Ladies and gentlemen welcome to this months running of the Hutton Cranswick Hurdles. It was touch and go whether todays meet would go ahead, however the early morning rain fizzled out leaving the course wet but rideable. It’s approaching 10am and the jockeys and their mounts are assembling at the start line by the Light Dragoon in Etton. Hold on, here’s one jockey arriving with his head almost hanging on his mounts head. Looks like Iain. “Well that was ***** hard going” he said in some sort of Anglo Saxon vernacular referring to the head wind he faced on the way to the start.

And they’re off! Raymond makes a quick getaway for an early lead as the riders approach the first hurdle in the climb up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. Luckily the wind is slightly behind and all the riders make it safely over.

Rounding the next turn, the riders were faced with an adverse wind heading along the ‘back straight’ towards the Goodmanham road hurdle where the riders can build up momentum on the slight downhill before trying to maintain the impetus for the short climb that follows. Once all the riders were safely over the obstacle they arrived at the Middleton-on-the-Wolds turn.

It was not long before the riders were confronted by the next few hurdles on the way to North Dalton. Finally, on reaching the ‘top end of the course’, with a following wind there was a bunch sprint along the main road to Bainton. It was here that the ‘chase’ came to a brief halt as the riders (except for Kamikaze Matty) had to wait for a break in the constant stream of traffic before crossing the A164.

The ‘chase’ then continued along the Neswick straight to Southburn leading the riders to Hutton Balk and the final dash to Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop where the riders were ‘fed and watered’ ready for the return leg.

After a short break, it was time to face the head winds on the way home. While the main bunch took the Bracken route, Michael and Colin however decided to take their mounts a different way home through Skerne and Wansford. There was no hiding from the wind as the riders set off along the initial section of Burnbutts lane. Fortunately it was not long before they found some shelter with the hedgerows.

Heading down Bracken lane the ‘chase’ was exposed once again but at least this section was downhill eventually leading along Mere lane before facing the next ‘hurdle’ of South Dalton Ramp. There was then a brief respite as the riders returned to Etton almost freewheeling with the wind on our backs to the penultimate ‘hurdle’ Etton ramp. The riders then all ‘bunched’ together along the Cherry Burton ‘straight’ girding their loins ready for the final challenge. You could almost hear the strains of Frank Sinatra 🎶and now the end is near, it’s time to face the final hurdle 🎶 😁 Yes it’s everyone’s favourite “Grannies Hump” not a difficult climb in the scheme of things but as usual it comes just when the legs are getting tired.

The ‘course’ was rather damp and quite muddy in places but at least the riders stayed dry with the sun trying to poke through the clouds towards the end. Another very enjoyable day out…. though I suppose I’ll have to clean my mount before the next outing.

The clouds were rolling away and the wind easing down when Noah’s wife bellowed down from her lofty perch “Right you animals! The floods are receding and it’s time to get you back to the farm(shop) . Assemble at the bottom of the gangplank in Etton at 10am sharp and we’ll follow the ‘usual’ route over Bracken”.

And lo, it came to pass, twelve ‘animals’ gathered for the start of the ‘procession’. Just as the ‘anaconda’ slithered in unannounced and trying to make himself inconspicuous, “Wait a minute” cried Noah’s wife “I count thirteen, but I’ve only reserved twelve places at the ‘trough'”. However at that moment the ‘flying fox’ saved a ‘corporal Jones’ moment by declaring he’d not be stopping, so no need to amend the booking.

The ‘animals’ set off two by two with Noah’s wife leading the way while the rest were happy to tail along behind at a leisurely pace. On reaching South Dalton, the great ‘silverback’, beating his pedals like Phil Collins on the drums, sailed on past the turn to Mere Lane until a chorus of shouts brought him back into the fold. “I thought we were going to Holme-on-the-Wolds” he explained sheepishly. With order restored, the ‘animals’ continued east until reaching Bracken lane. “Ooh that’s a cold wind” they all agreed as they turned North to pass Bracken farm.

On reaching the junction of Burnbutts Lane there was an attempted ‘escape’ when the ‘stallion’ made a bolt for it racing down towards Southburn. It seems that the ‘usual‘ route is not the same for everyone. “Where’s he going?” enquired Noah’s wife. While the ‘giraffe’ went chasing after the runaway, the ‘animals’ outlined the alternative route . “Well he can go that way if he wants, we’re going this way” said Noah’s wife indignantly.

Arriving at the Farm(shop) the ‘animals’ were greeted by a ‘smorgasbord’ of goodies of biblical proportions ready for our delectation. While chomping merrily a discussion regarding the return route ensued. “There’s two options” declared Noah as we began to leave the ‘trough’. “Back into the wind to Huggate or round by Watton” he declared before adding “I’m going by Watton”. In the end three ‘animals’ decided to venture further out to Huggate while the rest followed Noah.

It wasn’t long before another ‘escape’ attempt was made. This time it was Noah’s wife who was about to take the turn off to Skerne instead of straight on to Watton. On reaching the main road, the ‘animals’ split into two groups of four for the short dash to the Kilnwick junction. Just as we started to turn left towards Lockington, Noah’s wife commented with a puzzled look “Why are we going left? I thought we were going to Brandesburton for Ray”………Nurse!

After Lockington we returned to Bracken lane to follow our ‘usual’ route home via South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton. Back in the ‘ark’, all the animals agreed it had been a very pleasant day out despite the cool northwesterly wind.