Who stole my hour in bed? Was that the reason for my sore head?Perhaps I’ll ride to Market Square, to see who else turns up there. First on scene was mountain Matt, keen and ready, well fancy that!

James and Mark were next to call, soon joined by Bob and Paul. Then we had a little wait, for Stephen who was running somewhat late. When all assembled on this Mother’s Day, it was time to set us on our way.

The wind from East did blow, so off to Hornsea we decided to go. Through Norwood and out to Routh, on the front taking turn and turn about. Along the way we passed a group, a gorgeous WOW ladies riding troupe.

South to Meaux then on to Riston, pedals pumping like a steam engine piston. Cutting the wind we continued on, till reaching the coast at Mappleton. To Williams Farm Kitchen we were bound, where many scones and cakes are to be found.

Soon it was time to head home, racing north on the way to Bewholme. With the wind behind we managed a spurt on, as we made our way to Catfoss and then Brandesburton.

Continuing through Leven we came upon, the same group of ladies making their way home. As we passed they pedalled for dear life, not to be outdone since it included my wife. On the final leg we followed the cycle path, and soon arrived home to a well earned bath.

“All hands on deck!”….. or at least it looked like it with a good turn out to witness the return of the Admiral following his recent refit and period in drydock. Equipped with the latest high-tech armour plating, he was keen to put it to the test. As soon as three bells of the morning watch struck, it was time for the fleet to depart.

“Anchors Aweigh! Hoist the mainsail” and the thirteen strong fleet set out to navigate the tricky waterway through town bound towards Weel Bridge. A “sedantry” pace was the order of the day, but with the wind astern, it was more leisurely than sedantry as the flotilla headed east to Whitecross roundabout.

Monsignor John experienced some technical difficulties with his seat post slipping at this point and had to “heave to” in order to effect adjustments. While captain Pugwash remained with him, the rest of the fleet continued onwards. With repairs complete, it was time to rig full sail and set off in hot pursuit of the flotilla.

Pugwash in his summer “clipper ship” set a strong pace as the “lantern rouge” made a valiant effort to return to the main fleet. Passing through Leven and Brandesburton, the wind turned more to the port beam, but undeterred, we maintained full sail until regrouping at North Frodingham. It was with some relief when we sighted the main group on the horizon and a chance to “reef” the sails.

By this time, the fleet had grown to fifteen with the addition of Dave and Jenny. Captain Greybeard in his vintage galleon and retro sails, set off early along with three other vessels. After phoning ahead with the provisions requisition, it was time for the rest of the fleet to continue to the destination port at Bell Mills cafe. The “order of the day” seemed to be “thrown overboard” as Mark and the vice admiral took to the front to set a blistering pace with the rest hanging on behind.

Along the way, we caught up with Greybeard who’d suffered a breach in the hull and had careened his vessel to effect repairs. The main fleet continued onwards under full sail leaving the smaller flotilla to render assistance.

On arrival at the cafe, the fleet berthed outside in the sunshine. With the advantage of preordering, the provisions were ready quickly. Greybeard’s temporary repair managed to get him to the cafe but further “caulking”, provided by the Admiral, was required to seal the tear in the hull. While these repairs were ongoing, further provisions appeared in the form of a bacon roll🥓🍟. Chris could not believe his luck when nobody else laid claim.

Soon it was time to leave the warmth of the suntrap. Jim, recently returned from his “navigational skills” training with British Airways, decided to enhance the mood with a sea shanty. 🎶”Heave away, haul away we’re bound for South Australia”🎶……. eh…. Don’t you mean South Dalton?

A more leisurely pace ensued as the flotilla sailed on a starboard tack through Skerne and Cranswick. The fleet then turned into Burnbutts Lane on a close tack. Unfortunately the turn was missed by Monsignor John who completed the voyage along the main channel. At the top of Bracken hill the flotilla had stopped to wait his arrival while Chainsaw Dave retraced our tracks in search, only to return with no sign of the missing vessel.

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The return journey saw the fleet passing through South Dalton and Etton. The size of the fleet diminished bit by bit as each vessel proceeded to their home port. Despite the few mishaps, everyone enjoyed a superb spring day and look forward to the next outing.

“The train 🚂 now standing at Market Cross, is the 0930 to Millington, calling at Etton, Market Weighton, Londesborough, Burnby, Nunburnholme, Kilnwick Percy and Millington”. “All abooooard”. “Anyone without a valid travel pass should leave the train 🚉 now”. Those were the days, thanks Dr Beeching 🙄.

Jonathan, recovering from recent surgery turned out to see the departing train. Also on the platform was Nick, along with recent family addition. Hopefully we will see them both join the train once more in the near future.

Five carriages joined up for the journey. “Matt, the Rocky Mountaineer” took up the initial pace setting, as the train headed over the Westwood on the Newbald Road. Clickety Clack, Clickety Clack went the “Flying Scotsman” who then took to the front after Manor House until superceded on reaching the “railroad” crossing at Bishop Burton, when the Rocky Mountaineer performed a slick maneuver, dodging the traffic like a youngster with no fear, while the rest of the carriages waited for a safer chance to cross.

Mike the” Yorkshire Pullman” followed by Stephen the “Ulster Express” and Paul the “Scarborough Flyer” set off in hot pursuit once the way was clear. The going got a little tough as the train turned into the wind towards Kiplingcotes. We did have some brief assistance from passing express train, however with his extra power available we soon fell back.

The Rocky Mountaineer, showing impressive form, continued to take the lion’s share of the pace setting until the Yorkshire Pullman changed tracks to head for Sancton and return to depot. As the train continued to Market Weighton the lead changed several times as each carriage took turns to “break wind” 😉.

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Climbing up Intake Hill the huffing and puffing made it sound like a steam train passing. The long downhill into Burnby was therefore welcome and a great chance to recover before turning towards Nunburnholme. The brief respite from the head wind was short lived as we turned head on once more as we proceeded to Kilnwick Percy.

The final outward leg was now in sight. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the buffet car is now open”. The Rocky Mountaineer took this as his cue and rushed off to book his place at the table. Corporal Jones would have been proud. With the sun shining the train decided to enjoy the open air.

All too soon it was time for the return journey, hopefully looking forward to some wind assistance. There was no sign of “leaves on the line” as we made our way along Millington Pastures, however there sufficient gravel, mud and rough road surface to hinder our passage. The Ulster Express and the Scarborough Flyer led the way gingerly through the Woodgate S-bend then along Millington Dale.

On reaching Huggate, the tail wind really kicked in as we headed towards Tibthorpe. 🎶 “The runaway train went over the hill and she blew “🎶 Woo Hooooooo. It was an exhilarating run into Tibthorpe with each carriage giving full gas. The rest of the journey saw the train pass through Southburn, Bracken and Etton before having a well earned rest back in depot.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the nth running of the Beverley Knights Alternative Kiplingcotes Derby. It goes nowhere near Kiplingcotes, its not flat and there’s no prize for the “winner” but let’s not split hairs. The runners and riders gathered as usual at Market Cross for the 0930 start. While the real Derby celebrated its 500th anniversary, our version however is somewhat more “recent” , although looking around at some of the riders you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise. 🤔

Ten riders set off towards North Newbald with Coppalot, sporting his summer livery, alongside DownShep setting the early pace. At the first junction a shout of “caaaaaar” went up repeated by several others making it sound like a load of sheep and brought an amused smile to those following behind. On the run into Newbald, Coppalot adopted his “side saddle” style to decrease his aerodynamic profile to try and gain an edge on the other runners. While not exactly elegant it did seem to be effective.

After regrouping, the “race” continued on to South Newbald then Hotham. While passing the church, Monsenior John had some trouble with his saddle. Feeling a little under the weather, he decided to abandon and return to his stable in Market Weighton while the rest of the runners continued through Hotham Park to reach North Cave.

The next obstacle was to negotiate through the chicanery of parked cars before heading to South Cave. On the way through Ellerker, Ming the Merciless had a sense of deja vu and thought he was heading to work once more. He even gained a sudden sense of navigation as he directed the “Derby” in the right direction on one occasion.

The flat section soon came to an end as we got the lower slopes of Elloughton Dale. The mantle was then taken up by DownShep and Ming the Merciless to lead the runners to the top. After regrouping we carried on to Riplingham. The next rider to abandon was Corporal Jones who returned to stables at the top of Lambwell Hill leaving the remaining eight to pass by Rowley Manor to Little Weighton.

The final furlong towards Risby was downhill with a following wind which led to an exhilarating finish as the riders pulled out all the stops to be first to put on the nosebag at the Folly Lake Café. Coppalot proved to be the hungrier of the lead runners.

Kerrigold took up photography duties while the riders grazed at the trough. Miss VP regaled us with tales of colts and fillies being taken on a mystery tour, which led to a general discussion on raising offspring. All too soon it was time to head back to the stables. Another superb “Derby” with everyone looking forward to the next outing.

“Well top of the mornin’ to yez” and no sign of green anywhere. A beautiful clear and sunny sky greeted the few Knights who braved the windy conditions. Pugwash, Matt and DaveW were the first to arrive on parade, shortly joined by Dave and Jenny.

With westerly winds 🌬️, it was suggested a trip northwards to the Bike Cave may be best. The first part of the parade proved to be the easiest with the wind mostly behind, as we passed through town to Weel and Tickton.

At Leven through to Brandesburton, the side winds started assert pressure causing the occasional wobble as we passed gaps in hedges. Paddy McGinty’s goats, fresh back from mountain training, jumped onto the front to maintain a quick pace, while the rest clung on for dear life.

At North Frodingham the parade turned more towards the wind making the going much tougher. The original plan was to take a detour through Foston, Great Kelk and Nafferton however, due to the adverse wind we decided to head directly to Driffield. On reaching Wansford, Dave and Jenny turned off to head home, leaving the shamrock trio to continue for the waiting feast at the Bike Cave.

The return journey proved rather tougher with the winds generally against or on the starboard bow. Despite the strong wind, it was a pleasure to get out riding once more after a week or so of inclement weather.

Pancake day saw seven chefs turn out at the Bike Off tent (aka Manor House) to show off their skills. The opening challenge saw the bikers warming through led by chefs Bob and Heather as we headed to Walkington and on towards Bluestone Bottoms.

After regrouping at the top, chefs Russell and Pugwash took up the spatulas to lead the bikers up Comberdale Hill. On reaching the top, chef Alan seized his chance to turn up the gas on a solo challenge down into South Cave. When everyone had completed the initial task, it was time to prepare for the signature challenge .

On the Cliffe Road it was the turn of chef Raymond Le Blanc to step up to demonstrate what was required. Turning up the gas, he got to the front bringing the speed up to 20mph. After a few minutes he decided to take a “back seat” with a cheery “now that’s the way to do it”. Next on the front was chef Pugwash with the pace increasing to 23mph before peeling off to allow chef Bob to set the pan on fire and touching 26mph. Nearing the end of the challenge, chef Matt decided to show off his new found form and jumped to the front.

Next up was the “technical” challenge, as we had to find a way across Giant Bradley Way and into Market Weighton. Spotting a gap in the traffic, we made a dash to safety on the opposite side. Our efforts however, were greeted with hoots of derision from one irate motorist. Chef Heather had some slight technical issues which took a few minutes to sort out before the chefs proceeded to the final showstopper challenge.

Chefs Bob and Pugwash led the way as we took the Spring Road towards Kiplingcotes. Approaching the “ramp” chef Matt once again turned up the gas on a solo venture of the front. He was quickly chased down by chef Bob. Chefs Steve and Pugwash managed to maintain the pace but couldn’t close the gap.

The final section saw the bikers head through Etton to Cherry where Alan left the “tent” while the rest continued to the Newbald Road over the Westwood. Another chance for Matt to show off his descending skills before we all headed to cafe Velo.

“Coddling Catfish, how many ships have we today?” thought Captain Pugwash as he surveyed the assembled fleet. “Looks like a bakers dozen” after counting round. Route master Greybeard decided to abdicate navigational duties and cast his net for suggestions. “Careful what you wish for” sprang to mind as he allowed Captain Pugwash to take the lead.

Captain Evan Jones (A Welsh born pirate from New York) introduced a quizzical element regarding the cafe of choice, which had the fleet scratching heads for a few seconds, before agreeing that good plunder can be found there.

The fleet headed out towards Weel and Tickton with Anne Bonny, an Irish pirate alongside Mary Read, an English privateer, leading the way. On reaching the Tickton crossing, a huge “chapeau” to the lorry driver who stopped to allow our safe passage across the busy road.

The dull weather did not dampen spirits as the fleet continued through Meaux and on to Long Riston. Captain Greybeard suffered a mishap as we exited the underpass forcing him to careen his vessel to effect repairs to the hull.

Once underway again, captain Pugwash took up navigational duties, leading the fleet to Catfoss then Dunnington, a route which turned out to be rather muddy. A slight navigational error (“another one?”) took the fleet out onto the main road earlier than planned. At the junction it became apparent that some of the fleet had stopped and were no longer in sight. Captain “William Read” retraced steps to ensure all was well. Mud in the rigging had proved problematic for pirate John Russell.

The fleet regrouped at Beeford before continuing to North Frodingham. With time pressing, Evan Jones left the fleet to make his own way home. As we reached Wansford, “William & Mary Read” along with “Calico Jack” turned off to return home. The remainder of the fleet continued on to Driffield with an increasing hunger driving them ever onwards.

With full sails, the pace picked up as pirate “Black Bart” jumped onto the front maintaining a steady 20mph until approaching “Great Driffield”. It was then captain Hornigold took to the front for the final run into the Bike Cave. The sight of the wonderful refreshments on display was extremely welcome.

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Prior to departing, pirate “Jonathan Barnet” had some trouble with his wig, requiring some assistance from a young crew member to make some adjustments. Once the fleet had reassembled, we headed back to home ports through Skerne to Hutton Cranswick where Greybeard blew a raspberry salute as we passed TJs (oops Stove).

On reaching South Dalton, “Jonathan Barnet” took his leave while the rest continued to Etton. “Captain Kidd” along with “Elizabeth Swann” then decided to hit the front, leading the fleet to Cherry Burton. An enjoyable flat ride but longer than normal for a Friday.

Today’s route master was Heather, proposing a ride to Allerthorpe. The promise of a lovely sunny day and light winds was difficult to resist. Eight Knights plus one newbie turned out for the start at Market Cross. The initial route saw us taking the Molescroft road to Cherry Burton then Etton before heading to Kiplingcotes.

The pace was gentle with everyone savouring the spring like weather. The peace and tranquility was soon disturbed as the puncture fairy rained down on Stephen.

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Once repairs were effected, it was off along the Spring Road and down into Goodmanham. Thoughts of the climb up Intake Hill soon began to appear in the forefront of everyone’s mind as each proceeded at their own pace. The long drop to Burnby provided the reward for our efforts. Unfortunately, the puncture fairy had other ideas and decided to spoil David’s trial run. Eventually he opted for the “broom wagon” and called his “missus” to come to his rescue, while he enjoyed a few moments in the sunshine.

The rest of the group continued through Burnby to Pocklington. The road surface on this stretch was littered with potholes and damaged surface and left a lot to be desired. Turning into Pocklington Market Place we found ourselves in the middle of the #Snakelane10 mile running race with crowds of people and barriers all over the place. It made for an interesting period, though not really conducive to cycling. In the words of Oliver Hardy “This is a fine mess you’ve got us into”.

The puncture fairy was not finished with us yet, as Pugwash’s front tyre began to deflate but managed to limp his way to the Lakeside cafe at Allerthorpe. While Pugwash made the necessary repairs, James was kind enough to place his order, many thanks. It was somewhat idyllic sitting by the lake watching the world go by, enjoying the sunshine and discussing how to put the world to rights.

All too soon, it was time to head home. With a flat ride through Bielby, Everingham and Harwell the pace was quick with Stephen le POWERs making the initial running. With everyone taking a turn at the front we very soon arrived at the Cliffe Road. Common Hill seemed a bigger challenge than usual, after such an fast effort forcing a regroup at the top.

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After a short breather, we were off to Hotham and South Newbald. Jim and Mike then left the group as the rest reluctantly heeded Heather’s cajoling to tackle Trundlegate. “It never seems so bad after you reach the top” said Stephen, ever the comedian!

The final leg saw us head downhill on the Middlehowe road. On the approach to Walkington, there was a bit of a wacky races moment as Pugwash, Heather, James and Mark vied to maintain the front spot and be first to reach the village sign.

Captain Mainwaring called the platoon together for a recce out West to Millington, with two separate rendezvous points. Reporting for duty at Market Cross we had pte Walker, pte Godfrey, pte Frazer, pte Pike and Sgt Wilson. Just before departing, Bob the U-boat captain arrived. Looking around the assembly his eye set on the newest recruit, “What’s your name then?” he said with a friendly smile. “Don’t tell him Mike!”

A look of disappointment crept onto pte Walker’s face when he realised we’d have to climb the Westwood hill to reach our second rv point at Manor House. Pte Godfrey, taking pity on his plight, offered to set the early pace. “My sister Dolly says you can blow a gasket going too quick up there, so we’ll take it nice and easy”

Waiting at Manor House was warden Hodges, however no sign of captain Mainwaring. A check on despatches, showed he’d suffered a mechanical and was running late. “Och we’re a’ doomed” thought pte Frazer before a red faced Captain loomed in the distance, huffing and puffing his way to the start line, only to inform us he was “time pressed” and would be peeling off early.

Arriving in Cherry Burton we met up with Corporal Jones who’d taken multiple choice to a new level. The platoon then continued to Etton and Holme-on-the-Wolds, before heading to Middleton-on-the-Wolds. It was then time for the long drag up to North Dalton and Huggate. The platoon spread forces on the way with the the U-boat captain leading the scouting party.

Captain Mainwaring then headed back to base while the rest continued to Millington. Reaching the drop into Millington Dale, Corporal Jones seized his chance to head to the front, making sure he was going to be first in the queue at the cafe. Pte Walker did make a half hearted attempt to catch up, followed closely by pte Frazer. On reaching the switchback pte Frazer tried to get ahead for a photo opportunity but all the smiles were wasted as “operator error” crept in, failing to capture the moment.

Arriving at the Ramblers Rest cafe, the bright sunshine tempted the platoon to dine “Al fresco”, somewhat to the chagrin of some who were tempted by the warmth from the roaring fires inside. Discussing the return journey, the avoidance of Nunburnholme Hill seemed to be unanimous. Warden Hodges did offer to lead, but with his navigational skills and propensity to yell “Put that light out!” we’d end up lost in the dark.

Leading the return was Corp Jones followed by pte Frazer and pte Pike. After the climb out of Millington a quick pace split the platoon before regrouping at the KP golf club.

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At Nunburnholme we turned towards Burnby and the climb to Londesborough. Another regroup at the top of Intake Hill and we were off again. Corp Jones set off once more on a lone scouting mission and headed up through Goodmanham as had been agreed. Pte Walker had other ideas though as he turned off up Red Lane despite the shouts from behind. “Do you think that’s wise sir” called Sergeant Wilson. Corp Jones was left to surmise that the platoon “Don’t like it up ’em hills”.

Following Pugwash’s failed coup d’etat on Friday, another chance arose today to play “route Master” while the Admiral remains in drydock undergoing extensive repairs. “Staggering Stalactites let’s have some ups and downs” thought Pugwash and proposed a nor’westerly route out to Huggate and refuelling stop at Fiddle Drill.

Mindful of the rule #87 reminder from the Admiral, there was a good turn out with twelve Knights presenting themselves for the 0930🕤 start, although it has to be said that James made it by the skin of his teeth😁. There was little appetite for the Westwood climb so the fleet opted for the Molescroft route to Cherry Burton.

Fair winds filled the sails as the flotilla continued towards Holme-on-the-Wolds. After regrouping at the top, it was off on a “broad reach” until changing tack for the run into Middleton-on-the-Wolds. Turning towards Huggate, the fleet encountered heavy going 🌊, fortunately the following wind 🌬️ made progress a little easier.

After regrouping at Huggate, it was time to face the head winds on the way to Warter. As luck would have it, the route was downhill most of the way. “Shuddering Sharks🦈” thought Pugwash “What good planning” 🤔😀

The tide turned against the fleet as we encountered the climb up to Nunburnholme top. At the bottom of Bailey Lane, knowing what was ahead ⛰️, it was a case of who’s going to go first? Eventually, it was “Billy” Bob showing his racing credentials as he led the way to the top.

A “close reach” passage followed before heading downwards once again into Londesborough with a little kick up Intake Hill before reaching Market Weighton. The final climb to the cafe stop was again wind assisted. Rhett Butler and Scarlet O’Hara having sufficient fuel on board, were gone with wind and continued without stopping, while the rest of the fleet dropped anchor ⚓ at the Fiddle Drill.

Refuelling complete, it was time to set sail once again as the fleet continued to the top of Cross Gates, before turning downhill into the wind along the Kiplingcotes race course road. The final leg of the journey took us through Etton and Cherry Burton before arriving back to home ports.