“Ladies and gentlemen, roll up, roll up for the inaugural ‘Formula 1¾’ to be held at the Brands Hatch circuit to Hornsea!” cried Matt. When the ‘competitors’ gathered on the start grid at Market Cross, questions began to be raised. “Doesn’t he mean Brandesburton?” asked one brave soul. “I’m sure it was a deliberate mistake” whispered another. As the appointed start time approached “Who are we waiting for?” enquired Neil. Just at that moment Graham arrived followed by Mark. “What time do you call this?” we all remarked mockingly before assembling on the ‘start grid’. Red light, Amber Light, Green go go go!
Racing into the first corner…. Oh a red light again, false start. Green again signalled the resumption of the days activities. Unfortunately those at the ‘back of the grid’ failed to get through on the first cycle. Luckily for them the ‘lead’ bunch were held up again at the rail crossing and the ‘magic roundabout’ allowing them to catch up. The ‘race’ then began in earnest heading over the Weel Bridge to Tickton Grange where there was an early ‘pit stop’ to allow Dave 💦🏠 to join in the fun.
The ‘race marshal’ eventually got things underway once more as we “loitered” through Leven ‘straight’ and “bombed” through Brands Hatch hill round to ‘Bewholme Chicane’ where the ‘Red flag’ came out once more allowing the ‘competitors’ to regroup before continuing to Bewholme. Turning south from there, the pace picked up slightly as the minds of the ‘race crew’ turned to thoughts of ‘refuelling’ at the Floral Hall ‘pit stop’.
When the ‘race’ resumed, the circuit continued south along the ‘Rolston Straight’ towards Mappleton. As the ‘battle’ to hit the front heated up, a breakaway trio of Stephen, Melvin and Mark opened up slight gap on the ‘main field’. Unfortunately for them they hadn’t done they’re homework. Just before they were about to turn off at Mappleton (cos we always go that way), shouts came from behind to keep them on the right track. “Straight on!” we all yelled bringing us onto the Cowden straight. Taking the advice literally, the leading trio went head down and then missed the shouts to direct them round ‘Cowden Corner’.
“Well what do we do now?” we asked each other. “There’s no sign of them”. After making several attempts to contact them, the ‘race marshal’ decided to resume the ‘race’ without them. “They’ll catch up eventually” we thought. Later, having completed an extended loop the “breathless” trio made contact shortly after ‘Hatfield Bends’ “sneaking” up behind, then nonchalantly moving through the field as if nothing had happened. “I thought we were going to Withernwick” said Stephen sheepishly when challenged on the “error of their way”.
A segment of ‘sector four’ of today’s circuit was closed due to road works so an alternative had to found to bring us back ‘on track’. The suggestion was to make a right turn at Long Riston and head for ‘Catwick Loop’ then swing back towards Leven. “Are you listening up front!?” Well, we never quite made it to Long Riston as the ‘race marshal’ guided the group right onto the Rise Road instead and along the bumpy, gravelly potholed road to Catwick. “Well I’ve never been along here before.” said Raymond wistfully. “Me neither” replied Neil before adding “…and we’re never coming again. It’s horrible!”
On reaching Leven, the ‘racers’ were then able to track back along ‘sector one’ of the ‘circuit’ leading into Tickton. As we regrouped on the corner Neil asked “Are we all here now? How many are we?” looking pointedly at ‘race marshal’ Matty. “I think so” he replied unconvincingly looking around at those assembled. “Maths was never my strong point.”
There may not have been a ‘chequered flag’ to greet the end of the ‘race’ but I’m sure we all reflected well on the beautiful spring weather and camaraderie which helped to make it another wonderful ride.