KING OF THE MOUNTAIN
TIME TRIAL
SPRINT CHALLENGE
Game of Thrones Season 2022
The Court of the Polkadot King
Sunday’s ride saw the Knights return to Allerthorpe for the second time this week. With many roads closed off for the Beverley 10k & fun run, it was decided to meet at the Molescroft Inn with a second group joining up at Cherry Burton.
By the time we set off towards Etton we’d accumulated a “baker’s dozen”. Not sure if it was the sunny weather or the prospect of challenging the mountain King⛰️👑 that brought so many out of the “woodwork” but it was an impressive sight to see so many out in club kit.
The first part of the journey was a rather genteel affair as everyone tried to conserve energy for the challenge to come. On reaching South Dalton we turned to pass through Dalton Park dodging potholes and the odd errant sheep 🐑 on our way to Kiplingcotes.
As we approached “base camp” the group pulled over, some taking the opportunity to “lighten” their load by watering the local vegetation. We then set off one by one to pay homage at the “Court of the Mountain King”. The “Polkadot Pants” are currently on the head of King Kong Kerrigan who back in April set an impressive time of 1:26 giving an average speed of 29.2kph (18.25mph). Would he match it today or indeed improve on his time? Would anyone get anywhere near challenging the “beast”. No was the short answer though he still managed to post the best time of the day (tired legs notwithstanding). In second place came Heather posting a time of 1:49 followed by Colin at 1:54 and Pugwash at 1:58. Regrouping at the top there were a few “King Crimson” faces while we all recovered from the effort. 🥵
Once we’d all regrouped we set off down the “mountain” into Market Weighton where we were joined by Zog who’d cycled up from the “deep south”. It wasn’t all downhill though as we had to negotiate our way up Intake Hill to Londesborough. There, we were met by groups of people on the roadside waiting for a “Tractor Parade”. “You might get through if you’re quick” they suggested. However by the time we reached the junction down towards Burnby we could see the convoy already on the way up to Nunburnholme top.
The tractor drivers were clearly in good fettle as they each greeted us with a blast of the horn and a cheery wave as they passed by. One even managed to sound a bit like the “Dukes of Hazard”. There must have been around eighty as we waited patiently for the road ahead to clear. Soon enough, we were on the move again passing through Burnby and Hayton towards Bielby before turning along Marketbridge Lane and over the Pocklington canal to the stop at Lakeside Cafe.
The return journey was said to be “Matt’s” route so he was “volunteered” to lead the way. He obviously takes his “duty” seriously as he led from the front as we retraced our steps back to Bielby and Everingham at a fairly brisk pace. Eventually others took turns on the front as we made our way through Harswell and onwards to North Cliffe. After a quick “hop” up the main road we turned towards Sancton.
On reaching Sancton, we were once again delayed as the road was blocked by police escorting an abnormal load on the road from Newbald to Market Weighton.
When the Transporter finally passed, it was followed by a long queue of cars stretching almost all the way back to North Newbald, fortunately we had already crossed the road to wait at the base of Sancton hill so were able to set off towards Newbald without further delay.
The final leg on the homeward journey saw the Knights taking the “easier” hill out of Newbald. “Aren’t we going up Trundlegate?” queried one lonely voice. A deadly silence followed with heads buried and a determined spin of the wheels to avoid any over enthusiastic voices of assent.
Freewheeling to Millington
This Sunday’s ride saw the Knights heading to Millington and a chance to take part in the “Freewheel Challenge”. Twelve Knights set off from Market Cross picking up Brian on the way to Molescroft.
Our route today was arranged to make best use of the wind direction. The first leg took us north east up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. A brief sojourn into the wind from Lund to the Bracken road before heading north to Southburn.
The next leg was a wind assisted long steady climb to Tibthorpe then onwards to Huggate. At this point the peloton slowly stretched out eventually regrouping at the top of Millington Dale. This was the start point for the “Freewheel Challenge”. The challenge is simple, set off down Millington Dale and without pedaling see how far you can get.
To ensure there is no cheating Neil had brought along a packet of cable ties to secure the pedals in place. One or two chose to do so but most of us did not feel comfortable so it was left to trust. Neil left first to set the initial bench mark and judge the overall outcome. One by one we all headed down hill. Speed picks up very quickly at the start however you soon reach a sharp right hand bend. To brake or not to brake? Depends how mad or brave you feel. A little further on just when you start to slow down along comes another downhill to speed you up again. On this occasion the wind was also a helpful factor leading us to manage about 2.2 miles.
So who won I hear you ask. Kudos on this occasion go to Stephen P who wins a breakfast of his choice. Some called for a “stewards inquiry” to determine if using a little “off-road” section near the end to gain a final boost should be allowed, not least because he won by around 30m.
After refreshments at the Ramblers Rest, the return journey took us on a lovely sweeping descent down “The Mile” into Pocklington. Thereafter we passed through Burnby, Londesborough and Market Weighton. It was then time to head into the wind while we made our way home via Kiplingcotes, Etton and Cherry Burton.
Quick March to Fitling
“Right troops!” cried out the Sergeant Major “I’m looking for volunteers to head out to the mystical Eastern front. Sign here on the dotted line if you’re up for it”. Given the continuing sunny forecast, it was no surprise to see so many joining up.
Twelve Knights formed today’s squad meeting at Market Cross. “ATTENTION!” yelled our RSM, “Now you all know where we’re going, usual route to Weel Bridge and Tickton… Move it, move it, move it! Can’t have you hanging around here enjoying the sunshine and shooting the breeze!” “Shouldn’t we let them know we are coming?” ventured one helpful squaddie. “Oh yes, perhaps we should. Here’s the number”.
The thought of facing a constant cool head wind did not dampen the spirits as we set off in search of some “ducks🦆🦆”. Despite the breeze we still managed to make good progress using whatever hedge protection appeared around us. It wasn’t until we hit ‘Swine Lane’ that we felt the full force of the “barrage” from the east over the open fields.
“Right, Left, Right, Left, Right” rang out as we marched our way through Skirlaugh heading to Old Ellerby. “Right, Right, Left, Right” sounded in our ears as we passed Burton Constable eventually turning onto Moor Lane. Now on a lovely smooth surface and with the wind slightly behind the tempo increased “Quick March”. Unfortunately it was all too brief as we turned once more towards Humbleton and our final destination.
After restocking in the NAAFI it was time to be ‘🎶On the Road Again🎶’ with some heat canning down from the unbroken sunshine. Retracing our route back to Humbleton it was “Quick March” time once more as we now had the wind in our favour. From there, the squad passed through Sproatley around the back of Burton Constable eventually reaching Coniston.
Once we’d dodged the ‘convoy’ of ‘enemy tanks’ 🚙🚗🚚 on the Hull Road the squad ‘marched’ through Swine to return following our outward route.
After the “photo 📸 parade” the squad ‘yomped’ north to Routh where we again encountered a heavy bombardment as we fought our way over the main road and onto the cycle path. All too soon, Friday’s campaign came to an end and the squad headed back to barracks.
Popping Round to Ginger Cow
This Friday’s ride was a long awaited return to the Ginger Cow cafe which is now only operating as a “pop up cafe”, on this occasion Friday and Saturday. The forecast was for clear blue skies and the warmest day of the year so far and with light winds, it was ideal cycling weather.
Matt was so keen that he was first to ‘pop’ up with a message asking if anyone else was planning to ride. Like the opening of a cork on a bottle, a number of messages popped up in response. Seven Knights initially signed up to join the ride until Captain Flip-flop ‘popped’ a spanner in the works by calling off only to rescind that decision an hour later prompting a comment from someone “Bloody hell, I don’t know if I’m coming or going”. Shortly after, Raymond cried off leaving just six in the group ride.
We set off from Manor House at 0945 heading towards Cherry Burton and Etton. The next leg took us via Kiplingcotes to Goodmanham and Market Weighton. Shortly after, on the way to Londesborough there was another ‘pop’ as the Pugwash’s rear tyre ‘let him down’. Pulling over into a layby we set about the repair. When the tube was removed, Matt noted a previous repair and started to make derogatory references to Pugwash’s Scottish heritage. This was not helped when the replacement tube also had a patch, then to compound the stereotype the gas canister turned out to be empty. “Yes, you’ll get a few more uses out of that” they all suggested sarcastically. Fortunately I did have another and we were soon on the way once more.
From Londesborough we headed towards Burnby and Hayton. When we reached the crossroads of the A1079 main road the group split in two. The time gap since our last visit clearly showed when the “following” group started to head towards Bielby Lane. Fortunately the other half remembered the correct road to take while the rest played “catch up”.
Suitably refreshed, it was time to ‘pop’ to the loooo’s before continuing our way to Everingham and Harswell. After a short hop along the Market Weighton Road we turned towards North Cliffe before a pacy run up to the Sancton turn off. At Sancton James, on a rare Friday outing, started to turn up Sancton hill before being redirected along the main road to Newbald.
Seems nobody fancied Trundlegate as we played “Follow the leader” and headed home along the easier Beverley Road. A superb day in the saddle with a faster pace than normal for a Friday ride. Now back home and ready to ‘pop’ the cork on one’s favourite fizzy.
When I Were A Pro
Ten Knights signed up for this Friday’s ride to Cranswick via Huggate and Tibthorpe however someone failed to get out of bed in time for the start at Manor House but managed to join us en-route at Cherry Burton. The unbroken sunshine was struggling to lift the temperature but helped maintain the spirits of the group as we headed into the cool North West wind towards Holme-on-the-Wolds.
While heading towards Middleton-on-the-Wolds we nearly lost Barry, who’d made a lone “breakaway” up front then started to take a wrong turn before a kindly shout brought him back to the peloton.
The next section was a bit of a roller coaster towards North Dalton. The “breakaway” this time was led by Pugwash along with Steve and Mike. We eventually stopped opposite the old Star Inn pub to regroup. We thought it strange when there was no sign of the rest. Turns out Colin managed to hit the deck while manoeuvring his water bottle on a downhill section. Fortunately he suffered only superficial wounds but had to abandon and was assisted home by Barry.
On the next leg up to Huggate the breakaway consisted of Steve and Iain while the rest of us sauntered in their wake. “This hill is not so bad at this speed” suggested the chairman of the “I Hate that Hill Club”. Finally we turned downwind as we dodged the potholes on the road down to Tibthorpe.
While in the Farm Shop cafe at Cranswick the conversation turned to Pro cycling, “What sort of speed do the pro’s reach on downhill sections?” asked one. At which point, the experienced voice of Raymond piped up “Well, when I was a pro…” There was a brief pause before the whole table erupted in laughter. “Was it something I said” he thought before continuing to to suggest speeds reaching 95mph. 🤔
When we eventually returned to the road, the temperature felt as if it had dropped a couple of degrees as we once again faced the head wind on the way along Burnbutts. A little later as we reached the next junction, Raymond took up “policeman” duties to guide us across. Just as he set off to follow us there was a load groan “aaaaah” “You in the wrong gear Raymond?” we asked. “Yes” he responded then added “When I was a pro… my coach always used to tell me to check the gear before setting off”.
We then continued along the Bracken road returning to South Dalton along Mere Lane. On the hill south bound to Etton, Michael decided to make a break for it closely followed by Matt. Head down with a following wind, Michael looked like a man on a mission, even Matt gave up the “chase”. “I’ve got ‘live’ Strava segments” he explained later when we’d all regrouped at Etton.
On the final climb at Bishop Burton Matt made a break for the front. No one else had the inclination 😒 to tackle the inclination to chase him down and just tootled up, well at least that’s our excuse and we’re sticking to it.
You Are Cordially Invited….
The invitations started arriving in the inbox early on Monday morning. “Anyone fancy a ride out to Sledmere on Tuesday? RSVP”. When the responses began rolling in, one of our number must have been mistaken on the type of event “What’s the dress code and which +1 should I bring?” he enquired. Cue for some ribald replies. “A bike with two wheels” was the first suggestion, “Top hat and Tails not needed, your plus one can be as naked as the day you bought it” thought others.
Ten Knights gathered at Manor House for the 0945 start. After the warmish weather of recent days it was back to long trews and sleeves as the temperature failed to reach double digits. After outlining the route, we all set off towards Cherry Burton and Etton. With the light wind coming from the east, it gave us a slight assistance as we waltzed our way up to Holme-on-the-Wolds.
With the first “dance” out of the way out was time to head for Middleton-on-the-Wolds. Next on the “dance card” was a lively foxtrot (slow, slow, quick, quick, slow) taking us to North Dalton.
Following a brief stop to regroup, we returned to the “dance floor” under the watchful “eye” of “David Bailey” 👁️ 📸 leading our partners on a “Vienese Waltz” up to Huggate to the melodic sounds 🎶 of “I hate that Hill” and the other classic “Here We Go Again”. Our progress was made a little easier however with the wind coming from behind instead of the usual headwind
When we’d all regrouped at the top and recovered, it was time for “the Jive” down to Wetwang. A fairly fast pace dance with a little ‘kick’ at the end. After weaving our way through the back road it was time for the main event, a “ballet” to the top of Life Hill. “Le Danseur Premier” on this occasion was Chad as he slowly and steadily put distance between himself and the “Coda”.
On the finale up to Claypits Wood, Captain Calamity managed to come a cropper once again when his chain snapped half way up the hill. Unable to unclip in time, toppled over landing ungracefully on his derriere. A slight bump on the bonce and scratches on hand and elbow to show for the effort. “You’re bleeding!” cried Neil “I’ll get you a plaster” he added helpfully. “Well what do we do now?” we thought “Anyone got a chain splitter?”. Seems we all have one but at home. Only thing left to do was call for international rescue.
Fortunately Heather spotted a white van parked near the top of the hill and used her wonderful charm to ask if the driver would mind transporting the captain along with bike the final mile to the cafe at Sledmere. A short time later as the remaining group set off to return home, the captain loaded his bike into the car to be driven home by his loving wife. 💕
Men At Arms
(Apologies to Terry Pratchett) The “call to arms” was issued on Thursday night urging all those able to assemble at Market Cross for a sojourn to the far East. “The purpose of this trip is to demonstrate that our ‘disc’ can indeed be flat” mused Lord Vetinari. It was a cool morning with a bit of a breeze and the sun occasionally poking through.
“Right flat earthers, are we happy with the proposed route?” enquired Vetinari. Following on from his comments about “extra padding” for one member of the ‘watch’ turning out in shorts, instead of flat earthers he may have been thinking ‘fat arsers’.
Six ‘men of the watch’ departed from Market Cross transiting our usual route through town via Weel Bridge to Tickton where a further two members joined in. The journey east continued along the cycle path to Whitecross roundabout with wind coming from the side. The next section saw the pace picking up slightly as the wind gave a little assistance through Leven and Brandesburton and onwards to Bewholme.
“Decision time men” cried Vetinari “Shall we go via Skipsea or the shorter route via Beeford?” he asked. A few voices were happy with either choice but eventually one voice piped up “I need to get home earlier” so with that, the decision was made. With the wind now firmly behind us, progress was a little easier as we headed to Skipsea Brough.
The next segment took us through Beeford and on towards Foston-on-the-Wolds. Confusion reigned when we arrived at the junction of the B1249. First one “constable” set off directly across to take the ‘dead end’ road to Brigham while another shouted “Wrong way” before turning left and heading off the wrong way himself much to the amusement of everyone else. “Who was that?” I hear you ask. Suffice to say that they both had the same first name! 😂 There’s obviously something in a name.
Back on (right) track we headed to Wansford then to Skerne. From then it was into the wind until we thankfully arrived at the Farm Shop cafe at Hutton Cranswick. After we’d munched our way through our various choices while setting the world to rights, it was time to face the adverse wind on the way home. To make matters worse, the wind was now steadily increasing in strength ahead of the approaching weather front 🌬️☔ definitely not a welcome addition for anyone with tired legs.
The “watch” battled their way over Bracken and eventually into South Dalton, Etton and Cherry Burton regrouping at various junctions on the way.
“Well men” intoned Vetinari “Is the earth flat?” he asked. A few grunts of agreement ensued. It was noticeable however that the question was posed before we tackled “Granny’s Hump”, always a tough one when you’ve already got forty+ miles in your legs. Another enjoyable ride and back in plenty time to beat the forecast afternoon rain.
January Social Knight
This Friday saw Beverley Knights Cycling Club social get together at Beverley Town Cricket club. A great chance to catch up with members in a non cycling environment. It was also an opportunity to announce the “winners” of the various challenges held through 2021.
Following a “Pie & Pea” supper the Prize giving commenced with chairman Neil taking the floor. His task was made all the more difficult this time with the introduction of various age and gender categories within the challenges.
First up in the KOM challenge, winner of the ‘past champions’ award of the “Spotty Pants” went to Olivier with a superb time of 7:15 and a speed of 27.7kph. The 40 – 60 age group was won by Neil Z (aka Zog), the 60+ title was won by Iain G while the 70+ crown went to Steve G. In the ladies category the QOM went to Heather.
Next up was the result of the Sprint challenge with the ‘past champions’ award of the “Green Pants” going to Chris Shep with a time of 52s giving him a speed of 52.1kph. First in the under 40 category was Alex Lee and in the 40-60 category was Michael K, the fastest in the 60+ age group was Barry D while the 70+ crown was taken Seadog Dave. The leading lady in this category went once again to Heather.
The weather and various covid restrictions last year meant that there were not many attempts at the “Shark’s Tooth” time trial. For those who did make the effort, the fastest time of 18:17 was set by Olivier giving him an average speed of 35.4kph. The 60+ title went to Pugwash while the 70+ title taken by Jim S.
The final prestigious category of the “Yellow Pants” award went to Paul W for his efforts in organising the Monday night rides and assisting new members to the club.
To round off a wonderful evening we held a quiz which had been set by question master Raymond to test our observational skills and knowledge of Beverley. After our twenty questions there was a three way tie between the various table teams. To settle the “bragging rights” an additional tie break question saw Paul’s team taking the kudos.
Captain Zig Zag and the Friday Knights
“The end of the year is nigh! Anyone up for a final ride of 2021 please sign on the dotted line” cried captain Greybeard. “Only one problem, you can fight among yourselves for the honour of Team Leader/Route Master”. First hat in the ring came from Captain Smithy, “I’m in” he claimed. A more definitive answer came from Captain Zig Zag who suggested a route to the Farm Shop at Hutton Cranswick. “The jobs yours” thought everyone else.
A total of eight Knights climbed aboard for the final ride of the year. Setting off from Market Cross at “three bells of the morning watch” (0930 for you landlubbers) the “ship” set sail from Market Cross to Cherry Burton via Molescroft. A favourable wind on the port beam made for good progress. “Are we sure this is December? Feels more like summer time” was the general consensus.
Matthew “jumped ship” at Etton to return home alone while the fleet continued up to Holme-on-the-Wolds. While approaching the main road, a call from the captain “Zig right then Zig left” came just in time to prevent Andy heading the wrong way. Nearing to the Lockington turn off….. 📯Beeeeeeep!📯 “What was that? Have the bells sounded early?” No, it was an irate motorist who seems to have attended the farmer’s school of etiquette. “GET ORF MY ROAD!” It was the only conclusion we could come to since there was a clear wide road and nothing in the way.
“All the way to Lockington then we can decide where to go from there” said our stand in Friday captain. Once across the bridge in Lockington it was decision time. “We can zig left here then zag right to Kilnwick followed by another zig left and zag right back on to the Bracken road”. Sounds like a plan we all agreed, at least we’d avoid the awful “Flanders Field” road.
Pugwash & Andy 
Mark & Heather 
Colin & Mike
From Bracken top along Burnbutts Lane the wind was now on the starboard quarter making progress somewhat easier. A final few zig zags and we arrived at the Farm Shop. As we were led to our table the waitress explained the ‘new’ procedures for service before adding “and it’s cash only today the card machine is not working”. You could almost hear the gasps of astonishment. “CASH? What’s that? We never use cash anymore”. Fortunately most of us had a little cash and were able to ‘sub’ those without. “Thanks for that Mark” said Neil “Just give me your bank details and I’ll refund you”. Responding as if he’d just received a spam email from some dodgy source “I don’t have my details with me, I’ll get back to you!” he replied.
The journey home was always going to be a bit tougher ‘tacking’ our way into the wind (zig zagging for you landlubbers). Heather took the lead most of the way back to Bracken Farm while the chivalrous Knights lived up to the expression “Ladies first”. On reaching the end of Bracken Lane another zig left and zag right took us back into Etton. All too soon we reached the end of another great ride.
Not all of the regular Friday Knighters were able to join in this final outing of 2021, however I’m sure we all agree that there have been many superb Friday rides throughout the year and our sincere thanks must go to Raymond for his route mastering. All that remains is for me to wish you all a very Happy New Year.