tired and shagged out following a prolonged climb. Python Routemaster Ray joins the Pollyton to explain that Python Dave and Python Russ have been held back due to a puncture. As Ray explains, “his innertube has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. It’s a stiff, bereft of life, it rests in peace … it’s shuffled off its mortal coil … THIS IS AN EX-INNERTUBE!”
Two tables reserved at the delightful Fiddle Drill (thanks Python Heather), the front group arrives and Python Matt checks his watch for the latest Slack goss. There’s a message from evergreen Jim……. “I wish to register a complaint!”… Jim has valid concerns about the proximity of the start and end points of the proposed Knights sprint section to potential danger spots, so Python Neil suggests doing a reccy to find a safer alternative. And so we do.
Food devoured, we are ready for the off. Matt sports his new gaiter over his head rather than the conventional neck option. With sweat dripping from his forehead, he’s clearly pining for the fjords. Python Routemaster Ray insists on going over the top rather than the more sedate Kiplingcotes option, to which Neil does well to avoid throwing a tanty. Amidst the usual bickering about incorrect directions, the Pollyton ride through the delightful Dalton estate and then back home via the usual route.
A delightful ride but I’m not prepared to pursue this blog any longer as I think this is getting too silly. Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, far too silly………………..