A Tale of Two Rides

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“It was the best of rides, it was the worst of rides…” Which one were you on? I suppose it depends on whether you’re in for the “long haul” or a “Hedge Fun” manager. The “long haulers” met up at “a different time and a different place” with the intention of meeting up at the cafe. Meanwhile the “Hedge Funders” congregated at Tickton Grange to celebrate the return of Ray (“Dalio”) from his “winter training camp” 🕶🍹🍻⛱️.

Ten Knights “invested” in the “shorting” following the usual route out to Leven and Brandesburton before taking the “standard deviation” via Dunnington to Skipsea Brough. After continuing through Beeford the “investors” found themselves with some “directional exposure” as there was a certain amount of “liquidity” reported on the road to Foston-on-the-Wolds. Shortly after clearing the mud strewn section, Neil suffered a “run on his fund” causing his tyre to deflate.

Repairs complete, the “investors” continued through Wansford and Skerne before pitching up at Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop. While the group were enjoying the “fruits of their investments” the five “long haulers” turned up dripping in sweat and looking exhausted having completed a hilly 40 miles. “Where have you been then?” enquired someone cheekily.

When it was time for the “investors” to leave, we left the “long haulers” to finish refuelling. While returning along Burnbutts Lane we encountered a ROAD CLOSED sign. “Now where do we go?” As we discussed options, Heather set off to see if there was a way through. Full of enthusiasm, she returned with the news that yes there was a way past the road block but “we’d have to go around the farm house“. Merrily we followed along behind her, however as we approached the road block expecting to find a farmyard or similar it was with dogged determination that Heather “ploughed” on through the farmer’s field while the rest followed like 🐑 🐏 🐑. As if that wasn’t bad enough we were suddenly confronted by a prickly hedge blocking the way.

Now we know what it is like to be be dragged through a hedge! “Who’s idea was this anyway?” was the general consensus not looking at anyone in particular. I’m not sure this sort of off-roading was included in the risk assessment. (At least the “long haulers” saw sense and took the alternative route.) Once safely back on the road we carried on with the ride returning home on our usual route via Bracken, South Dalton and Etton. The temperature had become quite pleasant with the sun making a bid for freedom through the clouds creating perfect cycling conditions and despite the “hedging”, the ride was most enjoyable and gave us all something to remember.

Mr Blue Sky

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🎶 Hey there Mr Blue! We’re so pleased to be with you… Everybody smiles at you 🎶 After weeks with the “curtains shut” the sun finally came out to play. Unfortunately it’s taken a little longer for the temperature to play along. As we gathered in the bus shelter by Walkington pond the heat generated by the early morning sun made it feel more like the Mediterranean. Six Knights set off on Matt’s proposed route to Gilberdyke facing a head wind all the way.

The initial leg took us over some undulating terrain to Little Weighton before continuing along Rowley road to Riplingham. After a final climb on Lambwell hill it was time for a long downhill on Elloughton Dale. After regrouping at the bottom there was a pause while the chatter flowed like a bunch of sailors swapping sea stories. In fact if we’d hung around much longer we be in danger of a parking ticket.

Leaving Elloughton behind, the pace picked up as the group headed along the flatter roads on the way to Ellerker and Broomfleet where we negotiated the potholes like someone picking their favourite sweets from a jar while dodging the rest. The “pick’n’mix” continued after leaving the Brickyard where we continued to work our way through more of the “sticky toffees” and “crunchy bits” on the way to Faxfleet. Eventually there was nothing left except the “smooth centres” leading us to Blacktoft…….and that’s where it all went wrong.

With Puggy on the front, he turned off following a sign clearly stating Gilberdyke this way only to be later “hauled before the judge” accused of stealing part off the route. “Sorry m’lud were we supposed to go via Yokefleet?” he enquired sheepishly. “I can only plead guilty but in my defence m’lud you did say we’d be in the cafe at 1145 and I believe we arrived bang on time”. As judge Matty donned his “Blacktoft” to pronounce sentence he announced “Your punishment will be deferred to later on the ride”

At the Gilberdyke Garden centre we were met by Geoff updating us on his recovery progress while we tucked into our various food choices. When it was time to return home we were pleased to have the wind behind us. It was like someone had added “battery assist” as we easily cruised along through Newport at 20mph and onwards to North Cave. After breezing through Hotham we arrived at South Newbald.

“Right it’s time for your punishment” declared the judge as he produced a rope binding us all together. “It’s Trundlegate for you” he ordered. As we climbed “the gallows steps” the strain of “the rope” began to bite deep before “the threads” started to unravel. Sean was first on the way with Puggy desperately trying to “hang” on behind only to “drop off” as the climb hit the steep section. Colin showed some resilience as he “danced” his way upwards trying to avoid “the drop” as he set off in pursuit of Sean. On reaching the end of Whin Lane we stopped to recover and regroup while reflecting on our individual sense of achievement.

The final leg of our journey was an easy downhill with the wind behind back to the start point at Walkington. It was a pleasure to finally be out on a ride and not feel cold. Long may it last.

Desperately Seeking Sunshine

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You remember that big orange ball that appears in the sky 🌞 bringing warmth and happiness. Yes?… well you could be forgiven if not, as in our little neck of the woods, we’ve been shrouded for days…even weeks with a dull grey blanket of cloud. Some Knights even headed off abroad in the search for the “golden snitch” while the rest of us continue to shiver at home praying for some respite from the freezing damp conditions. With the “heating” turned off, the temperatures have stubbornly refused to rise much above freezing curtailing the attendance at our regular club rides.

There has been a number of intrepid Knights who have ventured out over the last couple of weeks but most of us have been in hibernation, like brown bears 🐻 waiting for the spring, avoiding any chance of “dicing on ice”, preferring to find solace and self-flagellation on a turbo-trainer in our “pain cave”. Today however our prayers were answered and the temperature soared to a balmy 15⁰c. Unfortunately “someone” must have thought it was a bit too hot and turned the fan on full blast. The wind turbines have been spinning round like whirling dervishes creating enough energy to power a rocket 🚀.

“The wind is just about on my max threshold” declared Michael 💪 “but I’m willing to give it a go” hoping to encourage others along. I suppose you do need someone to hide behind when the going gets tough. Not to be outdone, Colin decided to join in the “fun” (can’t have others racking up the miles without him). “Have you any last wishes Colin?” enquired Jim with tongue firmly in cheek. Perhaps he wanted Colin to gift him his bike in the event of the wind scooping him across the Styx. With the forecast giving wind speeds of 24mph gusting to 40mph there were no other “takers”.

Undeterred by all the doom laden warnings ⚠️ 🌬 the two set out from Market Cross straight into the teeth of the wind as they made their way south to Elloughton. They had some respite and assistance over the next leg when they headed westerly through North Cave to North Cliffe before turning towards Bielby. Instead of continuing to Allerthorpe they had a change of plan and turned to Hayton, Burnby then Londesborough before stopping off at the Fiddle Drill in Goodmanham.

After spending 3½ hours in the saddle they managed to cover around 50 miles although not without incident. Turns out Michael is determined to retain his 👑 as the Puncture King by suffering yet another flat. He did manage to impress Colin with his prowess in changing the inner tube. To be fair, he’s had plenty practice!! 😂 What was most impressive though, was the way Michael removed the thorn by sinking his teeth into the tyre like a man relishing a juicy steak 🥩 before spitting out the gristle. What’s more, he managed to put the tyre back on without levers (the power of the thumb 👍). All that time on YouTube has not been wasted then!

Hopefully I’ll see you all out on the road soon.

A Beast from the East

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Seven Knights turned out for Raymond’s Friday ride. “Weather’s looking good for a ride” he stated confidently in an effort to rouse up some company. When the morning dawned, we were greeted with a dull grey blanket covering the sky and a breeze from the east. After meeting up in Etton we set off towards Holme-on-the-Wolds. As we continued west with the wind on our backs we noted a number of farm vehicles along the road. The peaceful start to the journey was then suddenly interrupted with a series of very loud gun shots, BANG BANG BANG. Made us almost jump out of our skin. Glad I’m not a rabbit or hare or whatever they were shooting at or perhaps they were testing a bird scarer.

Shortly after, we noted the wind beginning to pick up indicated by a solitary windmill in the distance whirling away like a turbo-prop ready for take off. Meanwhile we were confronted by a large lorry filling the road space forcing us to pull over into a nearby passing place and an opportunity for Ray to check his bike.

The next leg from Middleton-on-the-Wolds to North Dalton is a rollercoaster road and was not made any easier with the wind coming from the side.

At North Dalton no-one fancied the longer route via Huggate so we turned towards Bainton. Then, it was like someone had opened a fridge door and ramped the fan up to full blast, so it was with some relief when we turned off the main road into Bainton and found some shelter, albeit briefly, among the housing. Leaving Bainton we had a mad dash to Hutton Cranswick where we stopped for refreshments at the Farm Shop.

Around the table the banter flew and none more so than when there was a misunderstanding regarding Led Zeppelin and a hydrogen balloon leaving a smile on our faces as we headed back into the cold. Unusually on this occasion for the first part of the return trip over Burnbutts Lane we had the wind behind. Just as we were heading along Bracken Lane the sun put in a brief appearance, peeking out from the grey clouds like a nosy neighbour through the curtains. The rest of the ride became a matter of survival as we returned home having covered around 40 miles with only the warmth of the company to help us along.

You Bean Toasted

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It’s been a while since we managed to get out for a decent Sunday club ride. In the absence of our ‘glorious leader’, Michael stepped up to the ‘plate’ to suggest a ride to the Ramblers Rest at Millington. Five Knights turned out at Etton for a lumpy outing. Given that some of us had not many miles in the saddle so far this year it was an ambitious ‘warm up’.

Our route took us first to Holme-on-the-Wolds then to Middleton. At this point we turned onto the climb along Warter road. We were soon reminded why we don’t use this road very often as the surface was more akin to a ploughed field at times. Eventually we reached the B1246 road. Our joy of the downhill cruise was soon over after passing through Warter where the road began to rise steadily towards Baggaby hill, a climb of around 1.6km (a mile for old schoolers) at an average of 5% and touching 15-16% briefly. To top that off, we turned towards Huggate and continued another climb of 0.8km averaging 7% reaching a max 12%. Kudos to Colin for posting the best time on the day.

Once ‘over the top’, we turned down into Millington Dale. Any thoughts of trying the ‘freewheel challenge’ were soon dismissed as we faced what felt like a howling gale along along the valley with James and Sean taking the brunt of it while the rest of us tucked in behind. Cheers lads. After a final little climb near Millington woods we arrived at Ramblers Rest ready for refuelling.

I’m not sure what inspired our choice of sustenance but there was definitely a ‘whiff’ of Blazing Saddles about it. Perhaps we were hoping for a turbocharged ‘blaaaaaast’ up the hills on the way home. We certainly could’ve done with some assistance as we hit Nunburnholme hill for the first time this year. Whose idea was that anyway? On this occasion Sean showed everyone a clean pair of heels, reaching the top over a minute ahead of the pack.

Following a brief respite we set off again towards Londesborough and another climb up Intake Hill leading to Market Weighton. Thereafter we followed the more gentle inclines of the Kiplingcotes valley back to Etton. I don’t know about the others, but I felt ‘toasted’ and had to gently ‘spin the legs’ for the final few miles home to stave off twinges of cramp. Still, it was a rather enjoyable ride including some ‘new’ routes.

The Big Freeze

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…. it’s almost over! Yee hah! Come on! Mount up! Get out there once again. Time to start burning off all the extra baggage acquired over the festive period. So it was with enthusiasm I headed into the garage to check over the winter bike. Brakes ✔️, Lights ✔️, Mudguards ✔️, Garmin ✔️, Water ✔️, Tyres… maybe just a little top up required. Mmm, something wrong with the valve on the rear tyre. 🤔 Never mind the pressure is still holding 💭 so off I set. I’d only gone about about 100 yards when I began to feel “something was wrong”. Sure enough, the rear tyre had gone flat.

Returning home, I sent a message to let everyone know I’d be a little late arriving then set about replacing the affected inner tube. Shortly after, I was ready to set off again. Twenty minutes to get to Etton for the 10am start. I’ll give it my best shot but the God’s of fortune were not with me. First obstacle was a line of traffic blocking the way to Lairgate, so decided to take a different way round only to be confronted with red traffic lights at every stop. Eventually out of town heading towards Cherry Burton ☎️ bzzzz. It was Neil “Are you nearly there yet?”. Shortly after setting off again, all traffic was being held up while a tree at the roadside was being felled then… finally a clear run to Etton. Thanks for waiting everyone.

The day was damp with some icy patches reported but we still had a good turn out at the start for a short trip to Hutton Cranswick Farm Shop. Heading initially to South Dalton we turned passing the “duck pond” to make our way over to Bracken Lane. It was great to “catch up” with everyone again and how they all coped with the “Big Freeze” and the festive period.

After our cafe stop we found that the puncture fairy had paid a visit to Russ who promptly upended his bike to effect a repair. Getting the tyre off proved the most difficult task but with everyone chipping in with assistance Russ was ready to roll. By this time the main group had been whittled down to five and we set off on the back roads via Top Hill Low to Watton. Probably not the best choice of road with numerous potholes and mud everywhere but at least the sun tried to peak through for the final leg of our journey via Lockington back home.

Tis The Season….

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…. to be “superstitious” ? Well it is Friday the 13th after all. WHAT! You’re not superstitious? Perhaps you should ask Neil about it. While the rest of us “rolled” up to the start at Walkington Pond, Neil arrived more with a bumpity bumpity feeling. “Something wrong with my tyre” he declared before upending his bike to check it out. Two gas canisters later there was no improvement in the twisted tyre so he decided to abandon and head home. “I’ll try and catch you up later” he said hopefully as the group set off to follow his designated route.

First up, we headed up Northgate ramp turning left to reach Middlehowe road and the gentle climb to the memorial wood. “Is it straight on here, then right to Newbald down Burgate?” asked Colin. As we were debating and checking the instructions, Heather said “I thought it was right”. After rereading the route instructions to confirm, we set off along Wold road to pick up Walkington Heads.

As we rolled towards North Newbald, we came to a wet muddy section on the road. Suddenly Pugwash found himself splattered with mud from GEOFF’s rear wheel and his inadequate mudguard. By the time he’d dropped back out of the way his frontage resembled the breast of a song thrush.

The ride continued to South Newbald then on to Hotham and North Cave. On reaching the junction of the main road, we split into two groups for the run along the busy B1230 regrouping again just before Newport. The final leg to Gilberdyke Garden Centre cafe took no time at all, in fact, we were so early we began to wonder if the cafe was open yet as the staff still seemed to be busy “setting up”.

After the cafe break there was dissension in the ranks. “I don’t like that Brickworks road and suggest we go back the way we came” said one rider at which point there were many nods of agreement while others wanted to keep to the original planned route. Just as it looked like we were going to split into two groups a compromise suggestion was made by GEOFF to start back the way we came, but then turn off at Wallingfen Lane to get to Ellerker. At the end of the lane we were faced with a choice, left to Ellerker or right to Broomfleet then Ellerker. Eventually we headed to Broomfleet to resume the original route. Well that was a mistake as we got stopped waiting for a train not just at the Broomfleet crossing but also the Cave crossing. “That’s why I suggested going left to Ellerker” said GEOFF helpfully.

After Ellerker we took the Brantingham road into Elloughton. It was then that our “work” really began as we headed up the High road towards Welton. If that wasn’t enough to warm you up we then continued to climb up towards Riplingham. It was at this point the ride began to split up with three following the original route via Eppleworth, Skidby and Little Weighton, while the rest took a more direct route home.

Xmas Tapas Ride

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Well talk about a “jammy sandwich”, no nothing to do with the tapas, but the weather. It turned out to be a cool but sunny day sandwiched between two slices of soggy wet and windy days. Ten Knights took advantage and turned out for the start of this Friday’s ride to the Fiddle Drill at Goodmanham for Xmas Tapas.

After setting off we headed to South Dalton with Heather 😬 leading the way. “Straight on here Heather! ….. Left turn here Heather!” shouted Russ encouragingly from behind. Once we’d regrouped after passing through the gates into Dalton park, Neil zoomed off ahead. “Where’s he going?” queried someone. “Photo Op time” came the reply but as Neil disappeared around a bend in the road we began to wonder how we’d know when he was ready. Not to worry though, just as we were about to mount up there was a mighty roar from the distance.

On leaving the park, we turned left towards Kiplingcotes where by luck or by design we were joined by Colin, just in time for the climb up Arras hill and over to Sancton. Regrouping at the bottom of the hill, we waited for an opportunity to dodge the traffic to get to Houghton lane which then took us to Cliffe Road. “Left here to North Cliffe then right to Harswell and Everingham” advised Neil, however by the time we reached Market Weighton road it was felt that there wasn’t enough time to complete the intended route and still arrive on time at FD. Michael and Colin left the group at this point going to Allerthorpe instead while the rest headed for Pocklington along the busy A614 with Stephen peeling off home via Market Weighton. By the time we arrived at the Fiddle Drill we had five minutes to spare and the group was now down to six. Even a picture of the tapas was not enough to encourage others to join us except for Sean and wife Gillian who’d made their own way to the cafe.

Although Jim didn’t partake in the tapas he decided to join us for his version of “Dine & Dash” except he did a forgetful “Tea & Flee” instead. While five of us tucked into our wonderful tapas plate, Neil had decided to ‘share’ one with Heather, however as we struggled to finish ours, we found his beady eyes swivelling in our direction. “Are you not going to eat that?” he enquired before swooping in vulture like, mopping up some of the left overs.

After a very enjoyable Xmas Tapas it was nearly 1.5hrs before we were ready to set off home again. “Which way are we going back?” asked somebody and with general approval the reply was “Shortest and quickest” which in this case was along the Kiplingcotes valley to Etton. Many thanks to the staff at the Fiddle Drill for making such a festive table.

What’s ‘Eating Gilbert Dyke?

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Having been confined to “barracks” for a number of days, due to in part to icy conditions then by a battering from storm Bert, it was no surprise to see a good turn out for this Tuesdays ride to Gilberdyke. Our rendezvous point was Walkington pond where we huddled together in the bus shelter. The sun was shining but the slight breeze made the 4°c feel more like zero degrees. The last to arrive was Russ and Stephen both wearing matching ensembles making them look like they’d just come from auditions for the latest episode of “Orange is the New Black”.

Nine Knights set off up Kirk Lane heading for Little Weighton with Graham and Matty setting the early pace. They must have been feeling the cold as they soon had the group spread out before stopping to regroup when we turned onto Rowley Road. “OK Matty we’re all here, let’s go!” came the shout from behind “MATTY!…MATTY!… oh never mind off we go”. On reaching the end of Rowley road, we were waiting for an opportunity to exit the junction when a kindly van driver stopped to let us out, probably much to the chagrin of the traffic behind. In the kerfuffle of the mass scramble to get going, there was a squeal of concern from Heather as she narrowly avoided touching wheels with Matt. Later as we emerged from the junction at the bottom of Welton Dale we had a ‘reprise’ when Puggy 😳 got caught in the wrong gear heading up Elloughton High road impeding her progress. At this point we waved goodbye to Stephen who continued into Welton.

On “Top of the World” (aka Elloughton High Road)

Coming onto the main road at Elloughton we split into two groups while making our way to Ellerker along the Brough/Cave road. After regrouping, we continued through Ellerker to Common Road where we said goodbye to Matty.

Our ride to Broomfleet was interrupted at the railway crossing where we had a triple whammy of trains. Following a short break we continued to the Brickworks along a lane called “The Landings”. Given the state of the road surface it must have been named after the lunar landings. Having safely negotiated our way through, we arrived at the Gilberdyke garden centre

When we’d all had our fill it was time for the return journey. Along the busy main road through Newport we formed a “steady away” chain gang until reaching North Cave. At this point Geoff left the group to continue home on his own while the rest headed along Townend lane towards Hotham.

Unfortunately there was some misunderstanding over the directions which resulted in three of us heading along Hotham road while the three at the back turned to Nordham and through Hotham park. When we regrouped outside the Hotham Arms “referee” Neil ‘blew his whistle’ and showed the ‘yellow card’ to Puggy. “We agreed at the cafe we’d go through the park” advised Neil. “But referee!!…” cried Puggy proverbially flailing around for any excuse before trotting out the oft used adage “…but we always go that way”. Meanwhile Chad was trying to sink into the background muttering “Don’t blame me, I was only following the wheel in front”.

The final leg of the journey took us home through South and North Newbald and along Beverley road to complete another enjoyable ride in great company. Till next time….